Ai No Corrida

By Zaen

CHAPTER FIVE

 

            You weren’t prepared for the night that your current girlfriend met your not so current…whatever Justin was to you.  You were out having a drink, having a good time in public for a change, when you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.  You turned to see Lance and Justin walking toward you.  They looked tense.  You felt tense.  She was ecstatic.

            “Hey, Lance,” she said with a kiss to his cheek.  Lance smiled at you and cleared his throat.  She flipped her hair and looked up at Justin expectantly.

            JustinthisisEva,” both you and Lance blurted out.  You held your breath, but Justin’s stern look melted away as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

            “Nice to finally meet you,” Justin said softly.  He had on his fake smile, but you saw him so infrequently that you weren’t certain which smiles were which anymore.

            “You, too, Justin.  Any friend of JC’s is a friend of mine,” Eva said with a wide grin.  Justin nodded, cocked his head, and offered to buy your girlfriend another drink.  You watched them walk away, and finally exhaled.

            “Well, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Lance laughed.  You shrugged and slurped up the rest of your drink.  “I ran into him a few minutes ago.  Cameron must be out of town or something.”

            Mmm.”

            “He said there’s a party at whatshername’s house later,” Lance said plainly.  You nodded like you understood, but you were staring at Justin talking to the woman you were sleeping with, so you didn’t care which whatshername it was this time.  “I guess Justin’s trying to be nice to us peons.  I mean, it’s still weird with him, but…I don’t know.  Sounds like a good party.  Wanna go?”

            “Um?”  Eva caught your eye and waved.  Justin caught your eye and licked his lips.  “Yeah, ok, why not?”

 

            Not ten minutes after you got to whatshername’s A-list party, you found yourself in a bathroom, leaning against a $2000 blown glass pedestal sink, your pants down around your ankles, Justin sucking you until you were so hard you thought your cock would break in half.

            “Remember your promise,” Justin had whispered when you all had left the bar.  “The next time we see each other.”  You’d swallowed and let your girlfriend pull you to your car.

 

            “Oh…Justin…shit.  Someone’s gonna hear us.”

            Justin let your weeping cock slip from his mouth and went for his belt.  “Good.”

 

            “But we don’t have anything,” you warned even as you ripped his pants down.

            “I don’t care,” he kept saying as he kissed you and pulled you down on top of him.  “Do it, JC.  C’mon.  Fuck me.”  Justin spread his legs and veiled your destination with his fingertips.  “Fuck me, JC.  Please.”

            After a clumsy rush through the medicine cabinet, you found some lotion that looked ok in a pinch.  You only needed to use a bit of it after you rimmed Justin to one orgasm, wet your fingers with his semen, and fingerfucked him hard across the linoleum.  Justin started groaning loudly for your cock.  You’d been in the bathroom less than ten minutes.

            “You have condoms?” Justin groaned as you stretched him with lotion-slick fingers.

            “Um…no.”

            “Fucking liar,” he hissed with a smile.  You smiled back and heaved his legs over your shoulders.  “Good…good…yes,” he cried into your mouth when you slid inside him.  Nothin’ between us now, JC.  Nothing.”

            Nothin’, baby.”

 

            At least you were trying to be quiet.  You weren’t so sure about Justin.  He was moaning loudly from the beginning.  You tried quieting him with your mouth, but his kisses only made you moan louder.  It had been too long since you’d been inside him, and you were losing control quickly.  Just when you thought you might enjoy losing control only 10 feet and one door away from hundreds of people, there was a knock on the door.

            “JC, honey, are you in there?”  You tried to freeze, but Justin kept pulling you into him, kept pulling you down on top of him.  “Has anyone in there seen a gorgeous 5 foot 11 inch brunette?”

            You tryin to squeeze an inch in on your girlfriend?” Justin grunted against your neck.  You tried to shush him, but the only way to keep him quiet, it seemed, was to kiss him.  You almost forgot about Eva at the door, until you heard the doorknob jiggling.

            Fffcck!” you grunted into Justin’s mouth.

            Shhh.  Hold still, baby.”  You were shivering, from fear that you’d be caught and your lives would be changed forever.  And you were shivering from desperate longing to be caught and have your lives changed forever.

            “Is anyone in there?  Jace?” she singsonged.  Justin smiled at you and squeezed you with his body.  You had to bury your face in his shoulder to smother a groan.

            “Stop it, J,” you hissed, but you weren’t stopping either.  The doorknob jiggled again.  Justin licked your lips.

            “Shall we invite her in?”

            “J!”

            “Want me to call her?” Justin whispered as he writhed underneath you.  “I want her to see.”

            “Justin, don’t—”

            “I want her to see you inside me.”  Justin opened his mouth, but instead of calling out, he closed his eyes and leaned back, letting go a silent growl.  You forgot your girlfriend at the door, bent Justin in half, and fucked him until you both came, panting and swallowing each other’s names.

            You cleaned up, you dressed each other, and you calmed down.  Then you remembered the door.  Justin snuck out first, and seemed genuinely disappointed that no one was there to discover you two.

            You caught up with Eva later.  She was happy, like she was when you got there.  She had no idea, and you discovered you were a little disappointed yourself.

            You waited, and let your girlfriend hang all over you, as she was wont to do since you two got together.  It made you a little uncomfortable, especially with Justin eyeing you from seemingly every corner of every room in the house.

 

            You were nearly out the door, Eva hanging on you and chatting with people at the same time, when Justin slithered up behind you.

            “Did you have a good time?” he hissed loudly in your ear.  Before you could answer, Eva turned into you and kissed you on the corner of your mouth.

            “We had a great time,” she answered for you.  Justin’s eyes went wide for a split second, and then he cocked his head and gave her his best, fakest smile.  You swallowed and prayed Lance would come to your rescue immediately.

            “I’m glad to hear that,” Justin cooed.  He rubbed the small of your back and snickered, “I’m glad to hear that JC has someone in his life.  He can be so…I don’t know…secretive sometimes.”

            “Justin?” you hissed.

            “You know, I’ve noticed that myself,” Eva said matter-of-factly.

            “I’m sure you have.”  Justin’s hand slid down just to touch the top of your pants.  “It’s good that he’ll be, uh, grounded now.  Otherwise he’s bound to just go off by himself…doing God knows what,” Justin said with saccharine sincerity.  With God knows whom.”

            “Really?”

            Mmm.  I guess it’s a sign of maturity that JC can…commit to just one person—”

            “Really funny, J,” you laughed, hoping that would be the end of it.

            “I’m just saying that…that…JC is…um…private.”  Justin nodded proudly and slipped his hand down to just touch the top of your ass.  You shivered.

            “I know,” Eva squeaked happily.  “That’s one of the things I love about him!”

            “Me, too.”  Justin said it so softly you weren’t sure he said it at all.

            “Um, I think we should go now, hon,” you said to Eva.  Justin’s eyes narrowed at the end of that sentence.

            M’kay, lover.”  Eva wrapped her arm around you, just barely missing Justin’s hand retracting quickly from the back of your pants.  “It was really nice to meet you, Justin.  I hope we’ll get to hang out soon!”

            “I hope so, too.  I never get to see JC anymore.”  Justin smiled wickedly at Eva rubbing your stomach.  “He’s always so busy with all his friends and…people he knows.”  Your throat went dry.  You coughed to cover up Justin saying, “I barely got to see him tonight.  I was looking for you a while ago, Jace.”  You froze, eyes on the ground.  “I was looking all over for ya, and then I lost you near that back bathroom—”

            “What did you say?” Eva asked over the sudden swell of noise—you humming to the party music.

            “JC’s always disappearing, aren’t ya, C?”  Justin smiled, but his eyes were hard.  “You never know when he’s going to find someone—I mean, something new to, uh, be into.  Right, JC?”

            “Come again?” she asked, but you could tell by her face that she heard every word.

            “Nothing.  I’m sure you’ll find out all of JC’s little secrets soon enough.”  The bite in his voice dumfounded you. 

            “Yeah, I guess,” she said sarcastically.  She turned to wave at another flavor of the month, her attention averted momentarily.  “Hey, girl!”

            “You hurt him and I’ll hurt you,” Justin mumbled.  You could hardly believe he’d said it.  If you hadn’t seen his lips move, you wouldn’t have believed it.

            “Did you say something else, Justin?” Eva retorted, eyes narrowed in annoyance.  Justin shrugged innocently, and then they both looked at you.  You felt proud and disgusted at the same time.

            “Let’s go, baby,” Eva sighed as she shook her head dismissively, and Justin leaned against the wall as he bid you goodnight.  You gave Justin a withering look and let your girlfriend pull you away. 

            You got angry later, after she started asking about Justin’s behavior, and you had to fuck her brains out just to make her forget.  You’d never be that reckless with Cameron, you told yourself.  You’d never go out of your way to fuck up Justin’s relationship…his life.  Remembering Justin’s flippant words made you angrier with him.  Remembering his body underneath you, his hands reaching for you, and his voice quietly screaming your name made you miss him all over again.  You fell asleep feeling more confused than ever.

 

~~*~~

 

            Your time in London was well spent.  You worked with some tried and true producers and a few up and coming ones.  Four written, rehearsed, recorded, but unmixed songs came out of your trip.  It probably would have been 6, if thoughts of Justin hadn’t been preoccupying you.  You’d heard he was filming his second movie, and his girlfriend was almost always at his side.  You hadn’t called him in weeks—you were still officially mad at him for trying to mess with Eva.  You weren’t too mad to take out the CD he’d sent you weeks ago and slip it into your Discman at 40,000 feet above the Atlantic.

            Once the flight attendant replaced your meal tray with a pillow and blanket, you sat back, relaxed, and pushed play.  You recognized the music instantly.  It was the mellow, bass-heavy instrumental track Justin pretended to want your opinion on.  You nodded in time to the music and waited, but it kept on keeping on.  It was pretty nondescript, like background music.  You sighed and pushed your seat back into a reclining position.  Between Justin’s mellow music and your book, you figured you might get in a little sleep.  You weren’t reading Gender, Pop Culture, and Alternative Sexualities for 10 seconds before Justin’s voice came on the CD, and you knew you’d figured wrong.

            “Listen…listen…listen…”

            You smiled and closed your book.

            “Remember this day, Jace?”  Justin’s voice was soft, a bit whimsical.  You could hear him smiling as he spoke.  “You were so good.  I wonder what you’re doing right now, C.  I wonder where you are.”  You pulled the blanket over you and snuggled down further in your seat, your legs open just the slightest bit.  “Listen to us, C.  This is you and me…this is us.”

            You bit your lip as you listened…

 

            J…what are you doing?

            Mmm…you said we’d be alone.

            But…but…oh.

 

            The music mixed well with the smacking sounds of Justin going down on you.

            And with your sighs and pleas as Justin entered your body.

 

            You’re so delicious, baby.  So…so hungry for you, C.  You…oh, God.

            Even a recording of Justin’s voice could grab your attention.

 

            MMm…shit.  Aw…that’s…so good.  Justin…don’t stop.

            Never, C.

            Ooohhhhh…oh…

            Ahhh…God, you’re so hot inside.

            Insiiiiiiiiide

            Insiiiiide…yes.

            You almost laughed aloud.  You’d forgotten how you two had “sung” to each other along with the music, harmonizing and rhyming and vocalizing lazily as you made love.  This was the first time you’d ever heard what you two sounded like fucking, music or no.  Something about it seemed familiar, like the discarded recordings you two used to make years ago, when no one else was around.  Back then it was all Girl I love you and Yeaaaaahhh, girrrrrl.  Now it was Fuck me and Don’t stop and I need you and Yeaaaah, baby.  You shivered when you realized that you didn’t sound so different from back then after all.

            You taste so good…feel so good, JC…

Missed this so much, Jus…

You crossed your legs.

            You’re so tight…you’ve been savin’ it for me, haven’t you baby?

Always for you, J…Always…

            You squeezed your legs together.

            Aw, C…needed you like this.

            Been so long.

            I’ve got to…ohhh

            Yes…Justin…love you inside me…

            “God, listening to us makes me sooooo hot, JC,” Justin said over the sound of your lovemaking.  You whimpered and recrossed your legs, but it was no use.  You were achingly hard.

           

            In the background you could still hear your sex-music recording, but now your attention was firmly placed on Justin’s voice in the foreground.  He was talking to you as he listened.  You swallowed a pathetic whimper.

            Damn, it’s so hot hearing us making love,” he groaned, and you couldn’t agree more.  “Do you like listening to us, JC?”  You twisted as much as you could, trying to cross your leg over your erection.  “We sound so good together.  We always sound so good together, baby.  I wanted you so much that day.”  Justin stopped talking, and for a moment you were afraid that the CD was over.  Then you heard something like a jingle…a clink…a zipper.  You put your hand in your mouth to keep yourself quiet.  “I wanted you…I wanted you…I want you, JC.  Now.  I want you.”

            “Shit,” you peeped against the back of your hand.

            “I’m taking my clothes off, JC.”  You started to pant.  “I’m getting naked here, for you, JC.”  You turned the air on above your seat, full blast.  “I can’t help it, JC.  Listening to you, remembering what it was like to be inside you…I have to…mmm,” Justin growled, slightly garbled.  You knew that sound.  Justin was sucking on his fingers.  You fumbled with your bottle of water and nearly choked as you rushed to swallow.

            “JC.  JC.  Can you hear me, baby?  Can you hear me touching myself for you?”

            “Yes,” you whispered into your elbow.

            “Yeah, I bet you can.”  Justin breathed for a while, loudly, and it was like the phone sex that you two used to have all the time, before his girlfriend came along and dominated all his free time.  Soon the recording of you two making love faded down, and all you could hear was Justin sighing and the faintest slap of skin.  Mmmm…JC…I’m so…want you.  God.”  You heard movement; Justin must have been in the old recliner in his private den-cum-mini studio.  It squeaked when the sitter rocked against it.  You knew because you rode Justin on that chair many times…before she came along.  A few more squeaks, and then Justin giggled, “Mmm…JC.  I want you right now.  Listen to me…oh.  JC.  Honey?”

            “Uh-huh?” you barely groaned, like he could hear you.

            “JC.  Wanna listen to me fuck myself?”

            “Shit!”  You hoped no one heard you, and you hoped no one noticed you slip your hand down into your lap to cup yourself.

            “Oh, I gotta hear that again.”  More movement, and then your recording came on again.  “That’s better.  I want to hear us again.  You’re so sexy, man.”  You wanted more than anything to be there, with Justin, listening to your lovemaking, watching him react.  The only thing you could do was squeeze your eyes shut and wish your erection down.  But listening to Justin masturbate was only making you harder.

 

            “Yeah.  Ok  Ok.  That’s it, Jace.  Ok.  I’m almost…almost ready for you.”  You bit your lip.  Justin was bringing you in, making you feel like you were there, like it was you that was about to—

            “Oh!  JC!  God!  You’re…oh…oh…oh.  You’re filling me.  Baby.  I’m fucking myself for you,” Justin whispered.  It was all you could do to keep from unzipping and pulling your dick out.  You tried to take deep breaths, but it didn’t help.  Justin panted as he described what he was doing to himself…what you were doing to him.  He told you how wide his legs were.  He told you how deep his fingers were inside himself.  How deep you were.  You coughed and slipped your hand under your waistband.

 

            To the sounds of you two making love, Justin singsonged in your ear, “I’m so hot for you, baby.  I want you so bad.  Oh.”  You gave yourself a few tugs, but then someone walked past you, and you quickly stopped.  “I wish you were here.  I can remember every inch of you, everything you said, everything you did to me.”

            “J,” you whispered helplessly.

            “I can still taste you, JC.  You know…I miss your taste when we’re not together.”  You sighed uncontrollably.  He always knew how to get to you.  “Sometimes I…I wish I could just…bottle your taste, baby.  Yeah, I wish I could…oh…keep your taste.  Your essence.  Your …your semen.”  You took a quick look around, shoved the airline blanket down hard in your lap and unzipped in one fell swoop.  You bit your lip to keep from growling, and let your cock bounce forth so it rubbed against the folds of your clothes and the blanket.  “I wish I could just keep it with me, take it with me everywhere.  So when I want you and you’re not here, I could just put a little of you on my tongue.”

            “Oh.”  You turned toward the window and hoped no one, not even your faithful bodyguard seated behind you would figure out what was going on.  That the sound of Justin making love to himself with your name on his lips was driving you insane.  That you tried more than once to press your headphones completely inside your ears, so you could drown out everything but the whisper and the music and the smack of his lubed-up fingers.  That you were drooling from your mouth onto your chin, and from your meatus all over your pants.

            “Oh, baby.  Wish you were here now, Jace.  I need you so much, man.  You don’t even know, do you?  I need just a little piece…just a little bit of you with me always…always…always.”  You whimpered and pulsed your hips, just a little bit, just enough to get a good friction going between your crotch and your pants.  “I just need a piece of you, baby,” Justin cooed in your headphones, in your ear, in your head.  “Just when I need you.  So I can have a little bit of you whenever I need it.”  You squeezed yourself into as tight a ball as possible and listened to what you knew was coming.  You knew Justin’s cries of impending orgasm like you knew your own.  Oooohhh God, JC.  You don’t know how much I…oh…shit.  JC…you’re making me…you’re so deep inside me…oh Gooooooo…baby…I can’t take it.  I can’t take it.  JC.  JC.  JC!

            Oh.  Oh, sweetheart.  Thank you, baby.”

 

            Justin knew you so well.  He knew you’d listen to the whole CD, and that you’d react.  He knew you’d squirm in your seat and try to fight it.  And he knew you’d give in eventually and wrap yourself up in a ball and try to surreptitiously slip your hand down your pants.  What Justin probably hadn’t known was that his voice would get you so hot—so fast—that you’d come right there, in your pants, before you even could jerk off properly.  You were pretty quiet, and tried your best to disguise your moans as yawns when you came.  When you finally calmed down and opened your eyes, the cabin was quiet and still.  You thanked God for that and carefully tucked yourself back in.  You thought briefly of going to the bathroom and cleaning up, but a long nap sounded more appealing.

            Right before landing you shoved the damp-spotted airline blanket into your duffle bag and left the flight attendant a 300% tip for your drinks.

 

~~*~~

 

            For the first time you spent Thanksgiving with Chris and his family.  It was a refreshingly drama-free time, until you and Chris went to the porch for some whiskey, and he let slip that he knew everything.

            “What…what do you mean?” you stammered.

            “Please, C.  Justin and I haven’t spoken much since Joey’s wedding, but…I knew, even then.”

            “He told you?”

            “Nobody had to tell me,” Chris said.  “I know you, and I know him.  I could tell ever since you two got together four years ago.”

            “What?  J and I have only been togeth—I mean, we’ve only been doing…this…um, like, about two years.”

            Chris smirked at you.  “I didn’t say I’ve known since you two have been fucking.  I said I’ve known since you’ve been…together.”

            “But we—oh.”  You thought about how you and Justin were before you started having sex.  Before you two started fooling around.  In some ways, you two were closer when you were just friends.  “Justin and I are not…‘together.’”

            “Could have fooled me.”

            “He has a girlfriend,” you mumbled.

            “So do you.”

            “He thinks he’s straight.”

            “So do you, if those Pussymaster T-shirts and jeans you wear are any indication!”

            “Yeah, well.”  You smiled.  You really missed having Chris around.  “It’s just sex for Justin.”

            “And what about foryou, C?”  Chris looked at you sternly.  “You two both like to pretend like you’re not the romantic, flowers and chocolates type, but look at you!  You’ve been in a ‘relationship’ or whatever for years.  Your screwed up thing has outlasted both of your public relationships since you started, am I right?”

            “No, I…um.”  You counted back.  Eva, Cameron, Carlos, Alyssa, Tara, Jenna and all the others in between—Justin was the only one you’d stayed with in all that time.  He was the only constant.  And he was the only one you never had completely to yourself.

            “If you want to be together, then tell him, C.”

            “It’s not like…we’re not…we see other…I mean—”

            “Whatever, JC.  Just, just do something about this.  It’s annoying as hell, and I want my best friend back.  Watching you two go back and forth is like watching a bullfight, man.  And I hate bullfights!”

            “I know, Chris.”  You sipped your drink and sighed.  “Can we drop this, and go have some sweet potato pie?”

            “Yes, please!” 

 

            Once the holidays were in full swing you really, really started to miss him.  Despite near constant attention from your girlfriend, you were starting to feel restless.  You hadn’t talked to Justin in weeks.  You’d started checking your email daily, just in case.  You’d even taken to listening to the CD he sent you, just to hear his voice.  You spent New Year’s Eve with your girlfriend on your lap, hoping your cell phone would vibrate and you could slip away, just for a minute, just to talk to him.  Waiting for a call that never came totally ruined your evening.

 

~~*~~

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Copyright October 25, 2005