In My time of need these came through and saved my life. My hope is they can help someone else. Part 2.
Lynn..
my name is (deleted)..im new to (deleted)...i heard you were having
some
difficulties and i wanted to write to give you some encouragement....I
have been at the point now where I felt I had no place to go.....I
am a
single mother with 6 kids..2 of them are grown now...and 1 of them
lives
with his grandparents...for the past year and a half it has been one
thing after another...I was working 2 jobs..plus going to school....I
was having trouble with my son who is now living with his
grandparents.....he was into alcohol and drugs...and the police were
constantly raid our house at least once a week..threatening to arrest
me
everytime they took my son in and i refused to pick him up....i tried
this tough love....and it didnt work very well..i was all my other
kids
had..so i couldnt afford to be arrested...otherwise i would have told
them to go for it...I had a live in boyfriend of 8 years who suddenly
runs off to canada to get married..after that i started seeing someone
else...who i found to be cheating on me....i was working 7 days a week
to barely make ends meet.i was married for 13 years before my
boyfriend...and i wasnt getting any child support...this is just
touching base on a few of the things....i could have handled things
better if i could have had a break in between..but thngs were hitting
me
one after another....i ended up loosing both my jobs...and flunking
out
of school....it was aboput this time that my health started
suffering....i passed out cold one day..and rushed to the hospital
in an
ambulance and it was found that there was something the matter with
my
heart....I also went to the doctor and got something for my nerves....i
just had heart surgery last month...and so far so good...im still
nervous all the time....and i still feel faint sometimes too...but
i
sought the help of a professional to help me get my life back in
order....because i realized that if things were going to get better..i
had to work on myself first....become both emotional and physically
healthy....i knew when i became healthy again....that is when i could
make the neccessary changes in my life...oh im still an emotional
basketcase....but im working on changing that now...i hope that you
will
consider seeking professional help also...it has done wonders for
me....and it has put me on the road to recovery....just remember..you
need to take care of yourself....and your emotional and physical
needs....if you are going to have the strength to face whatever lies
ahead...i learned this too late....and it cost me alot...Much love
to
you..*big hugs*
Love,
I received many E-mails about you over the past few days from my fellow
(deleted) and(deleted) groups. I am not a
depressive person, however, my husband and one of my brother in-laws
is. My husband is functional, my brother in-law at 32 is not.
My
husband attempted to overdose this past December by taking about 40
of
his prescribed sleeping pills (Ambien??) - luckily, he managed to call
me and I was able to get home and get an ambulance to him in time.
Nine
months later he still tells me on occasion he wishes I hadn't saved
him.
I cannot pretend to know what you are going through now, or where you
have been in your life - but please know that there are MANY people
out
there who care about you and who have you in their thoughts and prayers.
I will not burden you with "look on the bright side" and all of the
other silly things people who don't understand will tell you.
All I can
say, is that if you ever need a friend, an ear, an anonymous shoulder
to
cry on - please do not hesitate to ever contact me. My aol screen
name
is (deleted).
I hope that things will work out for you, Lynn. I thank God that
your
friend had the courage and the intelligence to contact your local
police.
Dear Lynn
I dont know you in person but I have been a lot where
you are now. dont do it..your life is worth living.
No matter what. God loves you and wants to help you.
Just call on Him, Hes there always. He filled my empty life and I was
hurting so much and helped me to hold on to my life, imperfect as it may
be. I had to live for others. I would have caused them so much pain. You
are a loved person and I wish I could be thare to hold you and cry with
you dear.
If you ever feel like it write or call me on the ICQ.
I love to hear from you. NOTHING is so bad that you need to end your
life over it dear..trust me..I know.
***************HUGS************
Remember I love you as a fellow woman in this bad world.
********************************************************************
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and all your might
and lean not on your own understanding"
Lynn
I lost my sister to suicide 15 years ago. I can't tell you how
that
devistated my family's lives.
Please call a local church office. They WILL help you. Don't
give up
or give in. Reach out just a little - I know it seems hard to
lift your
hand right now, but you will find help!
Isaiah 40:31 - But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Best Blessings!
Lynn: We have never met, but my name is (deleted) I am real
new to (deleted) and
have not taken an active role in the "club". However, I do read
the
newsletters and recently read that you were sad about something and
wanted to
just end your life. Please, don't do that! Let God decide
when you are
finished here...whatever you are going through, go through with courage
and
above all...hope. With God all things are possible. If
you wish for words of
comfort, hope and encouragement, email me and I will help you through
this,
with God's guidance. In the meantime, read what I "stumbled"
across on the
web (I am sure that God sent it to me to give to you). Love,
It takes strength to be firm.
It takes courage to be gentle.
It takes strength to stand guard.
It takes courage to let down your guard.
It takes strength to conquer.
It takes courage to surrender.
It takes strength to be certain.
It takes courage to have doubt.
It takes strength to fit in.
It take courage to stand out.
It takes strength to feel a friend's pain.
It takes courage to feel your own pain.
It take strength to hide feelings.
It takes courage to show them.
It takes strength to endure abuse.
It takes courage to stop it.
It takes strength to stand alone.
It take courage to lean on another.
It takes strength to love.
It takes courage to be loved.
It takes strength to survive.
It takes courage to live.
~~author unknown~~
Hi Lynn,
My name is (deleted) and we are members of a couple of the same
groups. I have been to your Life site and must say I DO know how
you feel. I have been there. The thing I am writing about is, (deleted)
from(deleted) and I are looking into finding you a ride to and from your
Dr. Would you mind letting me know your address, or at least
your phone number??
My phone number is (deleted) You can phone
me anytime you wish. Please let me know what you think!!!
There are some of us who really wish to help and not just tell you
to be strong, things will get better.. I have heard all those myself.
After a while it really begins to get on your nerves!!
Please write and let me know!
Hugs
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat
you with experience.
Lynn:
I wrote to you yesterday and told youa about a situation in my life
that was bad. I've since visited your page and I can sympathize with
you. I've been in your shoes. I know the feeling. It
is rough to be in such financial distress and also the depression.
I've been there. Please write to me. I'm a mother of
5 grown kids and I'm 51 years old. I can relate to your pain.
Please drop me a line. I may be on the other side of the country,
but I may be able to give you a shoulder to cry on or alend an ear to vent
to. I'm here. Please write. LOVE,
Hi Lynn,
My name is (deleted), I'm a fellow (deleted), and I just read one of
your web pages -
about attempting suicide. {{{{Lynn}}}} I don't know if
there is anything
helpful I can say, but I have been down that "depression road" also.
I have
sat in the dark for hours... my mind very clear and methodical, trying
to
determine the best, least hurtful for my loved ones, way to go about
it. I'm
an insulin-dependant diabetic, so my choice of methods was clear (simple
insulin OD, and go to sleep), so I was just trying to work out the
timing so
my young son wouldn't be the one to discover me. So, as much
as possible,
without being you, I do understand.
Fortunately, I have been free of those particular demons (for the most
part
anyhow) for about 3 yrs. I have managed to get to this point
thru counseling
and meds. I pray that you will contact the Tacoma Metro Crisis
- the Portland
Metro Crisis helped me find the right help for me.
I truly understand the financial difficulties, the "ungluing" of critical
relationships, etc... And I am now always watchful of my descent
into what I
call "depression logic" - those feelings that the mind's logic during
severe
depression is accurate, but when you are "out of" the depression, you
can see
clearly that it wasn't logical at all. But none of this helps
while you are
consumed by depression. If there is ANYTHING I can do, please
feel free to
contact me.
Love and Blessings,
This is what happenens when you are in trouble and a loving womens group gets wind. ANYONE who is lonely or needs companionship I encourage you to join a group that suits your needs.
Also a little note from (deleted)
Just a word of advice for what it is worth...Lynn sounds very troubled
and the best thing we can do for here is to ask her to get help-I know
I
am not qualified to help her-and she really needs the help of a suicide
prevention team...I think if we write to her-we should urge her to
call
them...I imagine there is something available to her in her area.
Maybe there might be a suicide help web site-I think this is where we
might steer her-rather than just telling her everything will be all
right...You know what I mean??
(deleted), I do and I agree with you! Sisters, lets rally together and
get
Lynn some help...I truly feel that she doesn't wish to leave us, just
asking for help...She lives in Tacoma...So if you know of anything,
please send it to her.
Now for the email from other Sisters regarding Lynn...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Amen to that (deleted)...Keep us informed...Prayers for Lynn....
Hugs,
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(deleted)
My name is (deleted), I just joined (deleted) and I wanted to let you
know
that I am here to help. She is not alone. My own pages hold a page
on
depression. I am 51 almost 52 and I HAVE been there, I am still there
but I do know there is life after depression. I am a bipolar with a
few
other things added in. On my links page is a whole section of help
links
for depression if anyone would like to read them. It is much easier
to
deal with if you understand all you can about it.
Please, if you get ahold of her, give her my email address, or anyone
else that needs it. It is dport@goodnet.com
I know what she is going through and I can at least be here for her.
With Loving Thoughts
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Dear (deleted),
Hello...I got a message from Lynn this morning. I am very concerned
about her, I wish there was more I could do, then I am. I feel so
helpless, but I am doing the best thing I can..praying that she will
be
ok from now on. I am also send cards and etc.. Just to
brighten up the
day, it might help.
She needs so much support right now :)
Thanks for listening to me...take care, God Bless
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I can't believe what I am reading about Lynn. This computer is
so
frustrating sometimes, cuz you can not reach through the screen and
grab
people, if you know what I mean.
I read what she had written on her page with tears coming down my face,
and I don't really know her all that well, but being in several groups
together, I know her well enough! I'm so worried and concerned
for her.
Please, if you hear anything at all about Lynn, please let me know, ok?
Thanks :o)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
That's about it...Remember if you would like to send email or cards
to
Lynn, please send them to her email lynncoleman@worldnet.att.net
*hugs, love and prayers*
HI...I just sent an email to Lynn...hoping it might help!!..I understand
where she is at in her life....I also have many days of wanting to
do
the same thing...but constantly fight it!..I believe and it is this
belief that it is going to get better!!...and there are days....I know
it is not ever going to change...but the thing that needs changing
in my
life is ME!!...it is the only way life will change....so I run around
in
circles...hoping one day to break out of the circle.......Name left
out.
Daily Meditation for 9/7 Powerless over Others
Stop making excuses for other people.
Stop making excuses for ourselves.
While it is our goal to develop compassion and achieve forgiveness,
acceptance, and love, it is also our goal to accept reality and hold
people accountable for their behavior. We can also hold ourselves
accountable
for our own behavior and, at the same time, have compassion and
understanding for ourselves.
When we claim powerlessness, we are not claiming irresponsibility.
We have no power to control others, what they do, what they did, or
what
they might do. We're stating that we are willing to end an ineffective
life
based on willpower and control. And we're beginning a spiritual,
mental, and
emotional journey in which we take responsibility for ourselves.
We are not victims. We are not helpless. Accepting powerlessness
whenthat is appropriate enables us to begin owning our true power to
take
care of ourselves. Today, I will avoid making excuses for my own or
someone else's
behavior. Iwill let consequences and responsibility fall where
they belong.
~~Melody Beattie~~~~The Language of Letting Go~~Daily Meditation for
9/8/98
Stopping Our Pain
Some of my feelings have been stored so long they have freezer burn.
----- Beyond Codependency
There are many sources of pain in our life. Those of us
from adult
children and codependency issues frequently have a cesspool of
unresolved pain from the past. We have feelings, sometimes from
early childhood to the
present, that either hurt too much to feel or that we had no support
and permission to deal with.
There are other inevitable sources of pain in our life too. There
is the sadness and grief that comes when we experience change, even
good
change, as we let go of one part of our life, and begin our journey
into the new.
There is pain in recovery, as we begin allowing ourselves to feel
while dropping our protective shield of denial
There is the pain that leads and guides us into better choices for our
future.
We have many choices about how to stop this pain. We may
have experimented with different options. Compulsive and addictive
behaviors
stop pain -- temporarily.
We may have used alcohol, other drugs, relationships or
sex to stop our pain.
We may talk compulsively or compulsively focus on other people and
their needs as a way to avoid or stop our pain.
We may us religion to avoid our feelings.
We may resort to denial of how we are feeling to stop our pain.
We may stay so busy that we don't have time to feel. We may use
money, exercise, or food to stop our pain.
We have many choices. To survive, we may have used some
of these
options, only to find that these were Band-Aids -- temporary pain
relievers that did not solve the problem. They did not really
stop our pain; they
postponed it. In recovery, there is a better choice about how we may
stop pain.
We can face it and feel it. When we are ready, with our Higher
Power's help,
we can summon the courage to feel the pain, let it go, and let the
pain move us
forward -- into a new decision, a better life.
We can stop the behaviors we are doing that cause pain, if that's
appropriate. We can make a decision to remove ourselves from
situations
that cause repeated, similar pain. We can learn the lesson our
pain is
trying to teach us. If we are being pelleted by pain, there is a lesson.
Trust that
idea. Something is being worked out in us. The answer will not
come from
addictive or other compulsive behaviors; we will receive the answer
when we feel
our feelings.
It takes courage to be willing to stand still and feel what we must
feel. Sometimes, we have what seems like endless layers of pain inside
us.
Pain hurts. Grief hurts. Sadness hurts. It does not
feel good. But
neither does denying what is already there; neither does living a lifetime
with old
and new pockets of pain packed, stored, and stacked within.
It will only hurt for a while, no longer than necessary, to heal
us. We can trust that if we must feel pain, it is part of healing,
and it is
good. We can become willing to surrender to and accept the inevitable
painful
feelings that are a good part of recovery.
Go with the flow, even when the flow takes us through uncomfortable
feelings. Release, freedom, healing, and good feelings are on
the other
side.
Today, I am open and willing to feel what I need to feel. I am
willing
to stop my compulsive behaviors. I am willing to let go of my
denial. I
am willing to feel what I need to feel to be healed, healthy, and whole.
~~Melody Beattie~~~~The Language of Letting Go~~
