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| www.goodbyeleslie.com |
| www.goodbyeleslie.com |
| Leslie's Autobiography Chapter 1 Translated by Puppet |
| CHAPTER 1: MY FAMILY An autobiography by Leslie (1985) ~ Commercial Radio (Source: Leslie Cheung Cyber World- http://www.lesliecheung.cc/biography/autobiograph/index/index.htm) Childhood Days What I remembered most as a young child was that I was not living under the same roof with my parents. A lot of people expressed curiosity towards this and they often said, Òbut thatÕs impossible.Ó But that is possible. Now that I talk about this, one can say that I have not harboured any bitterness or resentment; as if it is just an event happened in the past. However the truth is, that even until these days, I can still feel the stab of intermittent pain as if some pebbles were lodge within the corner of my heart. Even though I believe that youngsters nowadays should not be bothered by the past, still itÕs true. Cheung Kok WingÕs childhood is not what people imagined Ôraised as a spoilt bratÕ. I am not a child who is spoilt rotten or one who could throw toys around. In fact, I donÕt even have many toys as such. But the most precious of my toys was a tricycle, you know, the one with a bell, that sounded like Ôting tingÕ. My house was situated at Wan Chai. My childhood home is a bungalow, where I live with my siblings and two maids. Well, I have many siblings, sisters, but I live with my brothers rather than my sisters. I am the youngest; I am the 10th son of the family. Well in those days, in the 1950s, I remembered how many of my classmates too were born into extended families with many siblings. We are what people called, the middle-size family. (He then jokingly said: -But not too sure of the production quality). My father was a well-known tailor, making Western suits. My mother married my father at a very young age and gave birth to many children. My mother assisted my father in his business and took care of the administration side of things. My father was not born a rich man. His success was mainly due to his hard work (Pak Sau Hing Ka). He was well respected within the textile industry. His clients include major Hollywood stars such as Mah Lung, Pak Lan To (not sure who they are), Gary Grant, Alfred Hitchcock. My father gained his nickname as ÒTailor KingÓ. What an old fashion nickname, ÒTailor KingÓ. What can I say, those foreigners, King this and King that. Nevertheless, all these (I think Leslie meant his fatherÕs fame in the industry) did not have too much influence on my childhood. What I would say most affected me as a child, was that my parents were not at home with me. As a young kid, one could not always comprehend why one parents werenÕt at home, this makes me depress sometimes. I could only attribute this to one thing, the selfishness of adults. Through hearsay, I know that my father loved women. I once heard that my mother and my father both have two apartment lots in Chung Wan. They explained that one lot is for living while the other lot (on the upper floor) was a workplace. They justified that they need to keep watch of their labour force; therefore they could not live with us. I just think that adults in those days werenÕt as understanding towards their children. Maybe I am one of the unlucky one whose parents fail to understand their childrenÕs feelings. Maybe it was an era where the adults made all the decisions. Cases of reported child abuse were totally unheard of. I am not implying that my parents abused me (However, child abuse literature would have attribute this as emotional neglect, one form of child abuse). Sometimes being physically punished by oneÕs parents need not necessarily be too bad. The fact is that I donÕt even have that. Not to mention of even daring to hope that my father would take me to the park and took some pictures. There was one occasion where our distance was startlingly obvious. I was visiting my father at his office. Some of his employees were complementing how good-looking I was as a kid. I dare say I was really a pretty kid, you know, wide-set eyes, red cherry lips, just like a dolly. Just as adults would address children, they said, ÒHey Chai Chai (little boy), youÕre so cute. HowÕs that kiddo? Did your daddy take you to have Dim Sum?Ó At that time, I was only six; thatÕs right I was in Primary One. I said something really strange. I donÕt really know how my father took it upon hearing what I said. I donÕt think he feels anything at all since he didnÕt react to anything even after that. I replied, ÒHe (my father) was a stranger to me (Ngo Tung Hui To Ng Suk Geh)Ó. Everything remains the same even after this (even though Leslie was joking about this, but I can sense his disappointment. All he had ever wanted was for his parents to pay attention to him, even if it is in anger). My father used to rent a room in Pun To Hotel, in Chim Sa Chui, now considered as a high-rated hotel. He was always accompanied by many pretty ladies. I had two mothers. My two mothers, my birth mother and stepmother had lived under the same roof before. You know when they are two ladies serving one man, there will always be issues of jealousy. Once, due to jealousy, my stepmother poured urine on me. That was what made my childhood rather unhappy but it was all in the past. My Nanny, Luk Che A lot of people do not understand why I insist that Luk Che live with me until these days. The reason is very simple. As I have mentioned before, my childhood was a lonely one. I am the 10th child of the family. My eldest sister and my second sister can be considered as a pair, comparing each other beauty. My third and fourth sibling (he didnÕt mention the gender of the sibling) had pass away. Fifth sister and sixth sister are roughly the same age. Seventh brother was always with Eighth brother. And my ninth brother, may not have obtained a visa or passport, meaning he is dead too. That just left me, Number 10. While my Eighth brother can be said as having shown me affection, we were too different. Our age gap was eight years, which means that we shown different interest in games. When I was born, he was eight years old, when he was eighteen, I was only ten. Therefore there was a great difference between us; in terms of the games we played etc. I was unusually a silent kid. One may question how I know so much, well, thatÕs because Luk Che told me a lot about myself. In those days, we lived in a very old building, and as you know, old building was usually large by comparison to contemporary building. It is really quiet most of the time. When there were guests, they will normally be in the living room. When I was alone in the room, and the adults were in the living room, I was often left unnoticed. I wonÕt cry or call attention to myself or lament why didnÕt any adults accompany me. Maybe you may call this a silent resentment. Very quickly, time pass, there is nothing left for me to reminisce. Nothing worth remembering, and my childhood silently slip away. There is one thing that I do remember about my childhood was the death of my grandmother. That was the first time I encountered the death of someone, and it has left a lasting impression on me. My Grandma Passed Away When I was Primary One, a lot of things happened in my life. As usual, Luk Che came to pick me up at school. One day, she told me, ÔNow, donÕt you be afraid later. Grandma has gone to sleepÕ. I said, what do you mean by gone to sleep? You know, I felt that I seemed to know a lot more than most kids my own age. Maybe I am a really nosy child. There was nothing much to do except watching old dramas (Yuet Yue Cheong Pin). I can feel that something was wrong that day. When I arrived home, I saw many of my extended family gathered at my house, my cousins, my aunties etc all teary eyes. My cousin brother said, ÒNo. Ten (well they call me No. Ten when I was young). Come and see your grandma. Grandma has passed away.Ó I saw my grandma lying dead in my room. My grandma was crippled. When I was younger, I was used to my grandma sleeping in my room as we lived in a very large building and the room was huge. She was in her seventies when she died. She was crippled in her sixties. She often spent her days in her rattan chair. Except for the help of cleaning and feeding her, she was a rather lonely woman. She spent more than ten years in that chair except at night when someone would help her to her bed. I saw my dead grandma sitting in the rattan chair, her mouth wide open. Her skin looked blackened, as if there was a blood clot. Then the funeral director came and carried my grandmaÕs body. Later we went to the funeral home. That was the first time I visited a funeral home. I saw my grandmaÕs picture adorning the altar. I was afraid and I dared not go in to see her. However on the day of the funeral, I saw my grandmaÕs face. She hasnÕt changed except that she was dressed up differently covered in a piece of cloth up to the neck. She lay there and her body became the spectacles of others. I remembered being told by a monk, ÒBe careful that you donÕt drop any tears on the body or else her spirit would not be reincarnated.Ó My Father I donÕt know if my distrust in marriage has its root in childhood, perhaps exemplified by my parentsÕ relationship. ThatÕs why when my favourite uncle married my aunty (who later became my favourite aunt), I was always wailing and crying. Maybe it was a way of my ferocious protest. Everytime I saw her, I just wailed. It was so bad that Luk Che had to carry me and left without finishing the wedding dinner. ThatÕs it, thatÕs the sort of childhood I had. Oh yes, I remember something rather hilarious about my childhood, which I love to share with you. When I was younger, my dad loved to swim. It was his hobby and he continued to swim throughout his life, even up until when I embarked on my career. At that time, public pool was not as popular. The only public pool available at the time was Victoria Park. Most people swam in the sea (a protected sea area Ð or I think thatÕs what he meant Ð Wing Pang). There was a Wing Pang at Sai Wan. When I was younger, there was nothing much to do especially during the summer holiday. ItÕs not as if I could count on my dad to take me for a ride in his car. Hence Luk Che would take me on a tram-ride to Sai Wan. I remembered the Ôting tingÕ sound of the tram and thatÕs how we travelled to Sai Wan for a swim. The tram costs about 2 cents at the time. My dad was the president of the Wing Pang. I remembered the most hilarious occasion was when I mounted the steps into the Wing Pang, I saw my father with his friends. ItÕs like he saw the son of a good friend, as if I am not even his son. He patted my head and reached into his pockets. He pulled out a handful of coins from his pocket and put them into my hand. At that time, coins are really something. You could buy a can of Vitagen for 2 cents. I handed the coins to Luk Che and said, ÒI donÕt really know how to handle moneyÓ. Interesting Story about Swimming When I was a kid, I remember how I really love this particular swimming trunk. This swimming trunk was not as sexy as what you would call speedo nowadays. Speedo was not as popular at the time. I think I got it from a shop called Mei Mei Kids Wear Company. The swimming trunk was very colourful. It had white background, patterned with colourful little fish, red, blue, green lots of colours. I think the trunk was too ÔsymbolicÕ and had a bad Ôfeng shuiÕ. I almost drown 2-3 times at that time. The first time, it happened at the Wing Pang. Near the Wing Pang, well I remembered the beach was divided into different areas. There was one area where you learn to swim. Fortuneteller has foretold that I was prone to water-accidents. But it did not make sense to me as a kid. I donÕt know if you remember that at that time, polyester ring float was rather popular. Before the arrival of polyester ring float, there was rubber ring float, and people used them to learn to swim. Maybe at that time, my butt was too small. I remembered there was a stage where I really hate swimming. My family told me I have learnt to swim at the age of 4, but I could not remember. By the time I reached age 6-7, I was rather accident-prone. While I was sitting on the ring float and paddling, there came a big wave and my float capsized. My small butt slipped inside the inner ring of the float and I could not get out. When the wave capsized my float, my butt was facing the sun. That was the Chinese saying Ôdeath at 3 feetÕ. I remembered the water was really only 3 feet deep. When I was busy struggling, I saw Luk Che in the distance and she was totally immersed in the seascape, without knowing that I was in danger. I sure drank lots of water, but I kept on struggling until I finally manage to kick to the surface of the water and stayed afloat. Once there was a storm. My brother and me went swimming. As I told you, there was an eight years age gap between us. When I was 6, he was 16. At that time, my brother was really fit, he was a boy sailor, his body was well built and he had lots of girlfriends. But now he looks like a grisly bear, he was rather fat, 36 inches waistline. As usual, I grabbed my polyester ring float and head towards the Wing Pang. And there was a storm that day. We were not allowed to swim in the sea so I was told to swim in the training area. But that so-call training area was only guarded by a few planks, and beyond the planks was the sea. It was watched by lifeguards. Maybe because of the storm, I was told when there was a storm; the seabed can get really warm. And as a result, the storm hauled up the seabed. The platform was too high for me to pull myself up; it was about 4 feet high. I was struggling to climb up but kept falling back into the sea. That was my second encounter with water accident. The third time was when my eldest sister, Ophelia Cheung Loke Peng took us brothers and sisters for a camping trip at Ting Kau. My sisterÕs boyfriend was also with us. At that time when we were swimming, there were 2 of my bothers, one of which was the brother who now look like a grisly bear. He was good a good swimmer. The other was another of my brother who didnÕt know how to swim. He was older than my grisly bear brother. Even to these days, he still has not learnt how to swim. At that time, at age 18, he still needs a ring float. I was on a floating bed hugging my ring float with my elder sister while my two brothers were on the platform. Then my brother (the one who donÕt know how to swim) jumped from the platform hoping to land on my floating bed and sat on it. I mean how brainless was he? How can one jump from a platform and expect the floating bed not to capsize. While I was thrown into the water, I was still clutching my ring float. But he snatched the ring float from me and swam away, leaving me struggling in the water. Basically, I was not really in a dangerous position as my future brother-in-law and his cousin were nearby. However, at that time, what crossed my mind was how selfish my brother could be. Seventh Brother and Eighth Brother My intuition was constantly being proved right. There were so many occasions that I could prove how selfish my brother was. For example, there was a time, we were playing. At that time, we slept in a three-storey bunk bed. Practically I slept in the lowest bunk, but while playing we climbed every single bunk. He wanted to play ÔBig StormÕ (Tai Fung Long) with me. He asked me to climb up to the highest bunk while he climbed to the middle bunk. He was kicking my bunk and shout ÔAiya, thereÕs a big storm, thereÕs a big stormÕ and I was thrown off the bed. I fell from the third bunk to the floor. I was surprise that didnÕt kill me. At that time, I began to fear this brother of mine. I felt that he was abusing me a little, although I didnÕt really know the word ÔabuseÕ or what it means. At that time the word ÔabuseÕ was not as apparent as it is now. My other brother ended up fighting with this brother of mine in order to protect me. Talking about my brother who looks like grisly bear, he really took care of me. When I was younger, I did something really foolish. There was a table tennis table in our house. While they were playing table tennis, I was analysing the ping-pong ball and wondering how they make it so round. I donÕt know when you were younger, if you ever have a habit of putting things into your mouth. I stuffed the ball into my mouth and found that I could not breathe. I went to my grisly bear brother and pointed to my mouth using my finger. I tried to tell him what happened but I could only heard myself said, ÔOh Oh Oh.Õ He immediately helped me pulled the ball out using his hand. I realize how this had always brother loved me so much. |
| All of the Autobiography Translations are Goodbye Leslie Orignals. If you find them elsewhere, they are reposts. |