-Your friends write on your notebook "1-800IMAHELPLESSMUSICDORK"
-You outguess the guys on Face the Music
-You use the word "Wagnerian" to describe someone's sex life.
-You can't work because you are too interested in the Shostakovich chamber music to concentrate.
-Pitch class hunting is "fun."
-You buy CDs of Ockeghem, Schubert, and Barber in the same outing.
-You enjoy Brahms lieder.
-You complain when the radio plays Bach's Orchestral Suite #3 because you've heard it too often, but you can't bear to turn it off once it gets started..
-You recognize pianists on the radio.
-Your license plate is "cembalo" or "sonota" or something like.
-You catch yourself saying "real Classical music is fun because you can whistle along having never heard it before."
-You refer to Jascha Heifetz as "da bomb"
-I-bII-V-I is "so old school"
-You have ever picked the lock on a filing cabinet to get to sheet music
-You spend hours analyzing different performances of a ten minute showpiece.
-You "have come to the conclusion that Claudio Arrau did not make enough recordings."
-You read composers' letters for fun.
-In the original
-AND you have your own theories about the "pink drawers" mentioned in Wagner's letter to Marie Volkel.
-You write parodies of 'reality tv' with classical musicians
-You make "Itzhak Perlman emoticons" 8:-)
-Nuages Gris is a really cool piece.
-You've heard all the psychosexual theories about Schubert, Beethoven, Mussorgsky, Leonin, and now Handel. And of course Beethoven was not gay, but Schubert is questionable.
-You read "Deduct Ostrich" and see "David Oistrakh"
-Some Bruckner symphony movements are "Too short."
-Tchaikovsky is a 'bad composer' but you like him anyway.
-You have a Erard keyboard desktop on the computer
-You've compared Weezer to Schubert "but it lacks the subtletly"
-Your topics for research can easily change from "Politics and Music in 1880s Vienna" to "Rhetoric and Expressivity in mid-17th century German Keyboard Music."
-The Composer Name Game is boring because you already know all the names.
-You refer to composers by their first names.
-You also find yourself engaged in discussions of which classical composers are "hotties."
-You catch a cold and refer to coughing spells as "my Romantic consumptive fits"
-You've drawn plenty of cartoons involving musicians and/or composers.
Sayings you "understand":
-"That book was on the repertoire... uh.. book list"
-"I like Dostoevsky, but I haven't read a lot of other Russian composers."
-"It was a tree, three octaves high"
-"I read at too slow a tempo to finish this book tonight"
-"Wait for me. I have to Bruch my hair."