I was so protective of my baby. I thought I did everything right. I knew right away I was pregnant, before I even took the first test. I felt so close to her and I was so happy. I know she was a girl, some people think thats crazy of me, and I can't expain how I know, but I do. Those short six weeks I had her with me, she was like my savior. She was the proof that everything was going to be OK....or so I thought. Now I know nothing will ever be "OK" again. I will never "get over" the loss of my precious angel and although I may be able to move on, my life will never be the same again. I've begun not to really expect anything, or to dream. It's so much easier than being hurt. Anticipation is only a thing I have experienced in the past, why anticipate when nothing is ever guaranteed? I hate that this has happened to me, that this is who I have become. But it has, and I am and so, along with everything else, I must deal with it and accept that I am not and never will be the person I was before October 8, 1998, the day I lost my daughter.

I love you Dominique and although we must be apart for now, we will be together eventually...I promise. All I ask of you is that you look down on me once in a while and when I get to Heaven you will remember me and call me Mommy. I love you xoxoxoxo