Mr. Weed: Peter, you're fired! Peter: Awww, for how long?
Smurf 1: Hey, ya have a good time last night? Smurf 2: Smurf-tactular! Smurf 1: Yeah I saw you leave with Smurfett. Smurf 2: All man - as soon as we got out of the bar, she started smurfin' me. Smurf 1: Shut the smurf up! Smurf 2: Yeah. Smurf 1: Right in the smurfin' parking lot? Smurf 2: Smurf yeah! Smurf 1: Oh that is freakin' smurf! Smurf 2: You smurf it! Smurf 1: That is freakin' smurf. Smurf 2: Yeah.
Peter: Gays don't vomit, they're a very clean people - and have been that way since they came to this country from France.
Chris: Dad, what's the blowhole for? Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.
Female IRS Agent: Don't worry Mr. Griffin, the IRS is much kinder and gentler than it used to be. You smell nice. Peter: Oh, that must be you. IRS Agent: Oh that couldn't be me, I just farted.
Bob Dole:Bob Dole is a friend of the tobacco industry. Bob Dole likes your style. Bob Dole.Bob Dole.Bob Dole!Bob Dole...(repeats until he falls asleep)
The Bill from "School House Rock": The call me Bill, yes they call me Bill, and I'm standing here on capital ahhhh! (Stabbed by garbage poker and put into a trash bag)
Quagmire (Running out into the street): Hey, what's all the ruckus out here? I was just jerk-----ed out of sleep.
Max Weinstein: How did you know I was an accountant? Peter: Hellllo...WeinSTEIN!!!
Brian:What the hell? Stewie:NOW IS THE WINTER OF YOUR DISCONTENT!
Peter: Yeah, I'll take three cheeseburgers... Lois: Peter, for God's sake, she's having a baby! Peter: Oh yeah, and a kids meal. -Peteer453@lycos.com
Lois: Oh my God Peter! You can only play the piano when you're drunk. Peter: I can also vomit, fall down, and make dirty calls to your sister. -amber55a@aol.com
