“I feel like I’m settling…” I said mindlessly eating Chinese noodles
with chopsticks.
“Settling?” Stefanie looking up from the magazine she was reading,
“He drives his own car, maintain his own place, in which a kitchen is not
just well equipped but with food, you’ve seen my kitchen… you said he
looks great and is great in bed… settling?”
“Maybe not…” I cowered, “but perhaps what I’m really feeling
is guilt…”
“Guilt?”
“I don’t feel anything for him…” I said, “sure, I like him, I
enjoy his company… and the sex is really great…! But that’s it…”
“Well, you told him about Nick… and you are not forcing yourself to
him, rather he is the one forcing himself to you… just enjoy the ride…”
“He deserves so much better…”
“Maybe but perhaps he doesn’t
want better…” she said, ”He just wants you… and please stop being hard
on yourself, it’s getting old specially that I know that you know you are
too a catch…”
I shook my head.
“Lex, stop… don’t!”
“What?”
“You’re toying with the idea of breaking off with him and get back
to being miserably in love with this Nick jerk!”
“I’m not… and for the last time he is not a jerk…”
“I could see right through you!”
“I miss him…”
“No, you are not to see him!” Stefanie said, really upset, “you
have a good thing going on here, don’t do anything to jeopardized it but
instead just be thankful!”
I just looked away.
“We are going out this Friday… dinner then what not… if you can
bring him with you, much better.”
“What’s up on Friday?”
“Nothing, just to keep an eye on you…” Stefanie said, “I read
your webpage, I know that he comes to Degree on Fridays…”
Maybe
I should stop writing about my life…?
She
went back reading her magazine.
