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One day a little boy by the name Timothy, who was about 6 years old, went to his mom and asked her, "How old are you?" The mom said, "There are some things you should never ask a woman and that is one of them. You will understand when you get older." Then the boy asked his mom, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" The mom replied, "Like I said there are some things you should never ask a woman and that is one of them. You will understand when you get older." Later the boy came to his mom and asked, "Mommy, why did you and daddy get a divorce?" The mom told Timothy, "There is some things you should never ask a woman and that is definitely one of them. You will understand when you get older" So the boy wandered off to his mom's room and found her purse and started looking through it. As he was going through the purse he found her license. He was looking at it and looking and looking. Then he went back to his mother and told her, "Mommy, I know how old you are." "How old," she said. The little boy said, "27". Then he said, "I know how much you weigh." "How much," she said. The little boy told her,"You are 130 pounds." I also know why you and daddy got a divorce. "Why son?" she said. He said, "Because you have an F in sex."
One day, President Bush visited an elementary school. All the kids were so excited to get to meet the President. He began to talk to them and asked them to define the word ''tragedy.'' "Well," one girl replied, "If my mommy ran over my dog, Rover, that would be a tragedy!" The President smiled at the little girl and said, "No, sweetie. That would be an accident! Can anyone give it a try?" A little boy sitting across the room raised his hand and said, "I know! I know! If our bus driver ran off of a cliff and killed everyone!" The President shook his head and said, "No son. That would be a great loss! Doesn't anyone know of a good example of a tragedy?" A small girl raised her hand and said, "Well, Mr. President, if you and Laura were in Air Force One and it was hit by a missile and blown to smithereens, most people would think that that was a tragedy!" "Very good," he said. "And what was your reason for that answer?" "Well," she said, "It would not be an accident and it sure would not be a great loss!"
Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married Bill told her, “There's one thing I want you to know. There's a box under my bed and I don't want you to look in it until I die.” Hillary agreed to this but, over the years, the curiosity got the better of her and she finally looked in it. She found three beer cans and 1.5 million dollars in cash. When she asked Bill what the beer cans were for, he replied, “Well, those are for all the times I've cheated on you.” Hillary said, “Well, that's not bad after all these years and you being a politician and traveling and all.” She was about to leave, but then she said, “Hey, Bill, what about the 1.5 million dollars?” Bill replied, “That's for all the times the box got full and I had to cash the cans in.”
A blonde had two horses, but she couldn't tell them apart. So she asked her neighbor for advice. He suggested that she cut the tail off one of the horses. This worked until the other horse snagged his tail on a fence. So the neighbor suggested notching one of the horses' ear. This worked until the other horse snagged his ear on a fence. So the neighbor suggested measuring the heights of the horses. And sure enough, the white horse was two inches taller than the black horse.
