Family
I wish I knew just what that means
My brother called me just the other day
It felt so good to hear his voice
My problem is I don't have much to say
I guess he doesn't have a choice, and I'm sorry
My mothers always tried to change herself
She never learned to let things be
She doesn't know how bad she fucked me up
'Cause now she seems so fake to me but I love her
If you push me then I won't fall
I've been programmed to take it all
And shove it way down inside
Like my father
**Staind-Me
And I threw it back into the old man's face.
He looked at me confused and hurt,
"I do not need your pity,
I may not be half the man you are
But I am me.
So take your smile and leave me be."
He laughed aloud and took a step closer.
"Little girl, sweet little girl,
Do not assume such things.
I am not in anyway trying to change you
But instead showing you my gratitude."
Gratitude? What did I do for this old man?
"You look confused my child,
Let me explain,
From the time I woke up this morning
To the minute I walked through that door
Nothing has been going my way,
But the moment I saw you
You reminded me of my little girl,
Although at times it may seem distant
I have her love
I know this because I can see it in your eyes"
The tears that have fallen from eyes
Will never be seen falling from my children.
The questions I ask in my mind
Will never be asked by the ones I love.
Lies will never be spoken from my mouth
The lips I kiss my family with.
My loved ones will be able to look at me
Not with shame or pain,
But with pride and joy.
A precious toy my mother has kept for too long.
My face has worn off with time,
But she painted a big smile and sparkley eyes.
She dresses me pretty and combs my hair.
She takes me wherever she goes,
Putting me in places I don't want to be.
I can't say anything,
I am just some doll.
There are scrapes and tears,
Visible scars of what she has done to me.
When my stuffing fell out,
She stuffed me so full of what I wasn't meant to be.
I try to hide,
But she always finds me.
And then she tries to make things all better.
Expecting me to forgive and forget all the pain she has caused.
I am not some old rag doll for her to play with.
But I don't know how to make her realize that.
