Regret

Many of the respondents, regardless of how they ended up with their instrument, were essentially quite pleased with their decision. Many said that if they had it to do over again, they would not have picked a different instrument because problems and stereotypes exist with all instruments. Nothing is perfect. However some respondents, representing just about every instrument, expressed a twinge of regret concerning their primary instrument.

• I wonder if I wouldn't have enjoyed the trombone more.
• I think I would've chosen trombone if I could've done it all over.
• I originally wanted to play trombone.
• Clarinet was my 3rd choice... Trombone was my 1st.
• I wanted to play a trombone, but all the nerdy boys did, so then I chose tuba, but the school didn't own one.

Trombone seems to be the would-be instrument of choice. Few other instruments were regarded so highly, but a few others were mentioned.

• I still wish that my parents had let me play the trumpet so badly that I dropped out of the music program all together except for marching band.
• Sometimes I wish that I started on baritone horn or horn in F.
• I wanted to play the drums but... "only boys play the drums."
• Had I been a boy, I would have picked the trumpet or saxophone.

Sometimes regrets were not necessarily about our choice of instruments, but about what happened to us after we made our choice.

• One of my private lesson teachers took it upon himself to point out the lack of good women players on the trombone. It was like he was telling me that I was never going to be as good as the guys.
• I have had a crazy time getting any leadership positions at all because there are always 500 thousand flute girls trying for positions and people tend to see us all as the same person.
• I was tired of being harassed by the boys in the trombone section. I switched to baritone to be with at least one other female.
• The first year I played, both teachers and students harassed me lugging around the drum. I even had my bus driver leave me at the curb once, saying that until I played something feminine I couldn't ride the bus... and the administration sided against me. From then through middle school I had rides on band days... The middle school teachers absolutely did not support my instrument and encouraged my ostracism because "She thinks she's a boy.”

One might think that this last example came from a woman who started band many decades ago. This does not sound like a situation that could happen today. Unfortunately, this passage came from a woman who is only 20 years old.

Basically, everyone has had some negative experiences with their instrument, some worse than others. Most of us just take it with a grain of salt and go on with our lives, not really trying to dwell on the past.