UPPQUHARK CASTLE (Upchuck Lodge)
Another Guichardo Marshmount Folly
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History of the Castle
Guichardo Marshmount (q.v.)
won 10,000 pounds in a French casino in 1873 and decided to build a hunting lodge in Scotland since that was the fashion then among his friends and he wanted to reciprocate their hospitality during the Scottish hunting/fishing season. He found a derelict castle known as Uppquhark ("upwork") near Inverness that had a fishing stream and about 100 acres of heath and woodland, with deer, that was going very cheaply because the current owner, an Edinburgh lawyer, was under indictment for fraud.
The original castle was a simple 4-story tower house built on a craggy outcrop overlooking the
Cromarty Firth between Dingwall and Evanton. It was at first the holding of one Alexander
MacUpp, a Hebridean who had married into the Clan Munro and was given these lands by Hector
Munro of Foulis in 1589 (he seems to have been involved in the infamous witchcraft scandal whereby
Hector prevailed upon some local witches and warlocks to cast off his terminal illness onto his younger brother; in any case, Alexander, like Hector, was acquitted in court and did not suffer the dire fate of
his fellow witch-doctors, including Marian McIngarrath who was burned at the stake). Apart from its
founding, little else is known of the castle, and the estate appears to have fallen on hard times within
the next 200 years, although it did survive relatively intact until the late 1700s. Needless to say, the
castle had an evil reputation in the area and was reputed to be the haunt of devils. It is very near the
famous Black Rock Ravine, and has spectacular views over the Firth and Black Isle. The castle was
closed up in 1915 until the present, with brief periods of rental between the wars. There are now plans
to open it to the public for summer recreational purposes. (At one point there was talk of creating a
'highland castle' theme park, but the castle is just too small for that.)
Entrance to the estate is from a graded road from the main highway. There is a fairly large (4-bedroom)
'lodge' down here, which served as accommodation for guests, since there was only one bedroom in the
castle itself (Guichardo's). A small farmhouse is also located here, because some of the grounds were farmed
in the past -- mainly sheep, but also about five acres of vegetable fields, potatos and cabbage and a few turnips. The latter house is
now the "Eldritch Woman" public house, which has in recent years become a well-known local bar for darts
and Celtic music. Jamie 'Doctrine' Munro, who is the caretaker of the castle, is also the publican.
Total modernization of the castle has just been undertaken by the Marshmount Estate Trust Ltd. under
the aegis of the new legal owner, Seth Guichardo Pottlebury, and is expected to be
completed in the Spring of 1998.
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Description of the House
The castle as reconstructed by Guichardo Marshmount consists of Alexander MacUpp's tower house, with an
added wing in the Scotch Baronial Style containing a 'great hall' and a kitchen at right angles to it. The original well in the courtyard
has been dug out of the bedrock with great labor and care -- its water is exceptionally pure, though stained a deep peat color.
This is all contained within the thin curtain wall of the old 'barmkin' (except where Guichardo extended his
new wing beyond the original area), which measures less than 60 feet in any
direction because of the limitation of level space within the site. A small single-room gatehouse was built
over the entrance to house the permanent caretaker. (When he built the gate tower projecting into part of the dry
ditch, Guichardo constructed a 'classic' Scottish pit prison under the guardroom -- presumably a joke, because there
is a waxwork prisoner incarcerated therein. This macabre scene can be observed by raising a wooden trap door.) Note that the
barmkin wall has no parapet walk, although it is 3 feet thick and 16 feet high. In spite of its natural protection on
three sides, the castle was never really defensible, as it is overlooked on the north by a trackway over the lower
slopes of Ben Wyvis.
The Great Hall measures 36 by 16 feet and rises the full two stories of the wing's height; apart from a very
large fireplace, a decent collection of swords and claymores, and several deer, elk, and moose antlers
affixed to the walls (in typical Victorian Scottish fashion), the only items of note are the stained-glass window, designed by Guichardo himself, of Alexander MacUpp and Marian McIngarrath meeting with the
Devil, and some very large stuffed birds of all sorts in glass cases. The right angle of the wing contains
the kitchen and pantry on its lower floor, and two bedrooms for servants on the upper. Across the courtyard,
next to the small gatehouse, is a three-room lean-to shed against the curtain wall serving for storage and limited
stabling. There is a wine cellar under the kitchen side of the great hall, and additional cellarage under the
kitchen (by extending this wing beyond the area of the crag, it was necessary to build down the slope, so there
was room for an understory at the southeast angle). The dais end of the hall, by the stained-glass window, contains a doorway (not original) cut into
the ground floor of the tower house, and a short passage to a privy built into an external turret. The kitchen
wing contains a similar turret, and these provide the only 'flanking' cover to the two straight sides of the
barmkin. The gatehouse covers the angular north front, which has a rock-cut dry ditch facing rising ground and crossed by a stone bridge (Guichardo replaced a wooden one); the irregular west side overlooks a deep chasm. On the east side is the valley of a small stream, known as Tollach Burn. To the south,
a steep heathy slope runs down to the A9 highway to Wick and to the shore of the Firth.
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The Pele Tower
Architecturally, the most interesting part of the castle is the tower house, or 'pele tower' as it could be
called, since it is not a large structure even compared to other buildings described as tower houses. It is
basically a rectangle 24 by 32 feet, with four stories, only the lower having a stone vault. A spiral staircase in one corner (facing the courtyard and adjoining the great hall wing) rises the full height to a cap house opening onto a corbelled parapet walk overlooking the entrance. There are two 'candle-snuffer' round turrets -- not original, but added during the reconstruction -- on the west side overlooking the cliff. The masonry of the old building was of remarkable quality, compared with the rubble construction of the barmkin; the
squared ashlar seems to have come from the ruins of the bishop's summer palace at Nigg.
The ground floor was originally a cellar reachable only from the spiral stair; it now connects to the Hall and
was used as a billiard room. An external flight of stairs rises from the courtyard to the main entrance, which
entered into the principal 'hall' room of the tower. This has two nice benched window recesses (facing west
and south) with single lancets. There is a simple fireplace on the east side, beside which is an old arrow
slit that now overlooks the interior of the great hall; there is also a wall passage to the garderobe turret
mentioned in the description of the hall wing. The second floor was the laird's private chamber, or solar. It
contains windows similar to the ones below, but with two lights. A single-light window, with a murder hole in its floor, overlooks the first floor entry. In the garderobe turret on this floor was the castle's only full 'bathroom', built when Guichardo
enlarged the original projection (which was flush with the east wall of the tower house).
The fireplace is particularly fine, with detailed Gothic carving -- it was probably looted from the Bishop's Palace at nearby Nigg. Finally, the top, or garret, floor under the roof was originally for the garrison, but was converted into Guichardo Marshmount's master bedroom, with three dormer windows added, and the round turrets. Apart from the two
servants' rooms, this is the only accommodation in the castle itself. Guests would have stayed in the lodge house down the drive at the entrance to the estate. During its service as a rented summer house, the castle's two bedrooms over the kitchen wing were modernized as guest rooms; another bathroom was
created in that wing's turret over the pantry.
Guichardo highly valued his privacy -- for good reason, when one considers that his bedroom/study
at the top of the castle was used for necromantic studies (of which we know very little). All that remains of this are some Cabalistic wall paintings and a pentagram inset into the floor in teak and
walnut mosaics. The executors removed all his books and paraphernalia to Marshmount Castle in
1915. One final note: the top floor of the garderobe turret was fitted out as a small observation room,
with spectacular views over the Firth and Black Isle to the Moray Firth and the North Sea.
All in all, Guichardo Marshmount's 10,000 pounds were soon exhausted on this project (there were plans
for further expansion down the slope), and he seems to have lost interest in the place after half a dozen
grouse seasons -- by then he was planning the Folly at Marshmount Castle. He did, however, continue to
visit sporadically up until his disappearance in 1913. The nickname 'Upchuck Lodge' was coined by one of
Guichardo's few visitors (it is not known by whom, but it is likely it was an American), and stuck -- Guichardo himself ended up calling it that.
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PLAN OF THE CASTLE
A = Gatehouse (prison under)
B = Lean-to
C = Kitchen
D = Pantry (bathroom over)
E = Well
F = Porch
G = Billiard Room
H = Garderobe Tower
I = Stained-glass Window
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Inscription Carved Over the Porch to the Great Hall:
"Timor Mortis Conturbat Me"
(Dunbar)
Grand Opening Spring 1998!!!
The southeast corner of the great hall collapsed in 1963 owing to subsidence in the soil. A large concrete
buttress was built afterward to mend the damage. There are plans to replace this excrescence with a small tower containing more bedrooms, not only to increase accommodation but to add balance to the
castle's profile. This will undoubtedly be opposed by the historic preservation societies (who indeed, if
they had existed in 1873, would never have allowed Guichardo to do what he did). However, apart from the tower house, which is a 'listed' monument, there is nothing but prejudice to prevent it.
The renovation of Uppquhark Castle will be completed early in 1998. It will be available for summer rentals (minimum one week). Fully modernized self-catering
accommodation for up to six adults. Full-time resident caretaker-cum-gillie. All
hunting and fishing rights (within season) over a tract of 100 acres, with a trout
fishing burn right next to the castle. Reasonable rates, considering what you would
pay at a full service Highland Hotel.
NOTE: Renovations have been completed as of June 1998. However, opening
as a hotel has been delayed indefinitely.
We had an offer from Barbra Streisand to buy the castle, and counteroffers
from Bill Gates and Steven Spielberg! Much as Mr Pottlebury would like to continue
with his plans for the hotel, this opportunity to sell is not something to be pushed
aside with a light heart, especially with his plans for Marshmount Castle. We will
keep you informed.
July 24, 1998: Uppquhark Castle Has Been Sold!
We have sold the castle to one of the bidders for an indecently large amount of
money! Terms of the contract do not allow us to reveal to whom it was sold, but we have
been allowed to keep this web page on-line for the Marshmount Trust, providing we put
out this warning to tourists: THIS IS NOT A HOTEL and VISITORS ARE FORBIDDEN.
The pub is still open, of course, and we encourage you to patronize it and take pictures
of the castle to your heart's content from the fine rear patio lounge that has just been
opened. This is still part of the now much enriched Marshmount Trust. You may even be
surprised one day when a certain personage drops in for a wee dram. Please check our
web site for the latest information about Marshmount Castle and Guichardo's Folly.
Contact Information
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