You Bring Me Joy

(Like a Best Friend Should)

Chapter Fourteen

26. Date with Britney and Christina

Justin downs his third drink in a half hour. He knows he’ll pay for it tomorrow, but he orders another as he tries to not watch Josh dance with Britney’s very hot, very scantily dressed, very feminine friend Christina. Josh seems to be having a great time, not minding at all that Christina is all over him, grinding him and touching him on the dance floor. At first Justin thought it cute. He’d danced with Britney right beside them, exchanging winks and smiles with Josh over the two girls’ heads. But eventually Christina’s hands slipped from Josh’s shoulders down to his back. Once those hands started slipping further down, Justin couldn’t take it anymore and stormed off to get drunk. Now he’s leaning against the bar, tapping his foot and pretending to look at all the pretty girls that are already looking at him. Britney is dancing with two or three cute guys at once and loving the attention. Justin is the only one not having a blast, it seems. When he finally catches Josh’s eye, Christina looks over her shoulder and smirks at Justin before giving Josh’s ass a good squeeze and kissing him in the middle of the dance floor. Josh looks completely bewildered, and that’s the only thing keeping Justin from racing across the club and pulling Christina’s hair out. That and the fact that he’s fairly drunk now and would surely knock Josh down if he ran over there. Justin thinks about that—pinning Josh to the floor and doing who knows what to him—as he watches Christina whisper in Josh’s ear. When Josh blushes and lets her—lets her—kiss him again, Justin stumbles off to the men’s room to pee and to pout.

When Justin comes back, Josh and Christina are nowhere to be found. He looks all over the dark club for them until Britney sidles up to him and mentions that their two friends left together. Justin gulps and says he wants another drink, but Britney is too fast for him. They’re out the door and in her car before Justin can even think of crying.

Britney talks the entire drive to his apartment, but Justin doesn’t even know what she’s saying. He stares at the headlights and glowing fluorescent signs, hoping the light will blind him to the images of Josh making out with someone else. She says something about good matches and double dates and loneliness, but Justin just nods. At some point he hears something about gaydar and “metrosexuality”, and that perks him up, but he can’t ask because by then they’re on his couch and her tongue is in his mouth.

“How ‘bout it…for old time’s sake?” Britney whispers, her hand in Justin’s lap. Justin looks at her low-cut top, her tight, exposed midriff, her lips that she keeps licking at him.

“I’m a little, um, inebri…shitfaced right now, Brit,” Justin insists, though he doesn’t stop her wandering hands.

“I’ll be gentle,” Britney coos as she fumbles with Justin’s shirt.

“I dunno,” Justin slurs, but he smiles as Britney touches him through his pants. It’s been so long. “It’s a school night. Gotta go to work tomorrow. Can’t…um…stay up late.”

“You never change, Justin.” Britney takes Justin’s hand and slides it inside her top. “You always did need encouragement.” Justin snickers, then feels her up properly. They kiss and fumble drunkenly, and it feels good, but Justin pushes her away when he feels her smooth hand on his semi erect cock.

“Ummm…don’t you have to get home now?” Justin whines.

“Aw, c’mon. Don’t let Christina be the only one that gets lucky tonight.” Justin winces, sighs loudly, and then flings himself at her. They end up on the floor, his pants down around his knees, her top up around her neck, her thong down around his ankle. By the time Britney retrieves a condom from her purse, Justin is covering his face with both hands. Exasperated, Britney sighs at Justin’s lap.

“You’re drunk, it happens,” Britney says as she dresses. Justin rolls onto his stomach, hiding his limpness from view.

“Gimme a few minutes and I’ll, um…I’ll try again,” Justin says to the feet stepping into a thong in front of his face.

“Don’t worry about it, Justin.” Britney takes her keys out of her purse and kneels down in front of him. “Want me to help you to bed?”

“Like old times, huh?” Justin mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

“Justin. Sex was always great with you. When you really wanted it.”

“Shit,” Justin grunts and hides his face. Britney runs her fingers through Justin’s curls and giggles.

“Don’t worry about it. I can tell you’re…distracted.”

“What?” Justin says to the floor.

“Oh, Justin, when will you ever learn?” Britney stands up and straightens her clothes. “Go to bed, you’re gonna feel like shit tomorrow. Let’s do lunch soon.” Justin nods and tries to move, but the floor feels so nice and steady that he thinks he might just sleep there, despite the bitterness in his belly. “Oooh, I wonder what Christina and Josh are doing right now!”

“Fuck!” Justin groans as he stumbles to his feet and into the bathroom. Britney shakes her head disappointedly at the retching sounds coming from behind the door.

“Wow,” Britney says as she leaves Justin’s apartment. “He’s got it bad.”

**********

27. Hangover after big dates

Justin almost calls out sick the next day, but he forces himself to go, if only to find out firsthand what happened last night. When he gets to work the guys are crowded around Josh’s desk, laughing and asking for details. Apparently Joey had wormed it out of Josh that he’d been out the previous night, and by the smug look on Josh’s face, the guys had all discerned that Josh had gotten lucky. Justin sinks into his chair and lays his heavy, pounding head in his hands. Josh shakes his head and insists that he was a gentleman last night, but the wide grin on his face contradicts his statement. Justin turns on his computer and quickly slips his headphones on. He avoids Josh’s gaze and tries to work, but his head hurts too much. Josh emails Justin a few times, asking if he’s ok, and Justin simply replies that he’ll be fine and says nothing more. Justin downs aspirin and wears sunglasses, but nothing can stop the pain in his head. The fact that Josh looks “well rested” and sexier than ever doesn’t help. By noon Justin gives up and tells Johnny he needs to take off the rest of the day. On his way out, Josh stops him to ask if he’s feeling ok, and if there’s anything he can do.

“Just leave me the fuck alone,” Justin snaps and brushes by a very bewildered Josh.

A nap, a shower, more aspirin, and another nap later, Justin sits on his couch flipping channels. He feels a little better physically, but the pain in his heart is a lot heavier than that in his head, and aspirin won’t help it. He looks at his watch and guiltily calculates how long it would take Josh to get to his apartment if he left work on time…if Josh will come at all. Justin sighs heavily and wraps his bathrobe around himself. Just as he lies down on the couch to watch the news, the doorbell rings. A whole hour, Justin thinks as he drags himself to the front door. Maybe he stopped at Christina’s on the way for a quickie. Ugh.

“Hey,” Justin says when he opens the door for Josh, who’s toting a paper bag. Josh simply nods and barges in without invitation. Justin likes that Josh feels that comfortable with him. He watches Josh head into the kitchen and open drawers without asking first, because by now Josh knows where everything in Justin’s kitchen is. Even with the hangover and all, Justin has to smile at that.

“What’s in the bag?” Justin calls out as he sits back down on the couch. Josh doesn’t answer, and Justin worries that he did some real damage a few hours ago. He waits, and eventually Josh comes out of the kitchen with two steaming mugs.

“Here, drink this,” Josh insists as he hands Justin one of the mugs. Before Justin can ask again Josh says, “It’s a homemade herbal tea combination. Peppermint, mostly. It’ll help with your head.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Josh nods and waits for Justin to take a few sips. Then he places a coaster on the coffee table, takes the tea from Justin’s hands and replaces it with the other mug.

“Chicken soup. Good for what ails you.”

“Thanks again, man.” Justin sips the hot broth and smiles weakly. He does feel better, though he’s not sure if it’s because of the soup or because of his friend’s presence. Josh places the tea on the coaster then sits down on the couch—far away from Justin. “Did you make this?”

“No,” Josh says as he crosses his legs and inspects a magazine on the table. “It’s from this health food restaurant down the street from me. They make great stuff.”

“Oh.” Justin takes the spoon out of the mug and stirs the soup. “You go there a lot?”

“Sometimes,” Josh says with a bored sigh.

“Hm. Well, um…I like healthy shit. Maybe, um, you could take me there…sometime?” Josh looks down at his hands, but Justin can still make out a tiny smirk.

“Sure, J.” Justin smiles and slowly eats the soup. They don’t say much. Josh flips through a magazine while Justin varies between small sips and greedy spoonfuls. “Um, what is this green stuff?”

“Seaweed.” Josh smiles and Justin laughs.

“Cool beans. I’ll be good as new in no time,” Justin replies. Josh puts the magazine down and scoots a little closer to Justin on the couch.

“How are you feeling now?”

“I’m much better.” Justin inches closer to Josh and hopes it looks like nothing more than stretching. “Guess I can’t handle my liquor anymore. My head’s been killing me all day.”

“Lightweight.” Before Justin can reply, Josh stands up and pushes Justin gently to the floor. He sits down on the couch behind Justin and lays his hands on Justin’s shoulders. “Eat your soup, man.” Justin nods and sips the broth as Josh rubs his shoulders, his neck, and then his temples. “Is this helping?” Josh asks.

“Yeah.” Justin sips the soup and closes his eyes as the broth warms his stomach, as Josh’s hands warm the rest of him. “Thanks, Josh.”

“So, J…is this just a hangover…or…um…is something else bothering you?”

“I don’t know,” Justin murmurs after a long pause.

“I didn’t mean to pry,” Josh utters as he massages Justin’s scalp.

“No, it’s ok.” Justin eats more soup as Josh gently rubs his temples. Once he’s comfortable enough he asks, “So…did you enjoy yourself last night?”

“Yeah, I had a great time. Didn’t you?”

“Mmm-hmm.” Justin sips and sighs. “You and Christina get along ok?” When Josh doesn’t reply, Justin looks over his shoulder at him. Josh is smiling mischievously.

“What exactly are you asking me, Justin?”

“Um, nevermind.” Justin turns back around and stirs his soup.

“I hadn’t been dancing in so long,” Josh says after a bit.

“Yeah.”

“You’re really good.” Josh works on Justin’s neck. “You know, dancing, I mean.”

“Thanks. So are you.”

“Really?” Josh chirps.

“Yeah. You and Christina…you looked great together,” Justin manages to say, though it pains him to say it. Josh doesn’t reply; he just tilts Justin’s head back so he can massage his face. Justin closes his eyes and lets Josh melt the tension away from his eyes, nose, cheeks, and mouth. “This is…you have great hands, you know that?”

“Thanks.”

“Nimble. Careful. I should have known, though, since you’re a pianist.”

“Please, you’ll make me blush!” Justin smiles at Josh, and then looks at his own left hand.

“Well, they’re nicer than my hands, anyway.”

“No way. Let me see.” Josh takes Justin’s hand, feeling the fingers, tracing the lines in his palm. Justin watches Josh study his hand like a palm reader, eyes fixed and immersed in the appendage. Though they’ve touched before, this is in some ways the most intimate they’ve ever been with each other. Justin wonders what it would be like to run the pads of his fingers all over Josh’s face for hours and hours. Josh touches a few calluses on Justin’s fingertips and asks, “What are these?”

“Oh, um, yeah.” Justin blushes and pulls his hand out of Josh’s grip. “That always happens when I start playing guitar again.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you play guitar?” Josh asks surprisingly.

“I don’t know. I go through phases where I play every day, and then I don’t play for months. It’s just something I do, I guess.”

“There’s so much I still don’t know about you,” Josh sighs. He leans in close and whispers into Justin’s ear, “What else are you hiding from me?”

“Noth—nothing.” Josh clucks his tongue then goes back to rubbing Justin’s head and neck.

“I’d like to hear you play sometime,” Josh says softly into Justin’s hair.

“Aw, man. I’m not that good…like you. I’m mostly self-taught, really.”

“I bet you’re good. You’re good at everything,” Josh declares.

“Wow, way to stroke my ego, baby!”

“It’s an art form, it really is,” Josh laughs. Justin sighs happily.

“Maybe, someday, we could, like, jam together or something,” Justin mumbles hopefully.

“Absolutely.” Josh leans down and says whisper soft, “I’d love to play with you someday, Justin.” Justin gulps and nods, then squeezes his eyes shut and counts to 100 by 7’s.

“Are you feeling better now, J?” Josh asks when Justin’s lost somewhere around 85.

“Yes, thank you.”

“I’m glad I could help.”

“Why are you so good to me?” Justin murmurs, eyes closed, lost in Josh’s hands on his face and neck.

“Because you’re my friend,” Josh states matter-of-factly.

“Is that all?”

“What?” Josh squeaks, and Justin’s eyes fly open, suddenly aware of what he just said.

“I meant…is that all the soup?” Justin stammers before slurping up the last of the broth in his mug.

“Um, no. There’s more soup,” Josh says softly.

“Great.” Justin gets up to get more soup, leaving Josh with a strange look on his face. When Justin returns, Josh is standing at the front door jiggling his keys. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, I should get going,” Josh mumbles. He starts to say something else, but instead shakes his head. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Justin.”

“Wait.” Justin puts his mug down and stands in front of Josh. He shoves his hands in the deep bathrobe pockets so he can’t do something foolish. “Look, thanks for the tea and the soup. You really didn’t have to do that.”

“I know,” mutters Josh. “Besides, I’m supposed to be cooking for you anyway, so…it’s not a big deal.”

“Ok.”

“I mean, you didn’t feel well. I mean, you didn’t look well. I mean, at work—”

“Yeah, I was getting to that, Josh.”

“I mean, the way you just dismissed me, you couldn’t have possibly been in your right mind—”

“Josh, I was just going to apologize for that—”

“I mean, really, how rude!” Josh squeaks, his arms starting to flail around. “A person goes out of his way to ask how his friend is doing, and he gets slapped in the face!”

“I didn’t slap you!” Justin laughs.

“Mr. Center-of-Attention never stops to think that maybe he’s not the only one with a hangover on a Wednesday morning!”

“Oh, please.”

“Do I get a ‘Thanks for asking about me, Joshua’ from you? No!”

“I was just going to—”

“Do I get a ‘I’m not feeling well, but I appreciate your friendship and your existence in this world’ from you? Hell no!”

“Josh, you’re babbling!”

“No, what do I get for my concern? I get ‘Just leave me the fuck alone’ from you! That’s right, Justin told me off, and used the F word in the workplace, too!”

“Josh,” Justin giggles at Josh’s exaggerated tirade. “Will you shut up, please?”

“I’ll think twice before I show you any affection—”

“Josh!” Justin grabs his gesticulating friend and holds him still. “Now, let me talk.” He holds Josh’s face, forcing Josh to look him right in the eye. “Paying attention?” Josh nods like he’s too startled to do anything else. “Joshua…I’m very sorry that I snapped at your earlier. My head was killing me, and I was exhausted and frustrated and sad—”

“Why sad, J?”

“Don’t interrupt the apology!” When Josh bites his lip, Justin says, “Like I said, I was feeling stressed, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You’ve been nothing but wonderful to me, and I feel terrible for treating you so unappreciatively. I beg your forgiveness.”

“That’s better,” Josh says with a smile. When Justin smiles too, Josh says, “I’m glad we cleared that up. I guess I’ll go—”

“What’s the hurry?” Justin stammers, stepping in front of the door. “It’s still early.”

“Yeah, but I need to catch up on my sleep. You know how I am about missing sleep.”

“So you’ve told me many, many times,” Justin drones. Josh flicks Justin’s arm and puts his keys back in his pocket.

“No, it’s just that, you know. I got to bed pretty late last night, so.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure, I see.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Um, do you think you’ll see Christina again?” Justin asks quickly as he studies a hole in his robe.

“I don’t know, man. We had fun. She’s fun. A little, um, overly friendly—”

“Yeah, I noticed !”

“You did?” Josh asks.

“I saw you guys making out on the dance floor,” Justin says to his feet.

“Oh.” Josh turns a little pink. “She, um, well…I guess, maybe, with the dancing…she’s very enthusiastic, I guess. Um, yeah.” Josh squirms and wrings his hands, and Justin loves it. “Based on last night, I’d say that Christina is someone who goes after what she wants, big time!”

“Birds of a feather,” Justin states, smiling ruefully at the memory of Britney hurling her tongue down his throat.

“Really.” Josh toys with the belt tied loosely around Justin’s waist. “So…um…did you and Britney…um.”

“Did we what?” Justin almost laughs.

“Did you get lucky?” Josh smiles when he asks, but his eyes look distant.

“Did you?” Their eyes meet, but neither of them answers for a long, tense moment. “Isn’t that why we went out? To have a little…affection?” Justin asks, his head cocked to the side. “I just assumed you and she were…I mean…you left all of a sudden and—”

“Christina said she wasn’t feeling too well, and Britney asked me to take her home, and I couldn’t find you anywhere, and Britney said she’d let you know I was going, and that she’d take you home, and, um, yeah.” Josh fiddles with a loose thread on Justin’s robe.

“You took her home, then,” Justin declares, searching Josh’s face for more information. When Josh nods, Justin asks, “And…then what?”

“Since when are you so nosey?” Josh whispers. There’s a slight tease in his voice, but his eyes are downcast, his cheeks slightly pink.

“Since now.” Justin watches Josh rub the worn flannel belt between his fingers slowly.

“What did you and Britney do last night?”

“Nothing.” Josh smiles, and Justin clears his throat and adds, “Nothing…much.”

“Oh. Well, um, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah, it was getting late, and we didn’t have any, um, you know,” Justin lies. “Best not to take a chance.” Josh looks at Justin very closely, very seriously.

“Do you think…I mean, I know you two used to…is there a chance that you two will, um…get back, um, together?” There’s something in Josh’s voice that Justin can’t figure out. Perhaps it’s just idle curiosity. Maybe Josh simply wants Justin to be happy. Or maybe he’s envious that Justin might have someone. Justin sees that Josh is gripping his belt so tight that his hand is trembling. Justin looks into Josh’s blue eyes that, for the first time since they’ve known each other, appear worried. He swallows a lump in his throat.

“No, Josh. I don’t see Brit and me getting back together.” Justin brushes his fingers over Josh’s hand. “Not ever. We’re just…friends now.”

“Friends with benefits?” The corner of Josh’s mouth curls up.

“We’re just very good friends,” Justin says, nodding his head.

“’Just very good friends’, J? You could be talking about the two of us.”

“Yeah, but you know how to take no for an answer…and you don’t wear leopard skin print thongs!” erupts from Justin’s mouth before he has time to blush.

“Oh!” Josh snickers good-naturedly. “These women today. So aggressive!”

“Yeah,” Justin laughs, “might as well be with a guy.” When Josh doesn’t say anything, just keeps staring at Justin’s fraying robe, Justin panics and adds, “I mean, you know, most of my friends have always been guys. Like, you know. Too hard to be platonic friends with girls…the sex thing and all…you know.” Josh looks up at him and smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Right, Justin.”

“Riiiiiight.” Justin doesn’t know what to do. Josh lets go of his belt and stretches with a yawn. Never one to resist a contagious yawn, Justin does the same, stretching his arms out a little. The movement dislodges the already loosely tied belt, and suddenly Justin’s robe falls open just a little bit. He’s naked underneath.

“Oh!” Josh is there, pulling the robe closed before Justin even has a chance.

“Thank you,” Justin whispers as he ties the robe tight around him. He knows he should feel more embarrassed than he does. He knows he shouldn’t get a thrill from knowing that Josh saw him, if only for a second. He knows he shouldn’t wonder if Josh hadn’t been playing with the robe on purpose. “Well, that was mortifying,” Justin says convincingly.

“No, don’t worry about it.”

“It’s embarrassing, though.”

“No it’s not, Justin. You’re beautiful.” Josh smiles warmly and kisses Justin on the tip of the nose. “I’m gonna go now.” He backs up and unlocks the front doorknob.

“Thanks again, C. You’re the best, man.” Justin hopes Josh can comprehend the true meaning of his words. Before he can stop himself, he mumbles, “Christina’s a lucky girl.”

“Justin,” Josh says as he opens the door behind him, “I didn’t sleep with Christina.”

“You…didn’t?” Justin asks meekly, hoping the relief isn’t too evident in his voice.

“No. She’s great and we had fun and she’s hot and everything. But…she’s not my type. Not anymore.”

“Oh.” Justin tries not to smile too hard. “What is your…type?” Josh smiles, his eyes squeezed almost shut by sculpted cheeks. He takes out his keys and leans close to Justin.

“Goodnight, beautiful.” Josh pecks Justin on the cheek before turning and walking out the door. Justin’s daylong headache is gone just as fast.

<<CHAPTER THIRTEEN STORY INDEX CHAPTER FIFTEEN>>

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