| Call Me Daddy
© Xeen PART 15 “Aren’t going to sit down with me?” he said softly. He was fully aware that he had caught her at a very bad moment. No woman he knew would appreciate to be seen half naked in a ridiculous bath towel with that much beauty products on -- especially not Havers. “Do you want me to leave?” She did not move, staring at the wall behind him, tugging her t-shirt. Her eyes met his and he could feel the remaining uneasiness she had experienced. He suppressed a smile and the urge to go hug her. He patted the padding before him and gestured her again to come closer. They had to talk through this mess first. “I know it’s not a good time Barbara. But I’m afraid there will never be a good time. If I keep on waiting, it’s unlikely the moment will ever present itself and it will be too late. I have come to the conclusion that I must make things happen.” She sighed. She knew she was chewing her lip again but she could not help it. She gave him a long steady look. Lynley was obviously on one of his missions. Was it that he needed to confide in her as usual? Surely enough he came over to get a friendly advice, what else? Even though she was still struggling with her amnesia, she has had time to observe Lynley when she was in Howenstow and then back to London helping him undercover. He was probably yet again deep into another relational conflict with the latest bimbo he had picked up at one of his fancy parties. Well maybe toffs wouldn’t use the term bimbo when referring to their lot, she thought. The poor lad was the by-product of a lost era, a dinosaur so to speak, a former typical repressed public school boy, still unable in his late thirties to connect with his feelings and she felt sorry for him. The confusion that had been his love life so far was proof enough that he still did not have a clue of how to forge a true relationship and keep it alive. Or he would not exile himself this late in the suburbs with a tux on to discuss the meaning of life with a female colleague. But who was she to criticize him? Her love life was not a mess, she did not have one to begin with. Neither had when she was younger and now she was either with her mum, locked inside her apartment with a pile of junk food or on the road tracking villains and turning into a stale spinster. She could not help from craving for her former boss like a teenager but the new improved full of it Barbara blew it on some stupid beauty treatment, the first she had had in a decade or two -- or ever! She was going to kill Geraldine for ever talking her into it. On top of it, she could not decide on what to wear after he caught her up in her horrid towel. As a result she has chosen to punish herself and has dressed like a stupid middle-aged insignificant woman. She wished she had kept at least one of her lucky charm pyjamas, the pink one with the bunnies that match her slippers. Jack’s t-shirt was comfortable but it did not feel right. Her good armchair was in her guest bedroom so she sat as far away from Lynley as possible on the small settee, tucking one leg under her in a childish manner. She folded her arms loosely and leaned on the head rest. It was going to be a long night. So much for the girlie evening she intended to spend listening to her ‘best of Westlife’ cd on repeat reading the cheap romance novel she had bought on her way back from ‘work’ with a glass of Merlot, a chicken tikka and a pack of Twix or two. ‘Twice as much chocolate, biscuit and caramel for your money’, she said to herself. What a joke she was. Well, let’s get it over with. “I’m not sure what you mean, sir. It’s been the hardest time for me lately and I’m still struggling to get back on my feet really,” she nodded. “I won’t be long, I promise. I know I’m being selfish here and I would not dare to impose on you, but I have to get it out of my chest -- tonight. It won’t hurt. At least I hope it won’t.” “You understand that you don’t make any sense, do you? Have you been drinking?” It was his turn to sigh. He smiled and shook his head. “If you don’t mind, I’ll go straight to the point then.” That’s a figure of speech, Tommy. I’m not supposed to say I mind. I wouldn’t dare to be upset. Why do you do this all the time? I feel like a diabetic in a candy store when you’re around. Please go, just go, go… Better be listening. “After you left the Met, I worked for an hour or so, and Winston liaised with Stu to get the files updated.” “Stu?” “Lafferty.” “Lafferty… Oh. Ok.” She relaxed. It was only work after all, nothing she could not handle. “Then I went back home to get ready for the fund raiser.” “I was not aware it was a charity thing.” “Yes it is. It’s part of the ‘Stop Child Labour’ campaign. I was supposed to meet Lady Alice. You remember her don’t you?” She nodded again. “Can I share your drink?” Perfect recipe for a disaster: first show up covered with a revulsive mask, then parade in a baggy outfit and finally the nice touch, get sloshed. Can I be any more off-putting? Jack won’t never believe me -- that’s the worse evening ever. He handed her his glass. She cuddled against the arm rest. “I was already late when I took the car out but then realised I had forgotten some papers and went back to go get them. Buchanan was on his way out.” “Jack? Why on earth would he call at your loft? Wasn’t he supposed to be on a date?” “His date did not go as planned. Well, you’ll have to ask him, it’s not my place to share his evening with you.” “I see,” she smirked. Lynley was getting restless. Maybe she should stop interrupting and just listen. “The fact is… what he told me made me think,” said Lynley with a hint of irritation. He was not usually so quick at getting angry with her. He should have known better, when feeling attacked she was always prone to fight back. “Think, really?” Alcohol had worked its magic and she was no longer the embarrassed and awkward woman she was when he had showed up on her porch. “We’ve known each other what, six, seven years? Why do you choose to knock on my door to expose your thoughts now, I mean tonight? What’s so special that it can’t wait until you ring me tomorrow morning? Or do you plan to stop calling me?” She sat the glass back between them. “I did not want to discuss this particular issue over the phone.” “What’s the problem? Is it about the charity?” “No it’s not,” he deliberately raised his voice. His eyes were cold and his jaws clenched. “I’ll send a check. I don’t have to show up to every charity ball in town you know.” “Ok,” she said cautiously. She had no idea where he was heading to. “So you missed your party and decided to come all the way to Acton instead to tell me that Jack had got you thinking? It’s a little farfetched don’t you think sir?” He took a large gulp of his whiskey and flashed her an irate stare. “I asked you already. Please call me Tommy.” “Is it about the case then?” “For god’s sake Barbara, for just one minute, forget Jack, forget the charity, forget the Met, will you? I’m here to talk about us.” Her eyes went wide with surprise and she felt warmth spread through her. “What did Jack tell you exactly?” she asked. She had a fair idea. Jack has relentlessly tried to push her in Lynley’s arms. When she told him that Tommy had spent their last night in Howenstow with her, in her bedroom -- on her bed, he literally went ballistic. He wanted her to confront him immediately. She had refused to. And now Tommy wanted to talk. Damn you Jack, she thought. He was probably going tell me what I already knew, that we were friends and never will be anything else. “We talked quite a bit actually… he told me that life was too short… well it kind of sums it up.” “That’s a real page-tuner,” she shrugged raising a dubious eyebrow. “He added that you feel about me the way I do about you,” he said candidly. She scanned his face. He was sincere, it was not a sham. Just my luck. I’ve come to terms with my life as it is and he decides to clear his conscience and come clean. She had to turn him down without alienating him. “And would you be so kind to enlighten me on what I feel?” She had to push him away, to pretend she did not care for him. All these years she had been so busy hating him for what he was and loving him for just the same reasons; it was like a second skin now. She would encourage him to leave her alone, that was the right thing to do. Tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of her life without him; no false hopes left. She could not believe that she was actually planning to reject him. He was hesitant. “I don’t want to lie to you Barbara. I did not fall head over heels in love with you the first time I saw you.” God, he was doing it, being the perfectly honest man that he was. Regardless of her resolutions, she could not suppress a smile. “Ouch,” she said, “I was so confident in my magnetic seduction… Now you got my attention.” “It has been a bumpy road, but you’ve always been a friend to me notwithstanding our differences. I know you will never see life as I do. But lately I had time to re-think what I really expected out of life.” His voice was affectionate and tender. She was going to melt down, she knew it. Despite her strong self-will, she was not sure she could actually resist him since she was already contemplating reaching out to hug him. She decided to reach out to the glass instead and he poured some whiskey before she even had time to ask for refill. Alcohol was the easy way to shed the pretence but she was not sure she was ready to go down this path just yet even after all these years. “I’m listening,” she said. She sipped on the glass and found comfort in the welcomed heat. “What do you expect now that you didn’t before?” “You have to believe me when I tell you that I don’t mean to be rude but I have to confess that I have been aware from day one that you fancied me.” “You conceited prick!” she cried. “How would you know?” “I do.” “You’ve come over to patronize me? I can’t believe it!” He waved at her. “Please let me explain my point of view. You probably did not have a soft spot for me right away because you were so prejudiced against the ‘fast-track Oxford golden boy’ and ‘arrogant aristocratic ponce’ that I am. You despised me too much then.” She rolled her eyes. “I thought you were over it sir! I cannot be held responsible for your reputation at the Met.” He chuckled. “I am trying to put things into perspective. Nevertheless you know as well as I do that we developed more than a deep friendship. By the way, I appreciate all the efforts you put into fostering a future with Helen.” Oh oh. He knew. “It was my mistake. We were simply not meant to be. The obvious choice is not always the right one and yet this choice was in front of me -- so blatantly that it took me some time to realize it. Barbara, I’d rather spend months alone with you anywhere than another single evening with my so-called friends in London.” “Are you trying to have sex with me sir?” she joked trying to guide him back swiftly to their natural usual banter. “We should probably have got that part out of the way a long time ago,” he mused. “You were my boss! I could have you arrested for harassing me,” she protested weakly. “It’s only a technicality. We would not have been the first partners to have an affair,” he said casually. “You were married…” “Thanks to you. Sorry, I’m being unfair. Sometimes it’s what’s wrong that’s right. By the way, I haven’t been your boss for almost two years and you’re not officially back to duty. The question is do you want me to make love to you?” he delivered bluntly his face undecipherable. He’s not joking, she pondered to herself. She had to stop this charade right now and make him leave. “So you came over to bang me and have the chance to demonstrate that you measure up to your fame?” She could not believe she had actually said that. Engaging on that slippery slope was tempting now that alcohol was making her heart pound hard inside her chest and her temples throb. “So what am I considered exactly? A Don Juan or a Casanova? Humour me.” “You really don’t expect me to answer this question and have you strut around like a rooster in a hen house in the middle of my living room? My flat is too small for your ego your Lordship.” “Can I be both then?” he joked. “Well you already know that you’re a fine specimen and a lady magnet. Rumour has it you’re also a great lay,” she cast a glance over her glass. “Really? How would you know?” “Plant some bugs in the ladies room for starters. You’re on for a treat.” “I had no idea I was feeding the rumour mill.” “You’re kidding me right? As your female partner, I’ve been subject to every joke known to mankind because I wasn’t part of your tally.” “I had no idea they were keeping score. You will have to give me names.” “What do you care?” “So that I shall retaliate,” he chuckled. “My knight,” she smiled before biting her lip and turning red. This was getting out of hand. Whiskey was clearly not a good idea. She had to stop drinking to stay on the safe side. “Want some?” he said retrieving the bottle on the coffee table to pour himself another glass. And on top of it he could read her mind. She shook her head and handed him the glass back. His hand brushed hers and he smiled. “Barbara, as much as I enjoy your thorough insight on Scotland Yard grapevine, I’m sure you understand why I had to see you tonight.” “More to touch me than to see me sir,” she joked half-heartedly staring at his fingers now clasped on her wrist. That was odd. They had been together numerous times at night in motels, inns and in a caravan or even at his place or hers, sharing thoughts or confiding in each other freely but they never touched except by accident. She shot him an uncertain side-glance. He was dead serious all of a sudden. While caressing the inside of her wrist with his thumb, he put back the glass and the bottle on the table, his eyes never leaving hers. He stroked her cheek and pushed back her fringe. “Yes… You’re right,” he said, drawing her closer to him; fondling her back, he rested his chin on her head. She was half lying on the couch pressed against him, her ear to his chest. His heart beat was steady and calm. She had to put an end to this torture and make a decision. She could not spend the rest of her life fighting the world and rejecting him at the same time it required too much stamina. She knew that he was tolerant enough to accept her lack of social skills, her chronic bluntness and her never-ending insecurities. On the other end, she was not a hundred percent certain she was open-minded enough to put up with his over protectiveness and micro-managing obsessions. “It’s late sir, you don’t want to make a bad judgement over liquor and regret it in the morning.” What ever happened to her fantasy of healthy sex between two consenting adults? “I’m calling you a cab,” she said trying to escape his embrace. “No you’re not.” Lifting her chin with his finger, “I won’t regret a thing if you don’t. I know that you care for me. I can safely say that I love you as you are. In fact I love you it’s what I want to say really. When I came over here, I’m not sure I envisioned I’d admit it so easily, but I love you Barbara.” I love you too, Tommy. “And I’m willing to give it a try -- to you and me, to us. What do you say?” She did not want to acknowledge out loud what he just told her. Not yet anyway. “Where is Jack?” she said in a muffled voice, her mouth against his crispy white shirt. Gently, he moved away enough to see her face and pushed back stray locks of wet hair. “Listen to you material girl,” he smiled. “He’s at my place, probably soaking in the jacuzzi and drinking my best Chardonnay right now. So, what do you say? Need I say more?” “Are you trying to get into my bed sir?” “Now I can see why you did not make inspector yet,” he chuckled. She punched him lightly in the chest. “What if I were? We’re both old enough to have consensual sex. It’s not unheard of between adults.” Maybe it’s all there is to it, she thought. She should let go and if it turns out they were wrong and it was not meant to last, well be it. At least she would have had him for one night. “Ok.” “Is it a yes?” “I mean I can see your point. Actually, from where I stand, I can feel already a token of your affection.” “Havers, I’m only human,” he laughed. “And first of all you don’t stand you’re all over me already and your hair is dripping on my dinner jacket. Come on, let’s get you warm and dry.” He held her tightly and stood up with his arms around her. She tilted her head back and felt his breath on her face. He stooped and kissed her lightly, his eyes almost black. “You did not turn into a frog,” she grinned sheepishly. “Shall I try again then?” He scooped her head gently and he kissed her. Parting her lips with his tongue he deepened his kiss, caressing her neck and the small of her back. She found herself responding fiercely and flinging her arms around him, searching his skin, her body pulling at his. He swept her from her feet and took her to her bedroom. To be continued............. PART 16 |
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