Valentine's Day, 2004 Or Cupid Now Has Weapons Of Mass Destruction! When I was about six years old, I only had a vague understanding of Valentine’s Day. I knew that Daddy would bring Mommy a big, red heart full of candy. Me and Grandma got smaller ones. Mommy would give him a bottle of either Aqua Velva or Old Spice, neither of which he ever used. I once caught him pouring some out into the bathroom sink and when I asked him why he was doing that, he said, “It will make the bathroom smell really nice. This way everyone gets to smell it and not just me.” OK. Sounded good to me. At least it did until I got blamed for pouring it out. Mommy must’ve gone in the bathroom right after Daddy did the spillage. The scent of Old Spice was slapping the walls. She assumed that I must’ve done it because I was known for doing that sort of thing. Like the time I took a whole can of baby powder and shook it all over my doll house. I wanted to make it snow,,, and I did. Daddy covered up for me this time and said something like “Oh, don’t get mad at her, it smells nice and I still have 2 bottles of Aqua Velva.” Too bad I didn’t get a patent on it, I had invented ‘Room Freshener’! We had the Valentine box at school but I didn’t think it was such a big deal. There were about 18 kids in the class, so all I had to do was sign 18 cards, write their name on the envelope and stick it in the box. There was a girl in the class who looked like a little Shirley Temple clone. Always with the ribbons, lace and baloney curls, when she sat down she would smooth her skirt so she wouldn’t wrinkle. That is SSOOO annoying for a first grader! She announced how many valentines she had gotten, like getting 18 was a big deal? She moved when we were in second grade and at times I would wonder what she turned out to be. I wonder if she was ever in the movies? Well, if she was, she was probably the one that gets killed in the first 15 minutes. By the time I was in Fifth grade, the Valentine Box had taken on a different meaning. The girls didn’t want to give cards to everyone in the class, we had discovered “Peer Pressure”. We didn’t particularly like all the boys in the class, so some of them were not going to get a valentine from some of us. Of course, the Mommies still bought enough cards to go around so no one would be left out. One of us got an idea. Let’s send certain people cards and sign them with names like, “Frankenstein” or “Dracula”,,,,,,,,,Alright, I admit it! It WAS my idea! This was the year that the boys drew the line at giving cards to other boys. Not that they were homophobic, they didn’t have any idea what that was. They had seen all the ads showing the hearts and flowers stuff and knew it didn’t apply to them. They didn’t even want to send cards to the girls but their mothers insisted on it. “Social Graces” and all that jazz. One of the boys, I never did find out which one, sent a card to each of the girls in class. He went out of his way to misspell the name on the envelopes. Penny’s came out “Puny” and Margaret’s was “Murgurt” and so on. He didn’t sign them so it remained a mystery. By eighth grade, we rebelled and only about 4 kids in the class dropped valentines in the box. After all we were now very sophisticated and worldly. OH, Fer Sure! In High School, (Notice how I capitalized that?) some of us had boyfriends and they could get away with giving us a mushy card. If they actually bought you a gift it usually wasn’t the Hope Diamond. My boyfriend gave me a ‘gold’ locket shaped like a heart. Of course I put his picture in it and proudly wore it. Even after my Mom explained the green neck phenomena, I just bought a new chain and made sure I wore it with dark color tops. I got married at age 19 on February 24. Ten days before that, I made sure I got a Valentine’s day gift. He had to borrow the money from my Dad to get it. I still remember what it was. Because I picked it out! It was a Revlon lipstick in a case that looked like a Japanese doll. I don’t even know what I got him, if anything. Probably Aqua Velva or Old Spice. My Troll and I still exchange Valentine’s Day gifts. This year I will probably buy him a DVD with a John Wayne War movie. He’s into that. He also has a full beard so that lets out the after shave. I just talked to an old friend of mine about Valentine’s day gifts. She was laughing so hard because she told me what her daughter was getting her boyfriend for Valentine’s Day. THE PARIS HILTON SEX VIDEO TAPE!!!! Hell, they’re both in their thirties, and maybe she thinks it’s educational. © Swampetta (SWAMPETTA@aol.com) January 2004 BACK If you use my graphics, please add my button and a link to this website. http://www.geocities/writerswinter2004/ If you enjoyed this page, check these out: Mr. Valentine The Valentine Box And.......for many others, click the link for HOME. Home: Writers' Winter 2004 Index