You Bring Me Joy

(Like a Best Friend Should)

Chapter Six

10. Singing at the piano bar and after

When they arrive at the smoky little club, Lance is on stage, drunkenly crooning, “Saving all my love for you”, his deep voice reverberating throughout the bar. Joey and Chris wave them over to their table. They order another round of drinks and watch Lance hug the microphone stand as he sings, “No other woman is gonna love you more” as he sloshes his drink around in his hand.

“This has got to be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen,” Joey says under his breath. Chris takes out a small camera and snaps a few photos as Lance slurs his words. As drunk as he is, he still sounds good.

“Thank you, I’ll be here all week,” Lance roars as he finishes to riotous applause. When he stumbles over to their table he smiles and throws his arms wide open. “Justin! Josh! Where’d you guys come from?”

“We wouldn’t miss you entertaining for anything!” Justin laughs. Lance pats Justin’s head condescendingly.

“Good boy. Another round of drinks!”

“I think you better slow down,” Joey says as he pushes Lance down into a chair. He waves a waitress over and orders coffee for Lance. Then Joey points at Josh and Justin. “I signed you guys up already.”

“No, not me,” Josh says shyly. “I just wanna hear you guys.”

“C’mon, Josh. I haven’t heard you sing since high school.” Joey looks at the others. “We used to be in choir together.”

“How butch of you,” Chris comments.

“Shut up, pudwapper. You were in choir, too. You told me so!”

“So was I!” Lance yells, throwing his hand up in protest. “And I’m as butch as they come!” Lance waits for his friends to concur, but his outburst is met with only coughs and giggles.

“Right. Well, you two are already signed up, so you’re gonna sing whether you like it not,” Joey proclaims, shaking his finger at Josh and Justin. “You’ve already missed my breathtaking performance, but I won’t hold it against you.”

“You’re too kind,” Josh mocks, giggling when Joey takes a playful swing at him.

“I rock, and you know it!” Joey looks at Justin. “You can sing, right?”

“Um, I do okay,” Justin says, trying not to smile too much.

“Yeah, yeah. Well, I’m up,” Chris chirps when he hears the pianist say his name. “Watch me work, children.” As Chris talks to the pianist and shuffles through sheet music, Justin looks over at Josh.

“So, you sing too?” Justin asks, though he’s not surprised.

“I try,” Josh answers. “I…well…nevermind. What do you think you’ll sing?”

“Dunno. I hope I don’t embarrass myself up there.”

“You’ll be great, J. I know it.”

“I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to…meeeeeeeeee,” Chris croons, his eyes closed, his face sincere, and his hand clutching his package in defiance. His response is the loudest so far, which doesn’t sit too well with Lance.

“Whoo hoo!” Joey, Josh and Justin cheer as Chris takes a bow. When Chris finishes blowing kisses and returns to the table, he finds Lance in bad humor.

“You were great, man,” Josh says, slapping Chris on the back proudly.

“Thanks. What’s his problem?” Chris grunts, pointing at a scowling Lance. “Can’t take being upstaged, butchy?”

“You cheated. If I’d manhandled my boys up there like you, I’d have gotten a standing ovation!” Lance growls.

“You both were great,” Justin says, ruffling Lance’s spiky hair reassuringly.

“Yeah,” Chris says, patting Lance’s arm. “But I was better!”

“Justin, he called your name,” Joey states excitedly and pushes Justin toward the small stage. Justin glances quickly back at Josh, who gives him a thumbs up and a wink.

“Have you ever heard him sing?” Chris asks Joey as they watch Justin consult with the pianist.

“I’ve heard him singing to himself when he thinks no one is around,” Joey says, and then looks at Josh. “Have you heard him sing yet?”

“No. Why would you think I would?” Josh asks.

“No reason,” Joey says with a mischievous grin. Josh starts to say something, and then Justin takes the microphone.

“I’ve been really trying, baby…Tryin to hold back these feelings for so long,” Justin sings as he looks around the room. He notices that all of the women in the small audience seem to be focused directly on him. He smiles.

“Let’s get it on…” Justin pulls the microphone out of the stand and moves slowly around the small stage. The lights and the vodka cranberry in his belly warm him up, relax him. He starts to move, just the slightest bit. His hips, his neck, his shoulders. He’s graceful and sensual at the same time. He grins when he hears a few flirtatious whistles follow his soulful “oooowwww…Let’s get it on.”

“Sing it, Marvin,” Chris grunts, winking flirtatiously at Justin, who rolls his eyes and continues to sing. Justin’s voice is smooth and soulful, but as he continues it becomes rougher, more urgent.

“There’s nothing wrong…with me…loving you,” Justin croons, his voice rising to a sultry growl. He smiles as people clap and whistle. He rewards his audience with a hiss and slow roll of his hips, and that elicits even more applause. Justin rubs his hand through his hair and down his neck, pumping his hips as he sings, “I ain’t gonna worry, I ain’t gonna push,” and the women go wild.

“He’s obviously done this before,” Joey laughs. He glances at Josh. “He’s good, isn’t he, Josh?”

“Yeah,” Josh mutters, barely above a whisper. His eyes are glued to Justin on the stage.

Justin works his audience with a 200-watt smile and flirtatious winks. He stops here and there to hold and kiss a few ladies’ hands. The women swoon and the men scowl. Chris pretends to write his number on a napkin and slips it inside Justin’s back pocket as he passes them. Justin smiles as he returns to the microphone stand to finish the song.

“If the spirit moves ya, let me groove ya,” Justin croons, clutching the microphone and growling seductively. As the pianist signals the end of the song, Justin lets out one last, sensuous, “Let’s get it on,” almost in a whisper, and without thinking he looks directly at Josh. He’s both terrified and elated to find Josh staring back at him intensely. When the applause becomes deafening, Justin tears his eyes away and takes a few gracious bows. When he looks up again, Josh is still staring, his eyes sparkling, his mouth open. Then Josh smiles and joins in on the whistles and hollers.

“Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw!”

“And I’m happy to see you, too, Chris,” Justin laughs when he returns to their table. He smiles demurely as they all stand and clap. “Thanks, guys.”

“You were great, man,” Joey says.

“Fantastic,” Chris adds.

“Way better than Chris!” Lance shouts.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. C’mon, dumbass. You’re buying me another beer,” Chris says as he grabs Lance in a headlock. They pat Justin on the back as they head for the bar.

“Really, J, that was fabulous,” Joey says as he follows Chris and Lance to the bar. “I knew you had it in you.”

“Thanks, Joe.” Justin looks at Josh bashfully. “What did you think?”

“You were beautiful,” Josh says and gives Justin a warm hug. “Absolutely beautiful.”

“Th—thanks,” Justin stammers, his face suddenly warm. Josh pulls out of the hug and they sit at their table as another patron begins to sing. Justin can’t stop blushing as Josh smiles at him, his face full of pride and wonder.

“You’re a natural performer,” Josh says lowly, leaning close to Justin. “You should sing. Like, for a living.”

“Well, I…um…I don’t know,” Justin whispers. Suddenly they’re sitting very close, their legs touching under the table. Josh’s breath tickles the side of Justin’s face. “It’s just something I do.”

“You’re wonderful,” Josh whispers as he strokes Justin’s hand just a little. “You were mesmerizing.” Justin gulps as he watches Josh pull back, smiling as he turns to watch the woman on stage. Justin turns to watch her as well, but all his attention is on Josh next to him—on Josh’s hand just barely touching his on the table, on Josh’s thigh pressed against his, on the way Josh smiles at everyone. But he seems to smile more at Justin than anybody. When the guys return, Justin doesn’t move his hand away from Josh’s, even when Joey gives him a questioning look. He doesn’t move one bit until Josh hears his name and rises from his seat.

“Good luck,” Justin says, and reflexively grabs Josh’s hand to give it a squeeze. Josh smiles down at him, mouths thank you and goes over to the pianist.

“Have you heard him sing?” Joey asks Justin with a raised eyebrow.

“No. Why?” Justin asks defensively.

“Just wondering. Nevermind.” Joey smiles knowingly when he sees Josh offer his hand to the overworked pianist.

“May I?” Josh asks the man, pointing down at the piano. The guy at the bench gives Josh an inquisitive up and down look, then shrugs and lets Josh take his seat. Justin’s jaw drops. Josh stretches his hands and fingers, then adjusts the microphone. He smiles out at the audience as he clears his voice.

“Hello,” Josh says softly into the microphone as he acquaints his fingers with the keyboard. He starts playing a soft, laid-back R&B tune as he hums deeply. Then he leans into the microphone and sings,

You bring me joy

When I'm down

So much joy

When I lose my way your love comes smiling on me

I saw your face

And then I knew

We would be friends

I was so afraid but your arms, they'd say, “come to me”

So I'd say to you

"Can we talk for a while?"

You'd say "alright"

When you love me, I smile

I feel your hands and you feel mine

You bring me joy

Justin is speechless. Josh plays fluidly, his jazz and blues influences evident. Justin has admired Josh’s speaking voice from the beginning, but this is so much more. He can’t believe that he didn’t know. He and Josh have spoken so many times over the past month about music they love, but Josh never told him he was a real musician. Justin feels a slight twinge of jealousy at Josh’s talent, but it melts away quickly when Josh smiles right at him before closing his eyes and going on to the next verse.

You bring me joy

Don't go too far away

If I can't see your face, I will remember that smile

But can this be right

Or should we be friends

I get lonely sometimes and I'm mixed up again

'Cause you're the finest thing I've seen in all my life

You bring me joy

Justin beams. Because he’s so proud of his friend. Because he’s loved this song since he first heard it. Because if he tries hard enough, he can almost believe Josh is singing it to him.

My joy, my joy

I believe this is gonna be what you want it to be

I just love you, I just love you, can’t you see

That you're the best I've seen in all my life

You bring me joy

My joy . . . you're my joy

My joy . . . my, my joy

Thank you, baby, thank you, baby

I just love you, baby

When I lose my way, your love comes smiling on me

“Thank you,” Josh says softly when he finishes, and the crowd is on its feet soon after.

“That’s my boy,” Joey says proudly. The four friends applaud and whistle as Josh nods appreciatively at the crowd and walks back to their table.

“Fanfuckingtastic!” Chris yelps and slaps Josh so hard on the back he nearly knocks him over.

Josh’s cheeks burn as pulls out his chair. “Thanks, guys.”

“I see you still play,” Joey says as he wraps a strong arm around Josh’s neck. When Josh nods, Joey looks at Justin and says, “He’s, like, pretty good, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Justin says softly, unable to say anything else. They all sit down again at the table, and it’s Justin’s turn to stare. He waits until Josh stares back and he whispers, “You blew my mind.”

“Is…is that good?” Josh asks meekly.

“It’s very good.” Josh smiles shyly and nibbles on his thumb. Justin can’t stop staring, can’t stop noticing how beautiful Josh’s hands are, can’t stop wondering what other things he’ll learn about Josh in the future. And as much fun as Joey, Lance, and Chris are, he can’t stop wishing the night would end, so he could be alone again with Josh.

“I can driiiife, gimme the keys, beeeyatch,” Lance growls as Chris straps him securely into the passenger seat.

“If you puke in my car, I will have your ass,” Chris growls, slamming the door.

“You know you want it,” Lance laughs, then starts slurring, “I’m too sexy for my car…too sexy for my pants,” as his friends shake their heads at him.

“Good luck, man,” Joey yawns at Chris. “I’m beat. You need a ride home, Justin?”

“Um.” Justin looks at Josh out of the corner of his eye.

“I got him, Joe,” Josh says and pats the small of Justin’s back. Justin bites his lip.

“Yeah,” Joey says. “Like, you guys were hanging out when I called earlier?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Justin answers quickly. He stretches when he mumbles, “We went out for a beer,” right into his shoulder.

“And dinner, too, right?” Joey asks as he takes his car keys out of his pocket.

“Yeah,” Josh answers with a wide grin. “Is that ok with you?”

“Of course, man. Just…just asking.” Joey cocks his head and looks at his two friends curiously. “Good night, you two.” Josh and Justin watch as Joey drives away and Chris inches forward in his car with Lance grabbing at the steering wheel like a petulant child. They share a laugh as Chris wrestles with Lance and tries to steer at the same time. Finally, exasperated and fed up, Chris grabs Lance and roughly kisses him on the mouth. Josh and Justin watch, mouths agape, as Chris pushes Lance back into the passenger seat and triumphantly wipes his lips. Eyes wide, mouth set firmly, Lance sits back and quickly ceases misbehaving. Chris grins as he drives them away, waving cheerfully to Josh and Justin as he exits the parking lot.

“Well…that shut him up quick!” Justin exclaims.

“Yeah, I’ll have to remember that trick,” Josh laughs as he gets into his Jeep. Justin climbs into the passenger seat and watches Josh start the car.

“What, you’re gonna do that the next time Lance starts acting up?”

“Or the next time you start acting up!”

“Yeah, I’d like to see you try,” Justin laughs, and hopes it sounds convincing.

“Ha ha,” Josh chuckles as he exits the parking lot. “You won’t even see it coming.”

Justin yawns and stretches in his seat once Josh pulls into the parking spot alongside Justin’s car, in front of Justin’s apartment. He watches Josh out of the corner of his eye, waiting to see what he’ll do next, hoping he won’t leave too soon.

“Tired?” Josh asks as he puts his Jeep into park. Justin smiles through another yawn, but he shakes his head no. “Long day, huh?”

“Mmm.” Justin settles down into his seat. He plays with the strap of his seatbelt, but he doesn’t unbuckle it. They sit in silence for a minute, staring out the window at Justin’s front door, bobbing their heads to the song playing lowly on the radio.

“Um, you were really good tonight,” Josh says suddenly, his eyes on his hands on the steering wheel. “I had no idea you could do…that.”

“Thanks.” Justin turns to face Josh. “You really liked me—my singing?” he stammers.

“Of course.” Justin watches Josh rub his hands together, his eyebrows furrowed. “You were…um…like…really, um…yeah. Like…it was…you…captivating.”

“Really?” Justin whispers, and swallows the lump in his throat.

“Yeah,” Josh says to his hands. “No one could take their eyes off you.”

“Oh.” Justin clears his throat and asks softly, “What about you?” He doesn’t think Josh heard him, but then Josh looks at him.

“I couldn’t take my eyes off you, either.” Justin’s face burns but he manages an arrogant smile.

“I was that good, huh?”

“Mm-hmm.” Josh smiles shyly and stretches a little. He glances at his watch, squinting at it in the dark car. “What time is it? I don’t have my glasses on.”

“You wear glasses?” Justin asks amusedly.

“I’m supposed to wear them.” Josh yawns and leans back in his seat. Justin stares at him, wondering what he would look like wearing glasses. Handsome, Justin imagines. “I really need to wear them more often. I’m not getting any younger.”

“What are you talking about? You’re only 26.”

“I know!” Josh laughs. “I can feel 30 coming up on me already! I can’t stay up late as much as I used to, my back aches when I don’t sleep in exactly the right position and…ugh.”

“What?” Justin asks. Josh groans and, finally, turns the car ignition off. Justin smiles.

“A few months ago,” Josh says softly, his eyes wide with shame, “I found…a gray hair.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Josh sighs and covers his face with his hands. Justin thinks it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

“When was it?” Justin asks.

“It was, um, right after I started at Zeeks,” Josh says remorsefully.

“Josh, man, it was probably just due to stress. You were starting a new job, you’d recently moved across the country, and you had all these new people to get to know. Surely that could give someone a gray hair, right?” Josh looks at Justin as he thinks. “Have you found any since then?”

“No, I haven’t,” Josh replies with a hopeful smile. “Maybe you’re right, J.”

“Of course I’m right,” Justin says with a smirk. “I’m always right!”

“I’ll remember that.” Josh offers Justin the sweetest smile. “Thanks, Justin.”

“For what?”

“For making me feel better.” Josh cocks his head. “For being my friend.”

“Don’t mention it,” Justin says nonchalantly, but he’s really very touched. They’re silent again for a minute, both of them yawning and stretching but not looking each other in the eye.

“Thanks, um, for tonight,” Justin utters. “For dinner and for…you were just…it was a real treat to hear you tonight.” Justin is surprised at how embarrassed Josh seems by the compliment. “Really, man. Why didn’t you tell me you were a musician?”

“Just never got around to it, I guess.” Josh’s voice is low, uncertain.

“You do know how good you are, don’t you?” Justin whispers. Josh looks at him, and Justin adds, “You were amazing tonight. You’re so talented. I’m envious.”

“What? Why?” Josh sounds incredulous. “You’re a natural performer, you’re so much more comfortable on stage than I am. If anything, I’m envious of you!”

“But you play so well, and your voice is just beautiful—” Justin cuts himself off quickly. He looks down at his feet and fights the blush crawling across his face.

After a minute of silence, Josh says, “Yeah, but…you’re still younger than me!” They glance at each other and burst into laughter.

“So, why didn’t you pursue music?” Justin asks.

“I did. I mean, I tried. I mean, um. I guess things don’t always work out the way you expect,” Josh states. His eyes are sad, and Justin feels guilty for being the cause of that. “I guess I wanted to be safe, so I majored in computer science, and minored in music. I didn’t have enough faith in myself to think that I could make it on music alone, you know?” Justin nods. He understands completely. “I tried to make some things happen after college, but it just wasn’t—it didn’t work out.” Josh nibbles his thumb as he mumbles, “Now, I’ve kinda lost my nerve, you know? Performance anxiety I guess,” Josh adds sadly.

“I don’t know why you’re insecure. You were wonderful,” Justin says. Josh blushes again and gives Justin a genuine smile. He actually looks happy.

“That means a lot coming from you.”

“The song you picked was perfect,” Justin adds. “I love Anita Baker, and I’ve loved that song since the first time I heard it.”

“I thought you might,” Josh mumbles, then blushes even more. Justin’s mouth falls open.

“You picked it…for me?” Justin asks, his heart racing. Josh smiles like he’s keeping a secret, then yawns.

“Getting late, man!” Josh groans, quickly changing the subject. “I better get going.”

“Oh. Hey, do you want to come in?” As tired as Justin is, he doesn’t want the night to end just yet.

“Um.”

“One for the road?”

“I’m kinda tired, but…why don’t we have brunch tomorrow instead?”

Justin sighs dejectedly. “I can’t.”

“Oh. You’re busy?”

“Yeah. I, um, have plans.”

“Oh! Big hot date?”

“Kinda.”

“Oh.” An awkward silence befalls them momentarily. Finally Josh bites his thumbnail, clears his throat, and says, “Well, I hope you have a good time tomorrow, then.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Is it anyone I know?” Josh asks with a weary smile.

“No, just this woman I know.” Josh smiles and nudges Justin’s shoulder.

“Good luck, man!” Josh says sincerely, and the uneasiness is immediately gone. Justin is a little disappointed that Josh is so happy for him.

“Well, I guess I’ll get going now,” Justin says. He undoes his seatbelt, but before he can reach for the door Josh touches his shoulder.

“Hey! Um. Nevermind. Goodnight,” Josh stammers. Justin hesitates, in case Josh wants to stop him or say something. But Josh just smiles wearily and pulls his hand back. Justin gets out of the car and starts to walk down the walkway when Josh calls him back.

“Justin?” Josh calls out as he rolls down his window. “I just wanted to say that…I had a really good time tonight.” Justin smiles brightly at him, and Josh returns it just as bright. “I mean, all of it—even when it was just, um, like, us.”

“Yeah?” Justin teases as he leans against the car, his hand on the door only inches from Josh’s. When Josh gives him a sincere nod, Justin clears his throat and lets the sarcasm drop from his voice. “I did too, man.” Josh opens his mouth and pauses, like he’s looking for the right words.

“I just…you know, being the new guy, I wasn’t sure if you guys would, um. I mean, at work is one thing but…tonight, I really felt for the first time that…uh…I was, like, in. You know?” Justin shuffles his feet. It makes his heart warm to know that Josh wants to be part of their group. Part of his group.

“I know what you mean, Josh. But you never had anything to worry about, man. You were in from the start, believe me.”

“You mean with Joey.”

“No, with all of us. With me.” Josh smiles and yawns. Quickly his left hand is on Justin’s left hand, there’s a gentle squeeze before Josh starts the ignition. They say goodnight, Josh pulls his hand away, and seconds later Josh he’s gone.

Justin uses his left hand to jerk off before bed. Being right-handed, it takes him twice as long to get off, but it’s worth it.

<<CHAPTER FIVE STORY INDEX CHAPTER SEVEN>>

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