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| Classified ads The following were actually taken from classified newspaper ads: Free Yorkshire Terrier: Eight years old. Hateful little dog. Free puppies: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 Sneaky neighbour's dog Free puppies: Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog Found: Dirty white dog. Looks like a rat... been out awhile... better be reward. One-man, seven-woman hot tub - $850/offer Snowblower for sale. Only used on snowy days. Two wire mesh butchering gloves: One five-finger, one three-finger, pair: $15 Tickle-me Elmo (still in box). Comes with its own 1988 Mustang, 5L, auto, excellent condition $6,800 Cows for sale. Never bred calves. Also one gay bull for sale. Full-sized mattress. 20 yr. warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell. Nordic track $300 Hardly used. call Chubby. Bill's septic cleaning 'We haul American-made products' Hummels - largest selection ever 'If it's in stock, we have it!' Harrisburg Postal Employees' Gun Club Georgia peaches: California grown - 89 cents/lb. Nice parachute: Never opened - used once Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour. Exercise equipment: Queen size mattress & box springs - $175 Our sofa will seat the whole mob. 100% Italian leather. Joining nudist colony! Selling washer & dryer $300 Alzheimer’s Center prepares for 'An Affair to Remember' Open House Body shapers toning salon - Free coffee & donuts And now for the best of the lot: For sale by owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 negotiable. No longer needed. Recently married; wife knows everything. |