The Sound of Silent Fears
Chapter 7
by Christie D.

Continued from Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Everyone at the inn was certain that Xena’s hearing would return. All except for Xena, who was becoming more withdrawn by every passing candlemark. She couldn’t understand why they were all so hopeful. Her wound had all but healed and still she couldn’t hear normal sounds if anything at all. After what happened in the meadow, Xena’s warrior mask was up again. That was all the emotional term-oil that she could handle for one day. She excused herself saying she was tired and went to their room. When Gabrielle entered, she found Xena staring blankly out the window.

She walked up to her and sat beside her. "I thought you were tired?", she signed worried.

Gabrielle could see the tears that laced Xena’s eyes. "Come on Xena, tell me!", she pleaded with her friend. She really didn’t need words to know what Xena was thinking. It was a relief just to let Xena cry on her shoulder. She was determined to be there for her, no matter what.

Gabrielle convinced Xena to lay down. She sat on the edge of the pallet and put Xena’s head in her lap. She stroked her hair and stayed with Xena until she fell asleep. Xena had a visit from Ares that night. He entered her dreamscape and confronted her.

"You know, we seem to be meeting a lot lately! Oh, Xena don’t bother to sign, I know you can

hear me!!!"

Sure enough Xena could hear him. She was puzzled, why could she hear him and not anyone else? "Ares!!! What are you doing here?. Shocked at the sound of her own voice, it took her several moments to collect her thoughts.

"Why my dear, you know why I’m here! I have come to make you a deal."

Xena stared at him unconvinced. "Why would you want to help me?", she retorted.

"The reason is simple, my dear. You want your hearing back and I want you! All you have to do is come

back to my army and your hearing will be restored.", Ares stated.

"Ares the answer is no!", she said sounding exasperated.

"Do you really think you can continue to protect your dear sweet Gabrielle?", Ares continued to bait her. He circled her, Xena could feel his breath tickle the hairs on the back of her neck. "How would I be able to protect her?", she wondered. One thing was for sure, she was not going back to him. A long time ago she promised Gabrielle that she would not become a monster. Ares had managed to convince her of something though. In this state she was a danger to Gabrielle and her family. Xena didn’t know what to do.

Ares spoke again, "Well you know the alternative, but are you strong enough to pull it off?"

She knew exactly what Ares was talking about. The alternative for a warrior was death.

Xena woke up covered in sweat. Gabrielle was still deep asleep at her side. She decided she needed to go for a walk. She headed for the stables. Argo was always the easiest to talk to. She went into her stall, Argo gave her an affectionate shove. Argo was always there when Xena needed her. "Is this really the only way? Could Ares be right. Is Gabrielle better off without me?", she wondered while brushing Argo. Sensing her owners distress, Argo stuck her head into Xena’s chest and nickered. This got a smile from her mistress. Xena spent many long candlemarks contemplating. Falling on her sword was not a solution. Gabrielle would never forgive her for that. She finally decided she needed some air. After giving Argo a heart-felt hug, she exited the barn and went for a walk in the secluded hills just outside of Amphipolis. She walked until there was nowhere to go. As she stood at the top of a cliff overlooking the ocean, all was still as the sun rose above the horizon. No fog, no mist, only the soft calls of seagulls in the distance. She just stood there staring out at the bleak emptiness of the sea below.

Later that morning, Gabrielle awoke alone. She decided after breakfast to go and look for her. What she found puzzled her. Xena was not in the meadow and Argo was still in her stall waiting to be groomed. This was very strange indeed. Where had Xena gone?, she wondered.

She walked over to Argo and gave her an affectionate pat on the nose. "Hey girl, where did she go, huh?" Argo neighed and stomped her hoof. "You sense something wrong too! Don’t ya girl!", Gabrielle said as she retrieved the saddle and bridle. "Well, lets go find her, huh!!!", she led Argo out of the barn and hoisted herself into the saddle. Argo always seemed to know where she was.

What Gabrielle found was shocking. Xena was standing on the top of the cliff, she seemed to stare at nothing. It was like she was in a trance. Gabrielle froze when she saw Xena’s foot creep toward the edge. Her mind was screaming, "NO!!". She couldn’t move, she was paralyzed with fear. Her own memories of another day at a cliff, the one where she was the one in danger, just took hold of her. Gabrielle knew she had to help her friend, but her body wouldn’t let her. It was like Gabrielle was reliving a memory. For as she watched Xena get closer and closer to the edge, it was all like a bad dream. As she watched her friend, the ground around Xena’s feet suddenly gave way.

Xena’s back was turned to her and she approached silently. Gabrielle was about two feet from her when she lifted her foot to step forward. "NO!", she screamed, grabbing Xena’s arm and attempting to pull her back towards her.

Xena, not knowing who she was, attempted to fight off her attacker. As sudden as Xena’s reaction had occurred, she stopped struggling and simply stared at her. Xena’s eyes held a blankness that frightened her. Xena’s skin was terribly cold to the touch. Gabrielle’s fear for her rose as she realized that she was close to death even as she stood there.

Xena suddenly punched her. Gabrielle fell to the ground howling in pain. This sudden action, caused Xena to fall back. Her foot landed right on the edge of the embankment. The ground began to give way beneath her. A look of shear terror flashed across Xena’s face as she looked down at the mud sliding out from beneath her and then back at Gabrielle as she fell. Xena screamed in fear. Now that it was happening without her direction, Xena realized that this was not what she wanted.

She leaned forward, clawing at the ground, desperately trying to find a handhold. Gabrielle managed to put the pain aside and stumbled toward her friend. She fell to her knees and grabbed Xena’s right hand. Xena stared up at her, as she lay against the rocky slope. Xena stared at Gabrielle with pleading eyes. The insanity of her emotions had faded, leaving only the shocking realization that she almost killed herself. Now, clear-headed, she hung onto Gabrielle’s hand desperately, not wanting to die.