5-2-05: I'm bored, tired, happy, sad, nauseus, amused, giddy, depressed, excited, anxious, hurt, well and in full color(tm) at the same time! Yeaaarrgh!
5-4-05: Right now I am so bored I could willingly count every follicle on my right leg as I gnaw it off my body while taking a Quantum Mechanics Made Difficult exam or something.
5-6-05: The other day I was out hunting this bald eagle that's been stalking me so I shot at it but the bullet hit a sewer pipe and crap spouted out and I thought I struck oil so I ran toward it but I got covered in feces and hypodermic needles so I ran away and just then the eagle swooped down and clawed at my eyes and I fell over and hit my wrist on a tree stump and that's why I don't vote Democrat anymore.
5-10-05: *Insert random Spanish gibberish here*
5-12-05: So the other day I was at the store when I saw this ugly guy so I pushed him into a wall of bananas. He was dazed and confused so I stuck out my hand to look like I wanted to help but really I wanted to drive a massive drill bit into his forehead. I never got the chance though because HE DIED OF A MASSIVE STROKE and right now I'm hungry for a BLT.