Professionally-Written Bad Poetry
Let's start with a poem by famous guest artist, Bartholomew J. (The J stands for Jenius) Simpson.

Auf Wiedersehen, My Dumpling (A Song of Spain)
Dedicated to Albert Einstein

It's now the time to say goodbye...
Auf Wiedersehen.
Auf Wiedersehen, my dumpling,
goodbye.
Now don't you cry.
It's time for me to fly.
I'll be back in July.
Here, have a fry.
Goodbye.

your brain was as big
as a heart filled with love
unrequited
expanding in anguish and futility
your home was every
where in the no
where of the universe

#&i!!$%%&?*#@$!!!
perambulate through the door
retrogress to the future before
@&*i&!!!$%&?ii#@

homeless happy hairy head
the fears that we dread
submerge in

Zong zing Zang
Zoing Ka-choing
noing Doing poing
Gang ging gong going
and transform
VADOI-OI-OING!

You

know.

                  Why

                                all the


     hate          ?

I gotta leave now
I can't be late.
Bizness in Berlin
It just can't wait
Keep my violin.
See me to the gate.
Auf Wiedersehen, my dumpling.
Auf Wiedersehen,
Auf Wiedersehen.
Auf Wiedersehen.
Auf.