Real Estate Agent: I presume the bedrooms are upstairs.
Gracie: Yes, except when you're upstairs. Then they're on the same floor.

Scene: at the BMV Gracie is applying for a license...
Mr. Harkens of the BMV: Mrs. Burns, I've been going over your test. Never in the 16 years I've been here have I seen anything like it.
Gracie: Thank you.
Mr. Harkens: When you wrote these answers you obviously had something in mind. For instance, this question: Have you ever had a license before? You said you did. How long?
Gracie: Oh, it was about four inches. It fit right in my wallet.
Mr. Harkens: I see. Well, let's try the eye test. That doesn't require any thinking.
Gracie: All right with me, but why don't you like to think?
Mr. Harkens: Now, Mrs. Burns, please concentrate on the chart on the back wall. Close one eye...[handing her a white card] and what do you see?
Gracie: [holding card in front of her eye] I see the white card.
Mr. Harkens: No, no, no, no, what do you see with the other eye?
Gracie: Nothing, that's the eye that's closed...[now persuaded to try to read the eye chart] I wish I could, but I can't read any of the words.