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| Horse Sales Terminology Translated BIG TROT: can't canter within a two mile straight-away. NICELY STARTED: lunges, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet. TOP SHOW HORSE: won a reserve champion 5 years ago at a show with unusually low entries due to tornado warnings. HOME BRED: knows nothing despite being raised on the back porch. BIG BONED: good thing he has a mane and tail, or he would be mistaken for a cow. NO VICES: especially when he wears his muzzle. BOLD: runaway. GOOD MOVER: runaway. ATHLETIC: runaway. NEEDS INTERMEDIATE RIDER: runaway. SHOULD MATURE OVER 16 HANDS: currently 14 hands, dam is 14.2, sire is 15.3 hands, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 16 hands, but *this* horse will defy his DNA and grow. WELL MANNERED: hasn't stepped on, run over, bit, or kicked anyone for a week. PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED: hasn't stepped on, run over, bit, or kicked anyone for a month. RECENTLY VETTED: someone else found something really wrong with this horse. TO GOOD HOME ONLY: not really for sale unless you can 1) Pay twice what he is worth 2) Are willing to sign a 10 page legal document to allow current owner to tuck him in beddy-bye every night. EXCELLENT DISPOSITION: never been out of the stall. CLIPS, HAULS, LOADS: clippity clippity is the sound of his hooves make as he hauls butt across the parking lot when you try to load him. FOR SALE DUE TO LACK OF TIME: rider cannot afford to spend anymore time in the hospital. QUIET: dead (almost). SPIRITED: psychotic. WELL BRED: mother and father are also brother and sister! COLOR IS BLACK: brown and/or dirty. ANY VET CHECK WELCOME: Please pay for us to find out what the is wrong with him! SUITS EVENTING: no brakes. SUITS DRESSAGE: no accelerator. SUITS ANYONE: except us, we hate him! |