| Words and Photos: Yan Sham-Shackleton |
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| Hong Kong April 1st 2003. Goodbye Air, Innocence and Leslie. -My Artist Statement There was a strange war going on created by a country I loved, lived in and just visited. The way it started I didn't understand, and I like everyone else in Hong Kong didn't like it. But more pressing, on the home front, where I grew up and where I am now -A killer virus (SARS) was on the loose. Incurable, not-understood, we're not even sure how you catch it. Hundreds of people were coming down with it, many in the same building. Some sufferers were traced back to being in the same lift (elevator). It was spreading by air travel to other parts of the world. The World Was Going Crazy, as far as I was concerned. Then in the Morning of April 1st 2003: A 14 year old copied the web template of Ming Pao, our Major News Paper. He pasted in a faked report that Hong Kong was to be announced as a "Diseased Zone." ?By noon that day all our Borders were to close. We couldn't leave and we would rely in the government storage for food until the disease is under control. He sent it out as an April Fools joke and within hours everyone had heard about it. In a city, where many went through war, water shortages in the 60's, escaped the cultural revolution, and the confines of China. It just seemed possible. This caused a major run for rice, canned goods and other essentials at the supermarkets and markets. The stock market went down. In some areas, arguments and minor fights broke out over rice. The World Had Gone Crazy. Our much disliked government officials came out in force, and told us there were no such plans, and we should stay calm. Right. The week before, they said we didn't have to worry about the SARS -it was under control. Except it wasn't, and within days, they closed down all schools and colleges and told us to don masks and it was possible to catch the disease by touching infected surfaces. By six in the evening, the building most affected by the SARS, Amoy Gardens was evacuated. Residents were taken to isolations camps at the edge of the city. I was out filming footage and was to go to Amoy Garden's but stayed in the city instead sticking close to giant TV screens waiting for the news. Everywhere you could see the fear in people's eyes, feel the tension on the streets. A little bit earlier, there was a shoot out in Central, in a city devoid of guns utterly unheard of, but that was hardly news by then. Let alone a suicide of man in the business district. I was two blocks away. I saw police cars first head towards the hotel, then a little later head towards somewhere else. It seemed strange, I wondered if I should follow, but there were loads to do where I was. In retrospect, it was lucky. When you have a camera in your hands, one is compelled to record. Doesn't matter if it's the right thing to do because all you think of is "the picture," "the footage." And all the other journalists, photographers were busy too. That was lucky. We don't need to see that. But that piece of news was quietly being passed on. A man, named Cheung killed himself… He was 46 years old…. He was a public figure…. He was a singer/actor. 46? Cheung? There is only one. His name was Kwok Wing, Leslie. News: Unconfirmed. Superstar Leslie Cheung Has Committed Suicide. Many people asked, another April Fools Joke? That's one too many today, not funny, not funny at all. We were all tuned to the news and radio anyway. We really didn't know what to expect. On the news first, images of men and women in white body suits, wearing surgical masks, plastic goggles, boots, gloves, herding families with old people and children onto busses. All looking haggles, scared, head down, carrying few belongings onto buses. Wide shots of the holiday resorts they were to stay in. Then pictures of mostly men and some women, wearing the same sort of thing, this time, holding guns, instead the background is of deserts and tanks. The suits were camouflaged and on their heads -helmets, on their faces -gas masks. For a change of scene, green night vision footage of giant explosions, pictures of children bandaged, soldiers captured, and buildings collapsed. Then pictures of hurried politicians telling us our borders will not close and images of empty supermarket shelves. A ticker came on at the bottom of the TV. Superstar Leslie Cheung is Dead. How? We don't know. Why? That, we will never be sure. Amendment: Confirmed: Superstar Leslie Cheung is Dead. Our city changed again: From Fear, To Panic, To Mourning. The World Is Crazy. Breathing and touching does not kill you. First World Superpowers don't unilaterally attack other countries. And someone you grew up with, your first crush, your teen idol, your movie star, your college art film actor, and a grown up artist you admire, who pushed boundaries and asked hard questions, don't walk up to the 24th storey of an old landmark, a place you walk pass every day -in the heart of your city- and jump off a balcony and commits suicide. Nothing is Normal. Everything you know to be true is no longer real. Only the unbelievable is true. I cannot even begin to say who Leslie is to those who don't know. I tried one night. I tried and tried and still fell short. It was incomprehensible to someone who didn't grow up in the Chinese World. Leslie, there was only one. And that's that. Every time, I begin to say "This is who he was to us, and what he meant to me." It doesn't seem right. Part of the reason why some of this site goes unfinished for so long. I guess, if he didn't exist in your mind, like the days when air was safe. Then you will never know it. And that's why I made this site. As difficult as it is to mourn a person you loved, who made you happy whenever you bumped into him in life. It is more difficult to mourn the lost of air, and a childhood un-captured except within yourself. Air, Innocence and Leslie. This is for you. Yan April 20th 2003 |
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| www.goodbyeleslie.com |