| Portia: You stay out of this, tramp! Julianna: Harlot! Portia: Streetwalker! Julianna: Wanton woman! Portia: Tart! Julianna: Strumpet!* Travis: Cutting in – Oh, not to alarm anyone, but I invited father over to watch me ridiculing Dumpster-Baby. It’s been so long since he’s seen Kurt being belittled I thought it might perk him up. Julianna: Oh, why did you have to invite father? You know he’s just going to cause a scene. Travis: One would hope. And by the way, whose house is this anyways? Gemini Alistair Augustus bursts into the room carrying a shotgun. Gemini Alistair Augustus: They’re coming! Help me board this door, boy! Kurt: Okay, father! Gemini Alistair Augustus: Not you, screw-up, I’m talking to Travis. Travis joins his father at the door; they begin securing it. I’ll give the zombies my brain on a silver platter before I rely on some bad-seed Dumpster Baby. Julianna: Father, what’s going on? Gemini Alistair Augustus: They’ve finally come for us, pumpkin. They’ve come for our brains. Portia: Who’s come for us? Gemini Alistair Augustus: Oh is this the one you’ve been having relations with behind Kurt’s back? That’s a good one, son. Gives Travis a high-five. Julianna: To Portia: Father always believed that one day, the dead would rise from their graves and walk again, to feast on the brains of the living to sustain their rotting flesh. Gemini Alistair Augustus: And today’s the day. Everyone grab your guns. Travis produces a rifle – perhaps from beneath the sofa/love seat or somewhere else where it’s been concealed. The women pull out handguns. Kurt looks perplexed. Kurt: Am I the only one who doesn’t get a gun? Travis: Oh no, Kurt we have one for you. Travis hands Kurt and obscenely pathetic toy weapon. Now remember not to point it at anyone. Gemini Alistair Augustus: I think the door is secured, but they’re inhumanly strong so we can’t be sure. If they start to get in we’ll need to fend them off with fire. We can use Kurt’s clothes to make torches…He looks at Kurt; sighs with disdain…where are your clothes, pansy? Kurt: They’re all wet, stained or torn. Gemini Alistair Augustus: Oh, good going, Kurt, I thought you were used to wet pants by now. I guess we’ll all have the bad seed to thank when the zombies are consuming our flesh…I hope your real parents get their brains eaten. Suddenly the door begins to be battered loudly from the outside. Gemini Alistair Augustus: They’re here! I thought we’d have more time than this. All right, everyone get ready. Kurt, you get in front to distract them. Everyone prepares themselves; cocking their weapons, loading rounds, whatever is necessary. Kurt, standing in front of the sofa/love seat, readies his toy gun. The door begins to give way to the pounding of the zombies. |