Reactions And Resolutions
Chapter 4
by DQiscool
Hercules and Iolaus waved goodbye to Alcemene. Alcemene prayed to whatever god was listening to keep her son safe and lessen his pain. "So, how was Gabrielle holding up?" Hercules asked making conversation.
"Not too well. She was attacked for Xena’s body as I told you before. She cried on my shoulder. She was angry with Xena for leaving her. She seemed to pull herself together. She told me that Xena’s last request was that she be buried with her brother," Iolaus added.
"Gabrielle loved her very much," Hercules said quietly.
"Yes, Gabrielle is one of the few people Xena would let get close to her. I think she got to see more of Xena then Xena’s mother ever did. Gabrielle really adored Xena," Iolaus replied.
"How do you know?" Hercules asked.
"While you and Xena were freeing Prometheus, we talked for a while. Gabrielle talked about how wonderful Xena was, Hercules. She really admires and idolizes Xena. Xena became Gabrielle’s home. She felt safe with Xena around, like nothing could hurt her. Now, that’s all been ripped away from her," Iolaus explained. Hercules looked at his friend wanting to talk to him about his feelings but he wasn’t ready yet. Iolaus understood and was content to talk about Gabrielle or whatever his friend was willing to talk about.
"I should have been there," Hercules said. Iolaus stared at his friend for a moment.
"Hercules, you couldn’t have known this would happen," Iolaus replied. He stopped walking for a moment to look into his friend’s eyes. Hercules was busy looking anywhere but at Iolaus.
"We should cut through those hills over there," Hercules said changing the subject. He started to walk but Iolaus grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.
"You blame yourself for this?" Iolaus asked. Hercules merely looked through his friend. "Hercules, this is not your fault. You had no way of knowing. It was Xena’s idea to separate in the first place, Hercules. She wanted to make it on her own. This isn’t your fault," Iolaus said shaking his friend, trying to get through to him.
"You don’t understand Iolaus," Hercules replied. He sighed and started to walk off again. Iolaus watched his friend for a while realizing that he didn’t understand. His friend had lost so many that he loved. This just wasn’t fair. He shook his head and ran to catch up to his friend. They continued on in silence.
Meanwhile, Xena and Gabrielle were two days ride from Thebes. Xena was still jumpy but she managed to hide it from her friend, or so she thought. "Xena," Gabrielle began.
"Hmm," Xena mumbled looking down at her friend.
"What’s wrong? And don’t tell me nothing because I know that something’s wrong," Gabrielle said sternly.
"Gabrielle," Xena sighed about to deny the entire thing.
"No, Xena, you have been jumping at every sound since we left the amazon village. That’s not like you. You’ve avoided confrontation. Your talking less then you usually do. You hardly ever talk anyways, it’s like there’s a barrier between us Xena. Please, tell me," Gabrielle pleaded.
"Gabrielle, I know that a warrior’s life isn’t a long one. I’ve always known that. It’s just, well, I started to believe that I was invincible," Xena replied. Gabrielle remembered thinking the exact same thing. She merely nodded hoping that Xena would go on. "It just really turned my world upside down when I was killed. Realizing that I could lose everything in a brief second. I’ve been the great Warrior Princess for so long, I started to relax. Gabrielle, it’s like, throughout my whole life I’ve had that falling tree hitting me. Most times I’ve gotten bruises. When my brother died that tree whacked me good. It took me years to heal that wound and it still hurts no and then. Caesar was another hit. It seems that no matter what I do, there’ll be a falling tree, or something ready to knock me down. I’m just afraid that next time, I won’t be able to get back up," Xena said, trying to explain. "Sorry, that probably seemed silly," Xena said. She turned pretending to have heard something while she was really wiping a single salty tear from her eye.
"I’ve heard better," Gabrielle admitted. "But I understand. It’s strange, I never thought that you were afraid of anything," Gabrielle added.
"People see what you let them see," Xena replied.
"I guess so. Xena, I felt the same way. About you being invincible I mean," Gabrielle explained. "When you left. I felt so betrayed. Like you did it on purpose," Gabrielle said suddenly finding her boots very interesting.
"Gabrielle, in a way I let myself die. That’s what scares me the most. I didn’t really fight the pain or the wound. I was too overwhelmed by my past to worry about the present or my future," Xena said trying to explain. She smiled down at her friend. "Come on, we’ve got a good ways to go," Xena said straightening up. Gabrielle smiled at her friend knowing that Xena wasn’t ready to completely confide yet. They would have to talk about this over a period of time. Xena was having to deal with so much emotion all at once. Emotion about her past and present. Xena had buried her emotions for so long, she wasn’t used to dealing with them at this level yet. They started off again both knowing that they had more to discuss but neither wanting to start. Xena suddenly tensed up hearing something. This time it wasn’t an animal. They stopped as ten brigands jumped down from the trees. They were surrounded before they could move. Gabrielle was startled and wondered why Xena hadn’t sensed them sooner. Xena merely grinned at the leader. "Hello boys," She said quietly.
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