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Vol. 2 Issue No. 10/ July 2, 2005
Birthday Boy
1.
My hair still wet from the hot shower I took… Leaned back on a
wall… Enveloped in faint light and mostly dark… The cold sipping… My
eyes on the floor… The shadows in the dark passing through and fro…
One stopped… leaned close… our body touched… our lips met… No eye
contact… no words… He kissed me… Another man stopped from a distance
to watch… I stared blankly back as another man’s tongue roam my
mouth…
Wanting… his eyes burning with desire… envious of the man whose
mouth was on mine… whose tongue swirls with my tongue… twirling…
My eyes on the other man’s eye that watches… how could someone
want someone as cold…?
I looked away…
A kiss… there were no words…
No silent conversation…
Our
eyes speak not of anything…
Just needy hands roaming…
Burning tongues, gliding… sliding…
Hungry mouths… thirsting…
In that tiny room we consume each other…
Without names, we care not…
Choosing to be blinded…
Insanity!
On my stomach, the nameless man lay atop me… pressing his body
against my back… pushing back and fort… to and fro… to and fro… My
eyes perched on the wall, inches away from my nose… Numb of everything,
even of the pain of him in me… I hear his breath grew hallow…
nearing… to and fro… to and fro… to and fro… deeper he plunged to
my being… He held on to me… crumpling my skin… sweat dripped from
his pores to my body…
I
close my eyes…
Paul
looked at me, “Happy birthday,” he greeted me in monotone…
“Smile,” he requested. “It’s nine in the morning,” I answered.
“Smile…”
he insisted, stretching to me a gift wrapped in fancy paper.
“What
is it?” I asked.
“A
gift…” he answered.
I
unwrapped it… a book of poem…
“I
didn’t know what to get you…” he said in the absence of a reaction
from me.
“Thank
you,” I said.
“Francis
wanted to come,” he said as we were on our way to the famed Lady of
Antipolo. I nodded… I understand… even quite relieved that he tells
Francis that we spend time together. “He didn’t say it but I saw it in
his eyes… the wanting… his longing… his desire… the hint of
jealousy that it’s me and not him…”
“Why
not him… he is the one who loves you…?”
Perhaps,
it’s selfishness… I’m selfish… I could make him happy… really
happy even for a brief moment… time… a few days… funny, I asked
someone else for the very same thing…
“Sorry…
don’t feel guilty… I don’t mean to… you should not, not specially
today… it’s your day…” he apologized. “It’s just that, I only
mentioned it because…I could see in your eyes that you’re lonely
too… so lonely… your laughter, no matter how hearty it may sound… I
could still see it in your eyes…”
I
tried to smile…
Undeniable…
I looked away…
