“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
Copyright © 1939, 1955, 1976, Alcoholics Anonymous World Service®, All rights reserved.
“What if they don’t accept my apology?” I asked my sponsor.
“Then they don’t. You were willing and offered to make amends. That is all you could do. You might get another chance; you might not. The point is that you were willing and tried.” My sponsor told me.
Sometimes amends cannot be made. Death, distance, and their defiance may prevent me. For some people the best amends I can make is to never see them again. For some a letter will do. Still others, I must make the ultimate effort and attempt to put the past straight face to face.
In the fact of harming others, I use this gauge. If the benefit of the amends to the person will outweigh the hurt they will experience then I go ahead. If the amends will cause nothing but hurt to the other person, then I leave well enough alone. If I am unsure, then I go to people I trust and ask them. They have rarely been wrong.
I had to learn about tact and how to use it. In making my amends I need never bring the other person's shortcoming into the picture.
This about my wrongs…not the other person's.
I put the matter in God’s hands long ago and He has seen to it that the amends that need to be made are made and the others will happen when and if He decides.
The Ninth Step is about forgiveness. The Ninth Step is about courage. The Ninth Step is about Healing.
Step Ten |
