to see a new life being born.
Just now I realized,
exactly 6 months ago,
I went to the same hospital
to save a life I call my own.
that will never leave my mind.
Scratched into my memory
the way she had done to the unbreakable truth.
A mirror will never lie.
So many had tried to make this one just that,
they had carved to names,
surrounded by a heart or two,
followed by the words forever and always.
I can imagine her sitting there,
on top of the cold metal dresser crying.
Then with shaky hands and tears on her face,
scratching the truth over and over,
making it deep
so it would be more visible than the other scribbles.
"I wish someone loved me."
What she didn't know then,
and will probably never know is that I love her.
For whatever reason she was put in that white room,
I understood how she felt.
I love her for being brave enough to face reality,
and to not live in fantasy like all the others.
I have so many I wouldn't even know where to begin.
If HE were to sit and have a cup of coffee with me,
that would be great
but I'm sure that will never happen
To smoke his magic herbs
And to be rid of the demons in my head.
But in return for such relief,
I let him take a bit of my heart everytime.
Sending chills throughout all my bones.
Visions cloud my mind
Of the storm that I know is coming.
Soon the snow will begin to fall.
Will it fall lightly?
Or be a blizzard that I can't see through?
Will so much fall that it covers everything I stand for?
I'm searching for my boots.
In hope that when I am forced to walk through it all,
I won't get my feet wet.
I wish I could just stay inside when the time comes.
Stay safe away from the sickness it will bring.
Even though I know this all will come in time,
I stay in my place and just prepare.
In my mind it's worth all the trouble.
There has been far more sunny days
But I fear that I'll lose sight of that fact
When it all comes down.
My back pressed up against a set of mirrors,
Voices of others in the next room.
The smell of liqour on his breath.
This is not how I wanted it to be.
I thought I was away,
I thought I was better than that,
But nothing has changes,
Only time has moved on.
My legs wrapped around a man,
A man that I hardly know.
In his apartment,
With his friends,
Drinking his alcohol,
Smoking his herbs.
This is supposed to be the year of me.
The year I find my true self.
Who the hell am I?
I wasn't anyone then,
I'm not any better now.
Only time has moved on.
