You Bring Me Joy
(Like a Best Friend Should)
by Zaen
12. Email re Thursday night
dinner
From: Chavez, J.
To: Timberlake, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:33 PM
So,
what are we doing tonight?
From: Timberlake, J.
To: Chavez, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:34 PM
We? What makes you think
I want to hang out with YOU again? How
much intelligent conversation, good food, and great company can a man take? You
think I want to waste yet another night debating everything from world politics
to pop music to manicures with you? Why
would I want to eat in public with you again, and risk laughing so hard I
nearly pee my pants—again? No, I’ve had
enough male bonding with you, thank you very much. Frankly, I can’t stand you, what with your
good manners and intelligence and charm and smile. Who needs that?
From: Chavez, J.
To: Timberlake, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:40 PM
What
about you and your annoyingly infectious laugh, or your infuriating sparkling
personality, or the way everyone notices when you walk into a room, or the way
you mumble under your breath at your monitor when you work? Please.
I was only humoring you before. I
don’t even like you. What’s to
like? It’s not like I enjoy spending
time with you or anything. It’s not like
you’re easy to talk to or anything. It’s
not like you’re fun and smart and cool.
Nope.
Can’t stand you.
From: Timberlake, J.
To: Chavez, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:47 PM
Good. The hypocrisy was bothering me, too. I’ve been trying to get rid of you since you
first got here. You, your bouncin’ and behavin’ hair, and
your girly manpurse!
Besides…it’s
Must See TV tonight. I’m not missing
that because of you.
From: Chavez, J.
To: Timberlake, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:50 PM
Well
I don’t want to miss it either, so bite me, sh*tty!
From: Timberlake, J.
To: Chavez, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:51 PM
Good!
So
be at my place before 8. And don’t talk
to me during Will and Grace. Got it, hairboy?
Sh*tty? As a noun?? Ha!
Did you just make that up? What’s
with you and your corny vulgarity? Is
that all the rage in
From: Chavez, J.
To: Timberlake, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:52 PM
Hey,
man, like, my swear words are all the rage everywhere! I rock, man!
Ok,
tonight at 8. I’ll be there.
Um…you
don’t really hate me…do you?
From: Timberlake, J.
To: Chavez, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:52 PM
Not
humanly possible.
Chinese? We can
order from that place you like. I’ll even
spring for extra spring rolls! :-)
From: Chavez, J.
To: Timberlake, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:53 PM
No,
I think I deserve a home cooked meal after you insulted me, my vocabulary, my carryall
and my hair!
From: Timberlake, J.
To: Chavez, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:53 PM
Fine! How does Cambell’s
soup and grilled cheese sound?
From: Chavez, J.
To: Timberlake, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:54 PM
Sorry,
I’m an adult.
I
guess I’ll have to make dinner!
What
do you have in your freezer?
From: Timberlake, J.
To: Chavez, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:55 PM
Popsicles and vodka?
I
guess we’ll have to do some grocery shopping.
Just as well, I’ll need food for when Trace gets here tomorrow. You wouldn’t mind making a week’s worth of
southern Californian, gourmet meals, would you?
From: Chavez, J.
To: Timberlake, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:56 PM
Oh,
I see! This whole invitation was just a
clever ruse to get me to cook for your best friend?
Thanks
a lot, J.
From: Timberlake, J.
To: Chavez, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:56 PM
You
don’t really think that, do you?
You
don’t have to cook for me. Just come
over tonight. I don’t care what we do.
Two
weeks is a long time.
From: Chavez, J.
To: Timberlake, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:57 PM
I
want to cook for you.
Yeah,
two weeks is a long time.
Damn,
I haven’t gotten anything done today.
I’m gonna get fired.
From: Timberlake, J.
To: Chavez, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:57 PM
If
you do, it’ll be my fault. So you’ll
have to move in with me and cook and clean and make music all day, and then
when you become a big famous musician you can make me your road manager or
something and keep me in Jags and Air Jordans for the
rest of my life!
From: Chavez, J.
To: Timberlake, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:58 PM
I
rather like the idea of being a kept man.
You’re on, Justin!
But,
um, does that mean I have to, um, you know, service you?
From: Timberlake, J.
To: Chavez, J.
Security: Private
Time: 4:59 PM
You
make it sound like it’s a bad thing! Ha!
Oh,
thank God this day is over. I’ll meet
you in the parking lot.
**********
13. Thursday dinner before Trace
They spend over an hour in the
grocery store, play-fighting over sugary vs. adult cereal and brown vs. white
rice. Back at Justin’s apartment, Josh
cooks while Justin cleans. They yell at
each other over the vacuum cleaner like an old married couple. When Josh makes that observation, Justin
rolls his eyes and goes back to vacuuming.
He smiles when Josh isn’t looking.
They set the table together, and
Justin can’t get over how comfortable it feels…natural. He watches Josh pour wine and plate the pasta
like this is something they’ve done many times before. A chill runs through him when re realizes
just how much he’s going to hate the next two weeks.
Over the past two months they’ve
eaten out together several times, always chatting and laughing throughout the
meals. This is different. This is at home, at Justin’s table, with
Justin’s dishes and glasses, eating food Josh made with his own two hands. This is much more intimate than fajitas and
fried chicken salad at Houlihan’s. They don’t talk much once they start
eating. Justin is too nervous, and he
figures Josh might be, too. Silly,
Justin thinks, because the food is wonderful.
The wine Josh picked out is wonderful.
Everything is wonderful. Justin
eats in silence and smiles at the table and wishes he’d lit candles.
“Mmmm…that
was soooooooooo good,” Justin says as he stretches
and pats his stomach. “Marvelous. Thank you so much, man, really.”
“You’re welcome,” replies Josh with
a small nod.
“This is really good, too,” Justin
says before sipping down the last of his red wine. Josh motions to get up to retrieve the bottle
from the kitchen, but Justin catches his forearm to keep him from moving. “I’m good, thanks.”
“Ok.” Josh sits back in his chair and stretches a
little, a full, contented groan rumbling in his throat. Justin pulls his hand back and averts his
eyes from the sight of Josh’s shirt pulling tight across his chest.
“You’ll have to write down the
recipe for me,” Justin says, half serious, as he wipes his mouth with the
napkin from his lap. Josh looks at him
with a hint of a question, then he chuckles.
“There’s nothing to write down: boil
water, brown meat, sauté mushrooms, roast the garlic. It’s pretty straightforward, J.”
“Yeah, but,
I can’t sauté anything,” Justin laughs.
He picks up the last piece of sun-dried tomato flavored penne and slips
it into his mouth. He licks his
fingertips of pasta sauce and sighs contentedly. “This is a real treat for me, you have no
idea.” He gives his finger one last
long, not too obvious suck. He
looks up quickly to find Josh smiling and a little pink in the cheeks, but his eyes are focused on the
bottom of his wineglass. Justin wants to
kick himself.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Josh says
bashfully, “but it’s not that big a deal, really.”
“Oh, yes it is. I haven’t had a home-cooked meal in a long
time.” Justin looks down at his
hands. After a few seconds of silence,
he mumbles quickly, without thinking, “This is nice. I could really get used to this.”
“I could, too,” Josh mutters, his
cheeks flushing as he nods his head.
Justin doesn’t know how to take that response.
“You’re a renaissance man!” Justin squeaks enthusiastically. “You work, you’re a wonderful musician, you
cook—what can’t you do?” Josh smiles
shyly down at his hands. Justin has to
bite his lip to keep from saying God, you’re cute out loud. Instead he lets the wine loosen his tongue
and he says, “Your ex must have been crazy to let you go.” The mood changes quickly, and where there
were seconds ago comfortableness and even flirtation, now there’s a sharp
tension. Josh’s brow furrows. He clears his throat.
“Yeah, um, right.”
“Hey, I’m sorry,” Justin whispers. He grabs Josh’s hand and squeezes it. “Josh—”
“Let’s get these dishes done before Friends
starts,” Josh mumbles and pulls out of Justin’s grip. He takes his and Justin’s plates to the
kitchen and starts rinsing them. Justin
is on his feet immediately, anxious to clear this up right away.
“Hey,” Justin says as he lays a warm
hand on Josh’s shoulder. “I’m sorry if I
hurt your feelings.” Josh sighs and
leans into the touch.
“Don’t worry about it.” Josh bites his bottom lip as he rinses his plate
under the water. Without thinking Justin
rests his chin on Josh’s shoulder. He’s
warm inside from the wine, and now, with his hands on Josh’s arms and his chest
against Josh’s back, he’s even warmer.
Josh doesn’t say anything, but Justin can feel him breathing faster.
“You’re my guest, you shouldn’t be
doing dishes,” Justin says as he reaches around Josh’s slim body to force him
to release the plate. Josh giggles a
little and lets Justin free his hands.
“Whatever you say. You’re the boss!”
“Remember that!” Justin laughs and suddenly his arms are
around Josh’s waist, and he’s hugging him from behind. It takes a few seconds for it to register in
Justin’s brain just what he’s doing, but by then it’s too late. He holds his breath.
“J, are you drunk?” It’s hard to tell if Josh is making fun or if
he’s genuinely curious.
“Just a little bit,” Justin mumbles
into Josh’s neck, and it takes all his restraint not to lick the soft skin
under his lips.
“Even on a full
stomach?” Justin can feel the
words vibrating in Josh’s chest. He’s
holding him that close.
“Red wine always goes right to my
head.”
“I’ll definitely have to remember
that,” Josh laughs, and turns to look at Justin over his shoulder. They smile at each other, but it’s a new
smile. Something lurks underneath
it. Justin’s palms start to sweat.
“You gonna plow me with red wine so
you can take advantage of me?” Justin teases, and nudges Josh in the ribs
gently. Josh starts to say something, then stops himself.
He nudges Justin in the stomach just as gently.
“You wish!”
“Oh, yeah?” Justin starts tickling Josh on his sides, and
soon they’re both laughing hysterically, Josh at the tickling, Justin at Josh’s
strangled, high-pitched squeal of a laugh.
Justin traps Josh against the sink as his fingers skirt along his tummy
and his waist. As much as Josh squirms
and begs for mercy, he doesn’t move away from Justin’s touch. When they’ve both laughed so hard that they
can barely breathe, Justin drops his hands away. He watches Josh wipe tears from his eye and
straighten his shirt.
“Like, I’m pretty ticklish,” Josh
says as he flips his hair out of his face and starts rinsing the dishes
again.
“I noticed—and hey! I told you to leave those alone!” Justin
tries to push Josh aside, but his friend won’t be deterred.
“Stop it!” Josh laughs.
“And don’t tickle me again, or I’ll pee my pants!” Justin sighs happily and leans against Josh’s
back again. He stays there, inhaling
Josh’s scent of hair and food and, now, Justin’s apartment. He likes the combination. He also likes that Josh doesn’t push him
away. A whole minute
of this goes by, Josh working on a tomato sauce-scorched pot, Justin hugging
him from behind, neither of them saying anything.
“Thanks for dinner,” Justin says,
then hiccups. He thanks God he has
sloppy tipsiness as an excuse for the affection. Before Josh can reply Justin adds, “And I’m
sorry about that comment from before. I
didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t. I’m over—that’s in the past. I’ve moved on, Justin,” Josh says softly.
“Good.” Justin’s face burns, but he doesn’t let
go. “I just want you to be happy, Josh.”
“I am happy,” Josh says. “I’m very happy…now.”
“Good. Excellent. Great.”
Justin doesn’t know what else to say, so he gives Josh one more squeeze,
kisses him on the temple, ruffles his hair, and says, “It’s time for Must See
TV!” He rushes to the living room and
turns the TV on very loud.
Josh joins him in the living room by
the time
It soon becomes apparent that
working all day, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and tickling have worn them
out. Justin yawns as Josh stretches,
then vice versa. By the time Scrubs
comes on Josh is leaning on Justin’s shoulder, barely able to keep his eyes
open.
“I can’t believe how tired I am,”
Josh yawns and rubs his cheek against Justin’s arm. “Don’t let me fall asleep.” Justin nods but thinks that he’d like to see
what Josh looks like sleeping. He
watches Josh get comfortable against him, sinking down further into the couch,
his eyelashes flickering on his cheek.
Justin thinks his inebriated pawing of Josh earlier in the kitchen has opened
up their friendship to a higher level of physical closeness. Either that or Josh is just dead tired. Either way, Justin is happy.
“Rerun,” Josh says when Will and
Grace comes on. He yawns but doesn’t
move from Justin’s side. “I’m so fucking
tired.”
“Me, too.”
“I don’t think I can move,” groans
Josh. Justin gulps, unable to resist.
“You, um, can stay here—if you
want.”
“Yeah?”
Josh whispers. He doesn’t look up, just
strokes Justin’s arm slowly. Justin
wonders if Josh is thinking about it, the proposition. Justin swallows hard. Proposition. “I am kinda tired.” Justin bites his lip as he watches Josh grin
sleepily at him. Then Josh comes a little closer and just stares at him, studying
Justin’s expression. Justin holds his
breath.
“You know what—I should get going,”
Josh says quickly. He stands,
stretches and slowly walks to the door.
Justin takes a deep breath and follows him. He’s both relieved and disappointed.
“Well, drive safely.” Justin forces a smile. Josh smiles back as he jiggles his keys in
his hand. They both stare at the door
like it’s going to open on its own.
“Thanks for having me over,” Josh
says suddenly.
“Thanks for making dinner. And for helping out. And for shopping with me. And for the wine…and…everything,” Justin
says, suddenly embarrassed that his friend has done so much for him. “You really helped me out tonight. You’ve gotta let me do something for you.”
“Actually, there is something,” Josh
says with a sly grin. Justin’s heart starts
to race. “Would it be possible for you
to, um, only if it’s convenient for you—I don’t want to put you out or
anything—”
“Just ask already!” Justin laughs.
“Ok.
Could you feed my cat while I’m gone?”
“Oh.
Yeah. Sure.” Justin wills away the sinking feeling in his
stomach. Josh smiles happily and starts
telling him how it won’t be too much bother, and that he’ll make it up to
him. But Justin only listens half-heartedly. He nods like he’s paying attention, and makes
a vow to himself to stop this—whatever this is—that he’s
doing/thinking/feeling in regards to his purely platonic friend.
“Hey, are you in there?” Josh kids,
waving a hand in front of Justin’s blank face.
“More effects of the red wine?”
“Yeah, I suppose.” Justin shrugs himself out of his stupor. “Look, I’m sorry about…all that…you
know. For being all
touchy-feely earlier.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Josh’s eyes sparkle, Justin notices.
“I’m not usually like that, I’m sure
you know. It was just the wine
and…whatever. God, have I really turned
into a girl?” Justin moans.
“If you have, then so have I!”
“At least we’re pretty girls!”
“You know it!” Josh chirps with a
wink. They laugh for a bit, but when
they stop they go back to the awkward staring at the door.
“Well, goodnight, Josh.”
“See you tomorrow.” Josh starts for the door, then
he quickly turns and pulls Justin into a tight hug. “Don’t worry about…you know. I kinda like it,” Josh whispers into Justin’s
ear.
“Me, too.”
“See ya,”
Josh says, then quickly kisses Justin on the cheek. He leaves, and Justin’s resolve is completely
out the window.
<<CHAPTER
SEVEN STORY INDEX CHAPTER
NINE>>
FEEDBACK UPDATES LIST MAIN INDEX
Copyright © KTA December 2, 2002 – June 2, 2004