TOTEMIZE EVERYTHING!

Okay, now that that’s out of my system, let’s all have a party and read part eleven. I mean, if you’ve gotten this far, you must be interested in what I’m doing! I’d like to hear from you, actually. Just to see what kind of audience I have…if I still have one!

Sailor Moon belongs to a heap of people, but not me, along with a lot of other elements of this haphazard story. Therefore, this is non-profit…I’m already poor, okay? I had to put my cardboard box on a second mortgage!

Write me? Then go with luna_dreamscape@hotmail.com. You can’t go wrong!

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the persistence of memory

"life by its very nature is cruel and unkind and unfair"

by Celeste Goodchild

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Chapter Two:

nemesis

~land of shattered dreams~

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Part Eleven: On My Way Home

"This place is EXACTLY as I remember it," sighed Sailor Moon. "Can’t you guys afford decorators?"

"Stuff it, moon brat," muttered Nephrite. "We didn’t have any control over these corridors, no more than you have control over how the streets of Tokyo are built."

"Don’t get tetchy, Nef," said Zoya, a peculiar smile on her face. He poked his tongue out at her, and they dissolved into laughter.

"Am I missing something?" asked Venus, from under Jadeite’s arm. He just laughed.

"A Zoi-Neffy argument – Kunzite and I used to put up with these on a regular basis. I’m used to it – but it doesn’t mean I like it." He raised his voice and directed it at the sparring pair. "KNOCK IT OFF!"

Zoya turned, looking innocent. "Knock what off, Jadeite?"

"You guys," called Celestine. "We’re going to have to be careful about this. Is the ginzuishou safe there, Sailor Moon?"

"Of course," she cried indignantly, and looked down. A cold chill entered her heart.

Her locket was empty.

"Ohhhh…..SHITFUCKDAMMITIAMSUCHANODANGOATAMA!" The girl was practically in tears, and everyone except Celestine stared at her in horror.

"Relax, don’t blow a head gasket," said the Inquisitor mildly. "Beryl and Metallia can sense its presence in their realm, so I gave it to your mother to look after. See?"

She pulled out a small locket, shaped like a moon. Popping it open, Sailor Moon saw a smile, a smile so familiar. Queen Serenity-hime.

"Mother?" she gasped. The apparition in the locket nodded, and said in reply "I hold the crystal for you, my daughter. When it is time, you shall take it upon yourself once more."

"Really? Do I have to? Last time I did that, it killed me!"

The Queen chuckled. "Oh, Usa-chan, really. Just believe in yourself, and it will protect you."

Celestine snapped it closed, and Mercury looked at her in admiration. "I never thought about that – that was really clever. Insidious, maybe, but still clever."

Celestine appeared bored – it seemed her small excitement over her prank had faded. "Breccia didn’t make me leader just because I was the only person available, you know. I’ve done this kind of thing before."

"What?" asked Mars. "Destruction of worlds?"

"Cleansing of old wounds," she snapped, looking insulted. "I didn’t ask for this job, it was forced on me."

She pointed at the ceiling. "Anyway, there is an opening up there – it’s part of a network of ducts that run the breadth of the Dark Kingdom. We’re going to use it to get to the Temple of the Ancients, because we just might get noticed if we waltz down the main street. And warping would leave us vulnerable to an attack from the psychotic duo, Beryl and Metallia." Amazingly agile in her long dress, Celestine scaled the eight foot wall without effort, and extended a hand. "And I’ll warn you all – don’t expect any hocus-pocus from me." For the first time, everyone noticed she held no staff. "Because of circumstances, I have none of my old power here, and I will remain powerless until I become the avatar of Angelikarma. So don’t expect me to pull any pranks like I did at the Moon Kingdom, or at Nemesis. You’ll have to protect me."

Nepheline took her hand, and with the help of Tuxedo Kamen, Celestine pulled her into the passage. And so it continued, and finally, Tuxedo Kamen and Zoya handed up the two cats.

He looked at her, smiling. "Need a hand?"

She surprised him. "I’ll be fine, you go on up. I’ll be there in a second."

Shrugging, Tuxedo Kamen disappeared into the alcove, leaving Zoya alone. She closed her eyes, wondering why she stood here…

"Zoisite."

She felt a hand on her waist, and she turned in shock, to face her former lover. "Kunzite."

He seemed so happy, so disbelieving. "Zoisite, you came!"

"To destroy Metallia and Beryl for eternity," she said in a dead voice, eyes blank. "And I am no longer Zoisite – I rejected that part of me. The most honest part of me did. It’s over between us."

"No." He reached out with a hand, and opened his palm to Zoya.

The rose was in perfect bloom, the pink so bright against the drabness of their surroundings. With a trembling hand, she took the rose.

A great sorrowful weight crushed down on her heart, and she almost cried out in agony as the light engulfed her. Around her fell the old blossoms, of another personality.

She cried out in horror as she saw the uniform, tears spilling down her cheeks. She ripped the aqua band from her hair, and her scream caught in her throat. She turned from the perturbed Kunzite, and scrambled into the alcove.

"Wait."

She had no idea what made her turn back to the man she now loathed, but still loved in some deep part of herself. He was now standing at the entrance, two feet off the ground. She lay on her stomach in the alcove, looking into his eyes with confusion. She didn’t see her hands move to meet his, her fingers entwining in his own. All she saw was the sadness in his silver blue eyes.

"Don’t leave me now," he said sadly, and to her shock, she leant forward, and said softly "Why would I want to, dear heart?" Her breathing was quick, shallow as she began a kiss that could have resulted in who knew what had Tuxedo Kamen not returned.

"Zoya?"

She turned in the crawl space, to see Tuxedo Kamen slithering toward her. Kunzite had vanished. "What’s – oh god, Zoya!"

"I’ve become her," she mumbled quietly. "I’ve become…that…again! Oh God, someone help me! I hate this, I don’t want to be this person ANYMORE!" She burst into tears, and Tuxedo Kamen pushed past her, and leapt down from the alcove. He then pulled her down from the cramped space, and held her tightly in his embrace.

He too, was almost in tears. "Stay with me, I’ll set you free," he whispered huskily. "’Cause I can tell you once were pretty…"

"What’s going on back here?" asked Artemis, returning with Luna at his die. He scowled. "Really, you two – would you stop rubbing it in Sailor Moon’s face?"

Luna nudged him sharply. "Look at what she’s wearing, nimbus!"

Artemis gasped, and sighed. "Bloody hell."

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The group had managed to find an opening in the passageway, and they all sighed in relief to be out in the open – at least, a larger cave. The group huddled together as they all waited for everyone to catch up.

Luna and Artemis finally arrived, Tuxedo Kamen and Zoisite in tow. The two actually seemed slightly uncomfortable around each other now. Venus reasoned it was because of their pasts as Zoisite and Tuxedo Kamen – as Chiba Mamoru and Zoya Troubetzkoy, none of that had ever happened. But now that the pasts were fully awakened…

"What the fuck happened to you?" asked Sailor Moon, her voice growing in pitch.

Luna winced. "Regressions, Sailor Moon. Just don’t freak, okay? Zoisite did that for all of us."

"Are you okay?" asked Jadeite, moving over to where his sister huddled against the man she had once tried to kill. "You’re still female, though."

"Yeah, and you know why. When I become Zoya during that damned Choice, I also chose to be a woman. And even though Zoisite is me again, I stay female because of the power involved in a gender change. Not even memory can change that. Only Beryl…"

"Let’s just go," said Celestine softly, and one could see the worry evident in her golden eyes. It was déjà vu…Leucite had appeared very much the same way when they had gone to the gateway of the Omni-zone.

"Is something wrong, Celestine?" asked Nepheline softly, from where she sat at Morganite’s side. The pair had one arm slung around the other, and seemed to be very comfortable operating together.

"There could be," she said, cocking her head to one side, like she could hear something. Everyone immediately fell silent. She sighed, shaking her head. "I wouldn’t worry about it, but…well, I think I felt a disturbance in the force…"

"Really?" said Jadeite, and to everyone’s shock, he pulled out a small cylinder in his hand, and hit a button. A green shaft of energy erupted from the cylinder, and Jadeite proceeded to put on a breathy, rasping accent. "Ah, so you have come…"

"Put that down!" cried Celestine in exasperation, but she was still smiling. "Don’t give Nephrite and Zoisite any ideas!"

It was a little late. Both had whipped out their light sabers, and were ready to duel. It took glares from Tuxedo Kamen and Naru to get their respective partners to grumble in disappointment and put the sabers away.

Sailor Moon giggled. "I think this is progress – at least they haven’t killed each other yet."

"Blame Angelikarma for that," said Zoisite good-humouredly. "It stuck us together in eternity."

The Grand Inquisitor smiled, and proceeded to tell them of the plan.

"The Temple of the Ancients is just up ahead – once there, we will have to invoke Angelikarma, channel the power into me, then we can face Beryl once more. I will not directly interfere in that battle, I am afraid. Angelikarma is a pure force, and revenge is a darkness of spirit. I can only interfere in matters of retribution – and that would happen to be Metallia’s demise. Breccia’s Trust, the Sailor Senshi and their guardians will destroy Beryl. I must face Metallia alone, though if I need you, I’ll just scream." She smiled, and shrugged. "Hey, even we immortals get scared sometimes."

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The graveyard was as Venus remembered it to be – and once again, they stepped towards the gateway, Celestine leading, she and Jadeite behind her, the other Senshi behind them, then Naru, Masato, Luna and Artemis. Zoisite and Tuxedo Kamen brought up the rear, seemingly in a deep conversation. Nepheline and Morganite, holding hands, walked out to one side, sort of beside the Senshi.

"So what do we have to do, exactly?" asked Venus, and Celestine answered, not turning from looking at the temple.

"I will invite the force into me, and it will take my mortal form – for I am mortal without my powers – and twist it to suit the power. Don’t panic about it – it sounds dangerous, as well as stupid, but I am well trained. There is little that could hurt me magical-wise, mortal or no. Then, I will be an angel of retribution, free to pursue Metallia. But first, I will let you go to Beryl, so that Breccia’s Trust may take their revenge."

"I don’t understand," said Jadeite slowly. "What exactly is Breccia’s Trust? And why, if we are not to fight Metallia, do we have to help you gain Angelikarma?"

"Because you are children of Breccia – she has endowed you with her power, her righteous justice, and this is her gift to you. You have the power to invoke Angelikarma, something I cannot do if I am to remain pure enough to take the spirit into myself. You see, Angelikarma is only awakened by the desire for vengeance – but can only be used in matters of retribution. There are two facets to the power – an eternal paradox."

"This is WAY beyond me," sighed Sailor Moon, tripping on an uneven piece of ground. "Oh, fudge!"

"What, no tears? No wailing? This is a historical-"

"Mars, DAMARE!"

"Quiet," snapped Celestine, and her anger softened as she looked at the pair. "Sorry, just tense."

"I think we all are," spoke up Zoisite from the rear.

"Are we there yet?" whined Sailor Moon.

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The five Sarcophagi were still arranged in the star shape, and the group assembled sombrely in a circle around the circular stone altar in the middle. Celestine hopped onto it, and lay down, winking at the others.

"Ready?"

"What are we supposed to do?" asked Zoisite, still clutching the hand of Tuxedo Kamen. Celestine giggled, and said "Oh, right. Sorry. Uh, well, you Senshi aren’t going to be much help – besides, it’ll get us all in trouble if you start expending energy, because Beryl and Metallia will sense it, and send armies of youma right here. This energy will not be sensed, for Breccia protects her own. So you can go over there, and try not to interfere. You may want to – but don’t. Tux, Naru, Luna, Artemis - you join them. The rest of you, get over here…" her voice trailed off as she realised that the group numbered four. "Where’s Morganite?"

Nepheline was practically in tears. "She…she started babbling about seven years bad luck, and…and…she just disappeared!"

Celestine sat on the edge of the altar and buried her face in her hands. "Oh shit, are we in for it now."

"Nanii…what can we do now?" asked Sailor Moon, suddenly very afraid.

"Not a lot," she sighed heavily, looking at the sarcophagus of Morganite with shadowed eyes. She bit her lip, drawing blood. "Breccia’s Trust must have five hand-picked members…and as far as I know, Nepheline was the only substitute. Oh, shit."

"There are no others?"

"Not that I know of," she said in a low voice. "This is REALLY screwed up now."

"Could Leucite do it?" asked Nepheline, looking hopeful. Celestine shook her head, red hair flying.

"From what I can tell, Morganite is actually with him now, I have a feeling deep in my gut."

"Then – let’s go find her!" cried Sailor Moon enthusiastically.

Celestine shook her head even more finally than before. "No. Morganite is gone – that is why she went to Leucite. To become herself once more. That member of the Trust is lost to us."

"And there are no others?"

"Only one – and, shit, I think that’s not going to be easy." She fell into a brooding silence, and the others looked at one another. It was Jadeite alone who could speak the name.

"Kunzite?"

Zoisite choked back a cry, and shook her head. "He left us, he can’t be a part of Breccia’s Trust…can he?"

"If we can bring him back…yes."

"But he’s turned on his Choice, on the past. He has no good in him." Celestine shook her head at Mars’s objections.

"Not necessarily…maybe, maybe we can bring him to us." She turned to look at Zoisite, and her searching eyes told the former king she knew what had happened to turn her into her former self, at least a little.

Zoisite shook her head faintly. "You don’t want me to…"

"You are the one," she murmured, and stood closer to the girl, and then Celestine grabbed her hand, yanking her away from Tuxedo Kamen. She looked at her seriously for a moment, then sighed. "Tell me the truth, Zoisite – you still care for him, don’t you? And you do realise that if we destroy Metallia while he is still under her control…he’ll die. Can you stand by and watch him die? After all that-"

"Stop!" she cried out, anguished. "I don’t want to know! Leave me alone!"

"Zoisite." Celestine was relentless, but the others could understand her motivation. "You’re just scared, frightened of being hurt again. Endymion is yours, though. Kunzite will not come back into your life unless you let him."

She bowed her head, suddenly very, very tired. "I will summon him."

She stood apart from the group, and looked at the rose she formed effortlessly in her trembling hands. "Are you still there? Does your heart still cry for me, long for me…love me?" Tears streaked down her porcelain cheeks. "Because mine still sings for you..."

The man stepped out of the shadows from where he had watched the conversation, eyes hollow and naked. "I never stopped loving you. I don’t…I don’t know why I made that Choice, to be away from you, not have a past with you. I think…it was guilt." He too, was crying, though he seemed unaware of her tears. "It was my fault you died…I loved you, and let you die!"

She moved closer, slowly, never once removing her verdant eyes from his cerulean-silver, and she halted as she stood only a few centimetres from him. She reached up with a tentative, shaking hand, and caressed his cheek. He closed his eyes in pain, as she murmured "It was never your fault, my dearest, dearest love. Oh koibito, sensei…my love. Kunzite…"

He longed to hold her close, to be a part of her once more, but the feelings from her…she wasn’t his any longer, despite all her words to the contrary. "I wish everything could be like it was again…"

"I’m no genie," she chided softly, moving away from him. "Please, Kunzite, even if I am yours no longer, don’t go back to Metallia, to Beryl…to Phenakite. Stay, take control of your own destiny. Friendship-"

"Is a gift I would not deny," he replied softly. "I will always love you, sweet angel…but if friendship is all you can give me, then that is all I will take."

He ached to hold her, but he managed to stay away. She nodded her thanks with a slight tilt of her golden head, a small smile. The rose she still held in her hand withered and died.

"It is time," said Celestine gently.

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The group had gathered in a star formation around the altar where Celestine lay, in front of their corresponding sarcophagi, except for Nepheline, who stood before Morganite’s bronze form. They closed their eyes, and let their minds drift aimlessly. A nervous giggle from Nepheline’s direction annoyed Zoisite. "Shut up," she hissed, trying to concentrate.

"Relax, Zoi – cut the caffeine out of your diet, would ya?"

"Nephrite, Zoisite – please, don’t start. Nepheline, don’t be afraid. Just do as I told you." Celestine looked worried as she stared at the ceiling, then closed her eyes once more with a sigh.

They emptied their minds of all thought – and both Zoisite and Kunzite felt immense relief as the pain slipped away. All felt…as if they had left trouble behind.

One glorious whole…a peace descended on their hearts as their spirits left their bodies.

There would be no more pain. No more death…only light. And peace that filled the world.

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"Oh my god…" breathed Sailor Moon. "Stop them, someone stop them!"

Tuxedo Kamen gasped as the girl dug her fingernails into his arm, and tried to pry her off. "Celestine told us not to interfere, remember? Just…"

He had to admit that he was scared, too. Scared for Zoisite…the light that surrounded them was beautiful, calming, cleansing...but terrifying in its awesome power.

"My god." That was Luna, and she sounded awed. The others stood, amazed. The figures stood at silent attention, and above them floated hazy masses…their spirits. They had left their bodies.

"Is this a good thing?" asked Venus, her knuckles white as she wrung her hands. She was the only one who could speak.

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And somewhere, deep in the heart of the Dark Kingdom, someone felt an anger that let the evil flow through her veins…and true evil filled her heart. She looked emotionlessly at the blood staining the ground around the throne, and bowed her head. She could sense the power building…she would return to destroy the second. Then, the Dark Kingdom would be her empty palace…to echo her empty life.

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The five people stood in a beautiful garden, looking at each other in bewilderment.

"Uh, where are we?" asked Zoisite, looking around in shock.

Nephrite smiled, and looked at her with no rancour. "I forgot my map, sorry."

"You mookle, you never think ahead. But Kunzite…you always do. Where are we?"

He smiled gently. "I forgot to leave a trail of breadcrumbs…I do think we’re lost."

Nepheline laughed out loud. "Oh, you guys, always taking things so literally. We are in the realm of Angelikarma – it doesn’t look at all familiar, does it?"

"We were in the glass of the eternal spirits," interjected Nephrite. "They got budget cuts – no decorators."

"Do you mean that we have to find Angelikarma and bring it back?" asked Jadeite.

The young immortal shook her head. "We already have. Just being on this plane endows us with the force…all we have to do is return."

"It’s so peaceful here…do we have to?"

"Zoisite, you know the answer as well as I do."

She smiled sadly. "I can live without this peace, I guess. But Endymion…"

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The five spirits funnelled back into their bodies, the five opening their eyes and looking at each other. No one released another’s hand. Kunzite smiled, and began.

The energy grew from within as he began chanting quietly in the ancient tongue of Nemesis, and each took on power as they joined in the mystical words, the five voices reuniting to become one ageless, emotionless, nameless voice, one that invoked a light above the altar in the ceiling.

Celestine’s motionless form suddenly began to rise from the altar as the group moved their joined hands upward, the light descending to meet her.

The altar exploded in a flash of light, and when the group opened their eyes, they were stunned but what they saw.

The temple was a hazy mass, the only real, solid thing being the altar in the middle. The five were changed, each wore a solid white cloak, clasped at the throat by the crystal for which they were named. They smiled at the others wearily, and Tuxedo Kamen, Sailor Venus and Naru ran towards the member they loved. Now, they were truly Breccia’s Trust.

"Where is Celestine?" asked Sailor Moon, fearfully glancing around the hazy surroundings.

"Right here," she said softly, stepping down from the altar. They almost fainted to see her – she had changed as she took on the force, been purified.

Her hair was loose about slender shoulders, her dress completely white and full, made of a material that seemed to float on air. One might have called her an angel, but she had no wings. It was her aura that gave her the mystical charisma.

In one hand was a tall golden staff, on the top was a tiny angel, her hands clasped in prayer. "I have the power. I am the Avenger."

"ANOTHER title?" giggled Jupiter. "How do you keep track of them all?"

She smiled, and it was like dawn breaking on a smooth horizon. "This one’s only temporary, thank Breccia." She waved the staff almost without thought, and the surroundings returned to normal. Except for the altar, which was a tall column of golden light, extending to the hole in the ceiling.

"Thank god," sighed Sailor Moon in relief. "I thought I needed glasses." Mars laughed at this, and the others joined in. It was nice to be able to relax at last, though Celestine didn’t. Unlike before though, she was no longer tense, or nervous. She radiated calm like the eye of a storm, and her simple smiles were enough to brighten the lowest of spirits – like Kunzite’s. Seeing his love in the arms of who had once been the deadliest rival was heartbreaking. But still…

"YOU BASTARDS!" screamed a voice suddenly, filled with anguish. "OH GODS HOW I HATE YOU!"

The assembled group turned in shock, only Celestine unperturbed by the dramatic entrance. "So, Phenakite, you DID sense the power of Angelikarma. You are not as lost as I believed."

"You bitch," she said quietly, voice razor-sharp with maliciousness. "That power belongs to me. I am the sole heir to the throne of Nemesis, and you know it."

"You aren’t," she replied with the same even conviction. "Phoebe Loxeriam is dead. Phenakite has no claim here."

She spun on Kunzite, eyes blazing. "You helped her, didn’t you? How could you betray me like that? What made you…"

Her voice trailed off, understanding dawning in her eyes as her deadly gaze fell on Zoisite. "It was you, wasn’t it? Our little hermaphrodite…well, I’ll tell you what, little king, you’ll never stand in my way again."

She raised her hands, a dark energy crackling at her fingertips. "I HATE YOU, ZOISITE! MAY YOU BURN IN HELL!"

Phenakite rushed at her, and she managed to avoid her by pure luck. Screaming in insane fury, the girl rushed at her, her hands held like claws.

"No!" cried out Kunzite in pain, and shot a deadly beam at the girl.

Zoisite saw it coming, and said in a trembling voice to Kunzite "Forgive me."

She stepped into its path.


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