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| Trudg'in |
| Trudg'in |
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| Click on chips to get one. Courtesy of Buddy T. |
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| Three Goals |
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| This family of web pages is not endorsed, sanctioned, or connected in any way with Alcoholics Anonymous® or the General Service Office of Alcoholics Anonymous®. All views and opinions expressed are strictly those of this author. Copyright © 1987 - 2001 Bill L, All rights reserved. |
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| In silent memory of those who suffer from the effects of alcoholism. |
| Every sober alcoholic strives to obtain three goals on a daily basis. 1. Don’t drink 2. Come to terms with the past as we understand it on a daily basis 3. Learn to live with self on a daily basis. First off, you either get it or you don’t. Sobriety, that is. If you don’t get; there is nothing that I can do to make you get it. No explanation could make you understand. If you get it; no explanation is necessary. Gettin’ it comes through experience and experience comes by just hangin’ in there until the light comes on. Then one day…BAM! It happens. You get it. The main thing is showing up long enough to let it happen, and it will…if you want it bad enough. Goal number one: Don’t drink today. Sobriety is so simple. Don’t drink and you don’t get drunk. What a concept! Don’t drink! How the hell do I do that? I couldn’t imagine a life without my favorite brew. The whole point to drinking and having fun was to forget the crap in my life. Don’t drink? You’ve got to be kidding me! Booze isn’t the problem…It’s Them. You know, all the crap heads that keep screwing up my life. They need to leave me alone and then everything will be all right. Look what you all have done to me! See how you have screwed up my life? Leave me the hell alone! Go away. Then I would drink and let the alcohol spin my head into oblivion. The problem is that it seems to require more and more to get me to the point where I can forget the crap heads of the world. And then one day, oblivion wouldn’t come no matter how much I drank. I had to do something, but I didn’t know what. I am glad that I found Alcoholic Anonymous. I was given a way to stay sober one day at a time and guidelines on how to stay away from booze. So whenever I think about how good a cold beer would be on a hot afternoon, I need only to remember the last few days before I had my last drink to put the notion out of my head. I have a choice. I never thought that I had one before. They were always there, those choices, I just didn't like the ones given me. Today I no longer fear choices, because there is only one wrong choice…that is to drink again. I never want to return to that kind of hopelessness and terror. Goal number two: Come to terms with my past as it is revealed to me today. Nothing haunted me more than the past. I was so afraid that people would find out how worthless and messed up I was. I didn’t want anyone to know how bad I had been. These obstacles were so daunting that I couldn’t overcome them. I had allowed myself to be ruled by them and fear them. The program in the fourth through ninth steps gave me a way to come to terms with the more glaring issues from my past. But what do I do about the stuff that popped up out of the blue as I brushed my teeth that foggy morning two weeks ago? It has been eating my lunch! I have a choice of letting it continue to chew on me, or I can stuff it and ignore it until it comes out sideways somewhere else in a fit of anger about something completely unrelated, or go I can ahead and deal with it. The worst thing I can do is nothing. The blast from the past will continue to fester and boil until I blow up. The best thing I can do is deal with it right then and there. Most of the time, if I just talk it out with my sponsor or another sober alcoholic, I can resolve the issue. But sometimes I need to go deeper. Nobody every said that I had to do a fourth step and a ninth step only once. Sometimes I need to look into the incident that deeply. After coming to terms with and resolving the issue at hand, I can get on with life. The third goal: Learn to live with myself on a daily basis. This is the tough part of staying sober. Not only do I have to come to terms with my past, I need to keep the present on an even keel too. To do this I need to stay in the here and now. To stay in the here and now I need to develop a daily method of getting the day off to a good start, and a way to cope with everything that the day sends me. As the day ends, I need to reflect and see where I could have been more helpful and less self centered. I'll have to tell you that even after almost seventeen years, I don't always get it right. The point is that I try. That is all sobriety asks, that I do my best. I have a routine in the morning…I ask for guidance, surrender my will to God, and become willing to do His bidding. I try to do the next right thing and then treat others as I would want to be treated. When I am wrong I promptly admit it, then try to make amends. I don't act the way I used to and I find that I am less likely to get angry if I do not place expectations on people places and things. In short I have leared to live with myself…warts and all. The Fourth Step Guide |
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