"When someone says 'How do you do,' just say that you didn't."
- Eeyore, from Winnie-the-Pooh
"If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue."
- Sears Catalogue
"The grass may look greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed."
- An Observant Person
"An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less."
- Nicholas Murray
"Life is lived forwards but understood backwards."
- Soren Kerkegaard
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-."
- General John Sedwick's last words, uttered during a U.S. Civil War battle, 1864
"A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece."
- Ludwig Erhard
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