Let Us Be Your Webmaster...

Easy terms, no money, only a portion of your soul. We guarantee that anybody who enters the Web Site we write for you will be permanently ensnared. Our web-spinning specialists have hundreds of years of experience in this art (not just on the Internet ¶¶¶). We do custom-designed web snares for people with a statement to make (especially if it is along the lines "I'm right and everybody else is wrong"). But for beginners and amateurs, there are three basic styles on our economy plan:
  1. Plain text, no graphics: We will twist your words to make your site irresistible.
  2. All graphics, no text: Some great fractals that will mesmerize anyone, permanently.
  3. No text, no graphics: Our great bottomless abyss, winner of the Microsoft Void Award
    (the coveted Rotten Apple). Talk about Black Holes...

NOTE: Everything we supply is guaranteed to be Year 3000 Compliant.


Click here for some specialty items

Contact us for information about customized Web Pages based on your own tastes. We specialize in Necrophilia, Body Piercing, Wounds without Cause, and Evil Aims (no project too evil that it cannot be improved by our expert staff). Animal torture, Wall Street plundering, pedophi--- Hold it hold it hold it!!! Don't let these guys (guys? FIENDS!) suck you in. They have nothing to do with this Web Page. They were able to blackmail their presence onto this site by threatening to dredge up the fact that I threw up on H----- C----- many years ago in a motel room in Monteagle, Tennessee.
....Wait, guys, I was just kidding... no no no... Aargh........

You will now click on ENROLL, nicht wahr?



We are really very jolly and humorous souls at heart, much maligned by writers of tawdry fiction, and so we are doing this almost as a public service... When we succeed in taking over the World Wide Web, things will be different. Why not enlist with us now and avoid aggravation later?


You might have noticed some UNUSUAL activity on your STATUS BAR -- don't worry, we are just uploading your hard drive for customer profiling and then 'ghosting' your whole system -- your C-drive was not reformatted this time! (We are in a good mood today.)































That was easy, wasn't it? You just sold your soul with the click of a mouse, ha, ha, ha! But do not worry, my friend. We will not be doing any collections in the near future. We are powerless until the deaths of those arch-fiends Pope John Paul II, the Dalai Lama, Margaret Thatcher, and Ronald Reagan. That's cool, we don't mind waiting....

If you really want your own Web Page while awaiting the end of the world as you know it, contact our agent Caelius, who will forward the necessary information. Be sure to specify your blood group (type AB negatives need not apply, as Mr N. is allergic; type B is not that tasty, either, but Rhesus Positive is like chocolate syrup. Mr C. is not that particular, as long as it's salty enough).

Click here for some of our other deals.

One of our customers would like to plug his Web Page about Hot Pepper Sauces. Happy to oblige:
~~ HOT SAUCES ~~