Ai No Corrida

By Zaen

CHAPTER THREE

Justin called you out of the blue. Cameron was going out of town, for at least a day, so you could stay at Justin’s overnight. You tried to contain your excitement as you threw a change of clothes and a toothbrush into a bag.

“Am I early?” you asked when you arrived. Justin didn’t seem too thrilled.

“Well, um. No, I just—nevermind. C’mon.” Justin pulled you upstairs. His smile grew with each step.

You’d never shared a bubble bath before, but Justin seemed really keen on the idea. When you’d soaked for a bit, he straddled you and placed your soapy hand on his cock.

“Wash me, JC.” You nodded, and then you finally started kissing, softly. It had been a while since you’d been alone. After the Super Bowl brouhaha Justin had all but gone underground, which would have been great for you two, if not for the fact that he’d taken his girlfriend with him. From what you could tell they’d been inseparable ever since, which was evident when you kissed his neck and shoulders.

“Justin.” You inhaled again. Woman. Girlfriend. Not just perfume. “You were just with her, weren’t you?”

Justin sighed and moved your stilled hand on his penis again. “Yeah. I’m sorry, man. I just wasn’t expecting you over so soon.”

“Ok, ok. I’m…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come right away. I was just…”

“Just what, C?”

“I was just so eager to see you, that’s all,” you admitted.

“Aw, baby.” He leaned toward you, but the ringing phone suddenly startled you out of a perfect kiss.

“Are you going to get that?”

“No,” Justin whispered as he wrapped you in his arms.

You’d never fucked in a bubble bath, but Justin seemed really keen on the idea. He had you on his lap, the two of you jerking each other off, and he kept asking you breathily, “Can we…use soap? As lube? Will it work? Can we, sweetie?” He was teasing your anus with the tip of his cock, getting you so hot that you were considering just sinking onto him, when Trace started banging on the bathroom door.

“Shit!” Justin squealed when you slipped and accidentally elbowed him in the chest. “I’m taking a bath, Trace!”

“Uh, I just got in and saw C’s car and, uh…howyadoin’, man?” Trace whined.

“Hellooow!” you squeaked.

“Yeah, uh, J…did you, uh, check your messages?”

“No, because I’m busy, man.” Justin kissed your cheek.

“Yeah, well, I just thought you should know. Cam—she left a message about 5 minutes ago saying she changed her flight, and she’s on her way back to the house. Now!”

Justin stopped kissing your cheek.

Justin drained the tub while you dried off and found the clothes that he ripped off you only 20 minutes earlier. Neither of you spoke while you dressed. When you picked up your keys, Justin wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you tightly.

“I gotta go,” you mumbled into Justin’s neck.

“No. I don’t want you to go. It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other. Stay here, C.”

“Why? So I can watch you two in domestic bliss?” You didn’t mean to sound so jealous, even if you were. “What, do you want me to watch you make love to her?” Justin swallowed. It took a few seconds for him to meet your eye.

“Y-yes.”

How Justin talked you into it, you’ll never know. Surely it was because of his kisses and his pleading and his hands slipping up your chest as he pulled you into the closet that connected the master bath to the bedroom. You protested, but then Justin whispered, “Watch me, JC. It’ll be you I’m making love to.” You were putty in his hands after that. He told you to meet him in the kitchen…afterwards…and you nodded your head and took your place by the slightly ajar closet door.

Justin bolted downstairs when Cameron let herself into his house. Your instinct was to retreat, but you got a perverse thrill when you thought about what they would look like…what he would look like. Before you knew it you heard Justin’s girlfriend’s voice filling the house with giggles, and then silence. You knew that silence. Justin always kissed you hello for minutes.

Cameron flopped down on the bed as she told Justin about her cancelled flight and how tired she was. Justin stood at the side of the bed and turned towards you. Your eyes met, and you knew he was really going to do this. He wanted to do this. For her or for you, you didn’t know, and that’s what made you frown.

“Mmm, Justin.” You made fists in your shoes as you watched them kiss. “Oh, I almost forgot to tell you what my manager said—”

“Later. Kiss me.” Justin sometimes liked to shut you up with his tongue, too. You always liked it, but she seemed a little peeved.

“Mmmph…Justin…c’mon, baby! We just made love, like, 3 hours ago!”

You wondered if they could hear your stomach growling.

“I know, but…I’m a bit, uh, anxious,” Justin whispered as his hand crawled up her thigh. She rubbed against him, and laughed.

“I see that, baby!”

“You feel that?”

“Oh, yeah!” You hoped you didn’t sound this silly when you were with Justin. Then you felt guilty for feeling superior, because Justin seemed to be having a great time making out with her…and undressing her…and kissing her all over. You hung your head. You really didn’t want to watch this.

“You’re so beautiful,” you heard him say. She giggled, and Justin said it again. When you finally could stand to look again, you were a bit shocked to find that Justin was turned towards you when he said, “No one could be more beautiful than you.” You promised yourself you’d watch everything, no matter how hard it would be to see, no matter how hard watching was making you.

Watching Justin go down on his girlfriend wasn’t as upsetting as you would have thought. She seemed to enjoy it, as did Justin. Justin concentrated on her, but once or twice his eyes shot over to you. You smiled and remembered a 15 year old Justin on the tour bus asking you how to spell cunnilingus. Joey had offered to demonstrate on a piece of ripe fruit, and Justin had laughed and buried his blushing face in your chest. You let the idea graze your brain that, in some small way, you contributed to the making of this consummate lover before you.

You reveled in that thought. You needed it, because they switched positions, and then you were watching Justin’s cock in someone else’s mouth. In his girlfriend’s mouth. You bit your lip and made yourself watch. Only her lack of technique allowed you to stand it. That, and Justin inching them both over, so you could get a better view. He whispered things to her that made her giggle and growl, and then he turned to you and licked his lips. Justin, cock being sucked, lips wet, hips moving, was a surefire way to get you hot right away. But then his girlfriend was crawling on top of him, and you were seeing Justin fucking another person. You knew it was coming, but it still knocked the wind out of your chest. By the time they switched positions again, you were completely flaccid.

Justin had her on her back down at the foot of the bed. It was a little relief for you—you couldn’t really see anything close up from your angle. But you could see the tops of their heads as they kissed and as they whispered to one another. You forced yourself to watch. Then Justin started speaking louder. He kissed all over her face and her neck as he hummed, “You feel so good. I missed you. I needed you. So good, baby.” His eyes were closed.

“Justin…talk to me,” she growled. You tried your best to ignore her voice. Justin’s sex voice was too good to miss, even if he was aiming it at someone besides you.

“Ohh.” Justin rose up over her, his face to the ceiling. “Wanted you. Had to have you.”

“Kiss me. Sweetie?”

“Love fucking you. I need it so bad, you don’t even know.”

“Justin, look at me.”

“God.” Justin rode her faster.

“Justin, where are you?”

“Aw...does it feel good, baby?” he groaned, and then he looked directly at you. “Do you love me inside you?” You wanted to answer him, but you bit your tongue. “Shit…waited so long to be inside you again,” he groaned.

“Justin!” Cameron grabbed his face and forced him to look down at her. “Baby, why won’t you look at me? It’s like I’m not even here!”

“I’m…I’m…sorry,” Justin sputtered. You were torn between amusement and guilt.

“Look at me, sweetheart. I’m right here.” They kissed, and he whispered another “I’m sorry” into her mouth, but his eyes were turned towards you.

She was on top of Justin, with her back to you, Justin slamming up into her and trying to crane his neck around her to catch your eye, when she first moaned, “I love you. I love you, J.” It was like she slapped you in the face twice, on both cheeks.

She pressed Justin’s hand between her legs and started to squeal as he stroked her and fucked her. You’d be proud of Justin if you were anyone else on the planet but you.

She came moaning, “I love you…I love you,” while Justin held her tightly and said nothing. Before she stopped shaking, he pushed her over on her back, pulled her close, and plowed into her. She held on as he fucked her harder. All you could see was Justin’s grimacing face, his flexing back, and her legs wrapped high around him, just barely hanging on.

“Justin…oh…Justin?”

“Fuck…wanna…come…inside you.”

“Justin! Slow down!”

“Baby…so close. You always…love it…like this,” Justin grunted, eyes still shut.

“Justin, baby, what’s the matter with you?”

He held her hips tightly, and his voice went higher than usual when he moaned, “Waited…so long. Can’t wait anymore…baby!” You knew that squeak in his voice. He was just on the brink.

“Justin—”

“Oh…fuck…me.”

“Please, sweetie, open your eyes and look at me!”

“Want you to fuck me,” he warbled.

“Justin, what are you saying?”

“Oh, God. I’m…I’m…baby.” Justin opened his eyes and looked right at you, and you almost rushed to him, to hold him, and to kiss him. Because you thought it was you that he wanted right then. He told you, before, that this was you he was making love to. You wanted to believe that more than anything, but then Justin pressed his forehead against his girlfriend’s, he crushed her to him, and he bellowed, “I love you, baby!” Your throat started to tighten, so you gathered your stuff and quietly rushed out through the bathroom just as you heard Justin cry, “I love you…J-J-Jesus…I love you so fucking much, baby.”

You tiptoed downstairs, but you let the door slam shut behind you. And you revved the motor before you drove away. Justin can say that it was Trace, you told yourself. If she noticed.

It wasn’t that you’d forgotten your promise to meet Justin in the kitchen after he’d finished. You’d remembered. You just couldn’t. You didn’t want him to see how hard you were crying.

A few days later, you got an email from Justin.

I waited for you in the kitchen for 15 minutes before I realized you’d left.

I was hoping we’d get to talk. I want to know what you thought about what you saw.

About what you heard.

Call me. Please.

Missing you….J

You didn’t know what to say, so you waited a few days. You really didn’t want to discuss Justin’s heterosexual prowess, or how he screamed he loved Cameron when he came. By the time you called Justin’s house, he’d left for Canada to work on his movie.

~~*~~

By the time Challenge for the Children VI rolled around, you hadn’t seen Justin in months. You rushed to Miami, anxious to spend at least a little quality time with him. But this time Cameron wasn’t just around at night—she was actually involved with the event. She seemed happy to be there. Justin seemed happy she was there. You fake smiled when you realized that you’d never get a chance to see Justin alone. But you smiled for real when Justin angrily shook Carlos’ proffered hand at the press conference. You thought for a split second that it was jealous rage that you saw in Justin’s eyes. That thought kept you warm in your bed alone that night.

One night you all went to a club, but watching Cameron and Justin kiss in the very VIP section from your place in the regular VIP section was not something you needed to see. So you left for the next, more exclusive club well ahead of the others. You were even escorted to the veryveryvery VIP section. You found out much later that Justin had added you to the guest list.

You were having an ok time being alone, until you looked up and saw Justin and his girlfriend. You told yourself you’d walk out on the count of twenty. At sixteen, Justin came walking toward you, his girlfriend happily talking to someone else.

“You following me?” Justin laughed.

“I’m going,” you said firmly.

“Wait, I wanted to ask you about this cool producer I’ve heard about.” Justin cleared his throat and walked away. You waited, and then he turned and gave you a look. You followed him. You knew you would.

Justin led you to a small, darkened alcove hidden away in the back of the already darkened room.

“Who’s this produc—” Justin started kissing you before you could take a breath. You pulled away instantly out of habit. “Justin!”

“No one can see us,” he whispered as he sucked on your ear. You looked over his shoulder. You were alone—just barely. Twenty feet away, you could see people milling about. This was dangerous.

“J, what are you doing?”

“Haven’t seen you since…that night,” Justin cooed. “We never got to talk about it.”

“What’s to talk about?” you snapped, because you could still hear and see Justin screaming I love you to his girlfriend. It wasn’t something you could easily forget.

“Oh.” Justin looked down for a second. Then he nodded and whispered, “I don’t really want to talk right now anyway.”

“Ok, but—” But he wouldn’t let you talk; he replaced your warnings and your frustrations and misgivings with his mouth, with his hands. He pressed you tightly into the corner as you kissed. As loud as the music was, you could still hear his heavy breathing. You kept trying to look over your shoulder, and he kept turning your face back to him, and kissing you so hard that you whimpered, loudly. He smiled and slid his hand between your bodies. You stopped looking over your shoulder. If you two got caught, surely it would be worth it, you thought as he moaned into your mouth.

You kissed maniacally, turned on by the threat of getting caught. You didn’t have room or time to do more than undo your shirts and pull your erections free so they could rub together as you grinded each other, standing up. Justin wrapped your leg around him and pressed you hard into the wall. It was happening too fast, but you couldn’t stop it if you wanted to. And there was no way you wanted to stop. He panted on your neck, like he was contemplating going down further. He ripped your shirt apart and greedily sucked your nipple. It felt so good you nearly bucked him off you. He came back up and kissed you again. He was speaking as he kissed you, but you couldn’t make out the words. You were too distracted by his mouth, his crotch, his heat, him. You opened up to him, trying to devour him. You thought maybe he was trying to devour you, too.

“Mmm…want you so badthhhh,” he moaned into your mouth. He put your hand on his cock, made you stoke him harder and faster. He looked at you with heavy eyes, and it was too much. “JC…oh, baby…want you.”

“I want you so much,” you whispered, and squeezed him. “I always do.” You smiled at him and kissed him tenderly, then pulled away and whispered, “I need you, J.” Justin looked at you with scared eyes, gasped, and came in your hand.

“Sorry,” he whispered, though he didn’t look too embarrassed that he finished so fast. “I just…it’s been so long. I needed it.” Justin rubbed his nose against yours, and then looked you in the eye. “I needed you, C. You.” He leaned in to kiss you, but you stopped him with your hand. He watched you, mouth agape, as you licked his semen from your fingers. He smiled and then kissed you until he was tasting himself as much as you were tasting him.

“You’re so damn hot,” Justin said, once he’d composed himself. “I couldn’t hold back. You’re too much.”

“Shut up,” you giggled.

“Mmm. Ok.” You started kissing again, and this time it was all about you. All the attention was to your neck, and your mouth, and your cock. Justin had you practically off your feet, your legs clamping to his, as he jerked you off. You thought you might cry, it was so good.

“Justin?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Justin, I need to…oh…Justin,” you gasped, almost there.

“Yeah…say it,” he demanded. “Say my name!”

“Justin! Where’s Justin?” It wasn’t your voice.

“Damn it,” he snapped as he pulled away from you. You stood there in a daze and watched him zip up and button his shirt. You backed up and let the shadow swallow you as Justin rushed to meet Cameron just as she was about to find you out.

“I thought I lost you,” she giggled as she straightened his collar.

“Nah, I was just…dancing up a sweat as usual.” You held your breath as you watched them walk away. For a second you considered screaming so she’d look at you, your kissed-raw lips, your torn shirt, and your rock hard cock hanging out of your pants. You imagined her slapping Justin, and then laughing that she always knew you two belonged together. You watched Justin pull her into a slow dance to a fast song. Just for a few seconds, you let yourself imagine Justin dancing with you in a crowded room. Then Justin kissed her on the shoulder, and your fantasy was over. You tucked your softening cock into your pants and slipped out the back door.

“Hello?”

“I’m sorry to call so late, C.”

“Justin? Speak up, I can barely hear you.”

“I can’t, I’m sorry.” You sighed and looked at your watch. 3:30 am. The five of you had a band meeting the next day.

“Justin, what’s wrong?”

“I just…I wanted to say—”

“What? I can’t hear you, J!”

“I can’t—I’m in the bathroom. She’s asleep.” You gritted your teeth, the way you did 2 hours earlier when you were forced to make yourself come. “I’m sorry we were interrupted, C.”

“Mmm.”

“Where did you go? I was looking for you.”

“I came back to my hotel room, of course,” you semi-snapped.

Justin was silent for a second, until he whispered, “Alone?”

“Why do you need to know that?”

“Because…because you really wanted me tonight,” Justin cooed. His voice made your stomach flutter, and you hated yourself for that. “You should have been with me, not off fucking someone else.”

“Don’t, J.”

“Did you take home a guy tonight?”

“Is it any of your business what I do with my cock?”

“Yes! I told you that I don’t want you fucking other guys!”

“You’ve got to be kidding! You’re whispering so your damn girlfriend doesn’t find out that you fuck guys!” you bellowed into the phone, hoping to God that she overheard.

“Shh! Not guys,” Justin snapped. “Just…just you.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Um.” Justin sighed. You could hear him scratching his head. “Well…yes.”

“Fuck you,” you said, and then hung up the phone.

The next morning Justin informed you, Chris, Lance, and Joey that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be part of another Nsync album…ever. Stunned, you got up and left the band meeting without a word.

~~*~~

Justin left you a message on your birthday. It was short, and you could hear Cameron in the background. It left you sad at first, until you played it again, turned up the volume, and heard Justin quietly murmur, “Have a great day. Bye. Love you.” Justin used to say he loved you all the time, when he was in his teens, way before you two started doing this. Now you can’t remember the last time he said it to you. Sure, it’s not the same kind of love he feels for his girlfriend, but just hearing it made you smile anyway.

~~*~~

<<<CHAPTER TWO