Hi-hi all! I return with more insanity – a good old kiwi tradition. We kiwis are about fifty gumdrops short of a fruitcake. At least, I know I am…

You know the story – Sailor Moon is the property of etc…


the persistence of memory

"life by it’s very nature is cruel and unkind and unfair"

by Celeste Goodchild


chapter three:

dismembrance of things past

Time meets the end of memory


Part five – bullet with butterfly wings

"For it is time to show favour to her; the appointed time has come."

-Psalms 102:13


Moonlight filtered through the window, touching the figure with gentle fingers of silver. His features, lit up by the soft light, were slightly creased. His long lashes twitched slightly, as the tall silent man regarded the sleeper from the doorway.

He had heard about the nightmares from Athena, who had come to him in concern several weeks beforehand. She didn’t seem overly worried at first – apparently, he would have screaming nightmares, but would wake up in the morning and have no recollection of having had them. It was just beginning to unnerve her now. The screaming and shouting had recently been joined by a more sinister addition – tears, aimless sobbing in his sleep.

As Adonis watched, he saw the man’s hands suddenly clench into tight fists, his breathing coming faster as his eyes clenched tightly closed. He began to moan quietly, and suddenly, the silence was shattered by a screamed, agonised wail. It was incomprehensible as separate words, but the emotion behind it was obvious – a desperate despair.

Then, he began to sob, and Adonis winced. Athena had said she had never tried to awaken him from these nightmares, but instead, had let them wind down themselves. This was the first time he had seen one of the nightmares in progress firsthand, and he had to admire Mercury her discipline. All he wanted to do was take him into his arms and cradle him, bringing him back to reality gently. With love.

Orpheus’s sobbing reached a hysterical peak, and Adonis sighed heavily, and reached over. He took the man into his strong arms, holding him to his chest in a passionately possessive embrace. The young man’s emerald eyes popped open in surprise, and he looked up at the older general in bleary shock. "Adonis?"

He continued to hug him fiercely, rocking him back and forth. "Orpheus, it’s okay. I’m here, Athena will always be there for you…what are you so afraid of? What makes you cry so? I love you…Athena loves you…"

Orpheus laughed silently. "I know that, silly…hey," he said, suddenly realising something. He ran his hands over his face as Adonis released him. They came away wet with salty tears. "Have I been crying?"

"In your sleep – along with a few assorted tormented wails," replied Adonis wryly. "I’d really like to know what goes on in your head."

Orpheus forced a laugh. "I…you know, I…" He stopped speaking suddenly, looking lost. "I was crying in my sleep?"

"Yes, my love," crooned Adonis gently, holding the younger man closer. It was the first time since they had admitted their love that they had been so physically intimate with one another. Both knew they were sexually attracted to each other, but the pact stayed with them. Now, Adonis ached to hold him in his arms, kiss him until everything melted into obscurity…except the sweetness of his lover. He surprised himself – a few months ago, he would have called such a lust perverted, twisted. But now…just having the younger man close was enough to make his heart and body crave the attentions of the general.

Orpheus wrapped his own arms about the man, holding him tightly. He smiled again, pressing his face against the man’s broad chest. Adonis had to resist kissing him tenderly…he could still remember clearly the first time they had kissed. He had held him much the same way…he decided to risk it, and kissed the younger man’s cheek gently, like he was trying to dry his tears with his lips.

Orpheus moaned slightly, his lips slightly parting. It was like an open invitation. Adonis immediately crushed his lips over his, the pair falling back into the softness of the pillows as Adonis kissed him with a passion borne of released restraint.

But Orpheus moved unwillingly below him, trying to push him away. He managed to tear his lips from his, and sighed heavily. "I thought we agreed…Adonis, please. You’re making this harder on the both of us."

Adonis nodded, and withdrew with a sigh. "I know, Orpheus. I’m sorry…I just got carried away."

"More my style than yours," replied Orpheus with a laugh. "Oh, well…it kinda happens…but anyway, I…well, Kunzaito-sama, I just think that-"

"What did you call me?" he asked suddenly, and Orpheus looked up in surprise.

"Excuse me, my Lord?"

"Kunzaito-sama?" he asked, slightly tripping over the foreign-sounding words. He wondered how in earth they had slipped so effortlessly off the tongue of Orpheus.

He looked lost. "I didn’t call you that…did I?"

He nodded sombrely. "You did."

Falling into deep thought, Orpheus seemed to ponder over something in his own mind for a moment. Then he looked up with wide emerald eyes. "Adonis…I have been told that I’ve been having these awful nightmares for nights now, though I can never remember them…but you woke me up during one…"

He seemed not to want to say more – but Adonis pressed him, with no guilt. If this solved the mystery of this midnight visitations, it could only be a good thing. "What was the nightmare about, Orpheus?"

Orpheus seemed to shudder a little, then he began to haltingly speak.

I am standing in a field – a beautiful field, filled with flowers and with no limits…the horizon stretches into oblivion all around me…I have never felt so free…

Then, I sit down for no apparent reason. I start to play with the flowers, taking daisies and stringing them into long chains, that never seem to get much larger than five or six even though I keep adding more and more…

Then, I set the chain on the ground. When I pick it up, it is a rose…a single, perfect pink bloom. I look at it, examining it in the clean, bright sunlight.

"It’s beautiful, isn’t it?"

I turn around to find a woman watching me, slightly amused by my interest in a simple flower. I find my attention drawn to her. She is tall – much taller than me, slender yet voluptuous, a heady combination. She has a mane of long, fiery red hair that falls to below her tiny waist, and dark maroon eyes that are piercing me like arrows. Yet, it is not an uncomfortable feeling. She continues to smile – she is very beautiful. She makes my head hurt, just to look at her.

She kneels beside me, her long violet dress rustling like autumn leaves as she does so. She takes my hand, and to my surprise, she presses my fingers to her lush lips. "I’ve missed you," she whispers quietly. "But I’m not the only one…"

My head is really beginning to spin now – it’s like her very presence is intoxicating in itself. I can’t understand why…I feel no love for the beautiful woman, but I still feel a deeper attachment to her.

"Does your head hurt?" she asks quietly, and I nod without words. She smiles…knowingly? She touches her long-fingered hand to my forehead. "It won’t anymore."

I close my eyes, and I feel my pain drain into her…then, she puts her other hand on my chest, and murmurs into my ear, "And now my world is etched into your heart."

I open my eyes, and there you are.

You are dressed differently – in a strange grey uniform, lined in cerulean blue, a white cape attached to your shoulders by sapphire epaulettes…and you are watching me with your incredible platinum eyes. They seem more silver than blue now…

I realise I am dressed much the same way…in a grey uniform with knee-high black boots, lined in green, like my eyes. The woman steps away, and I see something glinting in her hands. Some kind of crystal.

But I turn my attention to you, my love. I see you…and I fall into you. We make love on and on and on…in a peaceful field, surrounded only by the endless expanse of caribbean blue…

His low voice trailed off, his cheeks tinged by a slight red blush. Adonis creased his brow in confusion. "Excuse me, Orpheus, can I get something straight here? This was your nightmare, am I right?

Orpheus nodded faintly, looking bewildered. "I told you it was strange…that woman, and you, only you and me forever…it doesn’t seem like a nightmare. Yet Athena tells me I scream and cry, and writhe uncontrollably, and sometimes…sometimes she says I cry out for Queen Serenity."

He arched an eyebrow. "She never told me that!" he said, and Orpheus rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"I can’t understand why…but Athena told me I scream out her name over and over – and beg her to use the Silver Empyream Crystal…and that our crystals are Hers. We are Hers…but I don’t know just who ‘She’ is…"

Adonis held the younger man tightly in his embrace. But Orpheus seemed more confused than distressed, and Adonis felt compelled to ask him to go on.

Orpheus nodded slightly, and thought a moment before speaking. "Well…this woman, sometimes she says other things…and she calls me a strange name…Zoisite, I do believe. And she calls you Kunzite…that must be where this ‘Kunzaito-sama’ is coming from…I couldn’t say for sure, but it sounds like some kind of honorific…but there are other things. Sometimes Orion is there…but the woman, she calls him Nephrite…and even Hermes. She calls him Jadeite…then she balances these four crystals in the palm of her hand, and laughs. And I go on kissing you…because you are all that matters…"

Adonis sighed. "It’s just a dream, Orpheus. We shouldn’t worry about it, I guess…it’s peculiar, but…" He yawned suddenly, beginning to realise just how tired he actually was. Orpheus smiled affectionately at him, and said "Are you tired, my love?"

He smiled in reply, and nodded, still keeping one arm wrapped around his young friend. "I think I should go and have a decent night’s sleep – if you’re going to be okay, that is."

Orpheus smiled his thanks, but he seemed to want to say something more. "What…what about…you can sleep here, if you like…" His voice trailed off slightly, and Adonis smiled.

"If you want me to stay, I will," he murmured softly, and Orpheus’s beautiful verdant eyes lit up.

"I couldn’t wish for anything greater," he said softly, and Adonis slowly ran a finger down his nose, before winding it into his mane of long coppery hair. Then he smiled, and took off the heavy, official jacket of a commander. He removed his boots, and his then climbed into the large bed beside Orpheus, who automatically responded by snuggling up against him, and into his chest. With one arm slung around his shoulders, Orpheus felt warm, safe and secure. He had one cheek resting on the chest of the other man, and his head rose and fell with the steady breathing of his bedfellow.

"Are you not asleep yet?" asked Adonis, feeling his eyelids droop. He was beginning to find this whole thing quite surreal…he would have laughed this time last year if someone had told him he would be sharing a bed with his most spirited student.

"No, not yet…look at the stars," he said softly, pointing with one lazy finger out the window. His curtains were open, the moonlight and starlight pouring in over his bed. "Aren’t they wonderful?"

"Like you," he murmured with a low chuckle. "Orpheus, do you know what that constellation up there is?"

"No, what is it?" asked Orpheus sleepily.

"I don’t know, I was hoping you would tell me…" replied Adonis, and Orpheus began to giggle, swatting his head gently. "Idiot," he said affectionately.

Adonis just continued to smile, and let his exhaustion overwhelm him as he fell into unconsciousness. As he slumbered peacefully, Orpheus watched him silently, a bright and powerful love shining in his eyes. "I love you, Adonis," he said quietly, genuinely, yet he did not attempt to kiss him again.

He watched him sleep for a long time.


In his own chambers, Orion sat up from a nightmare, sweat pouring off him in rivulets. Like Orpheus, a perversely beautiful woman had spoken to him – but instead of a field of flowers, she spoke to him in a star field. And unlike Orpheus, these dreams were leaving more and more of an impact on him. He cradled his aching head in his clammy palms for a few moments longer, before striding to the window and yanking the curtains wide open.

Moonlight struck him forcefully, and he squinted his gorgeous blue eyes against the brightness. He wondered just what these dreams were supposed to mean.

The woman…she called him Nephrite…and she told him stories. Tales of four Kings, stolen away from their homes in the Dark Kingdom, and brainwashed into being members of the Universe.

What was strange was that he knew the four kings. He himself was one of them…and his fellow guardians completed the group.

But…we are of the Universe, he thought to himself. Yet, he was beginning to doubt this in his own mind. It could be possible…he could be this missing king.

Then…all this is wrong, he thought angrily to himself. He stared mutinously at the stars, and pondered hard on the words of the woman. It meant…she had said…

("You are a child of the stars, Nephrite.")

("You are special.")

("You can hear them speak…")

If that were true, then he should surely be able to invoke their power…

Concentrating lightly, he felt a strange movement in his mind, and when he opened his eyes, he found himself standing in a darkened room, stars hanging in the empty blackness surrounding him. It was like standing in the centre of the universe…a kind of twisted planetarium.

"Nephrite?"

A voice called for him, and Orion turned. There stood the woman from his dreams, dressed in a long violet dress, a staff holding a smoky black orb in one hand. Yet, she had lost some of her beauty – she appeared more of a daemon.

"Welcome home," she said, smiling to reveal shiny white fangs. "Welcome home, Nephrite…"


And thousands of miles away, on the surface of the moon, Queen Serenity sat bolt upright in her own opulent bed, her eyes wide. So, the prophecies were right. They spoke the truth…

The Darkness was soon to be upon them.


"Orpheus?" called a soft voice in his ear. "Come on, wake up…"

He opened bleary eyes slowly, to find himself staring at Athena. "Where’s…where is Adonis?" he asked sleepily, realising that he and Athena were the only two present.

"He’s been up for awhile already – attending to numerous little duties. He somehow managed to get you the morning off. And it’s a good thing, too." She seemed kind of worried, and Orpheus picked up on it easily. "Why is it such a good thing?" He reached for Athena’s hand, and grasped it tightly. "I mean, aside from the obvious reason?"

Athena looked pained. "I have to return to the Moon Kingdom…by order of Queen Serenity herself…I must be there by this afternoon, Earthen time…so, I thought I’d spend the morning with you."

Orpheus smiled. "Sounds fun."


By the time the Senshi had left, Orpheus was left alone in the gardens. He had brought his violin out here with him, and as he thought of the woman who had just left him, to return to her duties in the Moon Kingdom. As he absently danced the bow over the strings, he became aware of his audience.

"Nice playing, Zoisite."

Orpheus’s hand slipped, causing a note so out of tune the birds temporarily stopped singing. He was lucky he did not drop the very expensive violin. He turned to see Orion regarding him with an oddly…evil look?!

"Orion…did you just call me…"

"Zoisite," he confirmed smoothly, and came to sit beside the man on the bench. While Orpheus watched him with wide eyes, Orion took the violin from his hands, and placed it on the bench. He took his two hands in his own, and said seriously "Zoisite. That is your name…you’ ve just forgotten it…"

He shook his head faintly, not wanting to believe it. "Orion…"

"Nephrite. Look, Zoisite, you know what I speak is the truth…come, admit it? Has Beryl not visited you in your dreams?

Orpheus began to tremble. "I don’t know what you’re talking about…"

"Oh, but you do," Orion said in that same low, husky voice. "I didn’t believe it at first myself…but things change…and so do we. Orpheus, your name is Zoisite…she told you. Remember!"

He bowed his head, his long, loose hair shielding his expression from the other man. Then he sighed heavily, and gave Orion a fleeting glance, before peering up at the sky.

"Did the stars tell you? Like they always used to give you the script one page ahead of the rest of us?" he asked in a dead, emotionless tone.

Orion laughed merrily, the former lightness of his voice falling off like raindrops on leaves. "Oh, Zoisite, it’s nice to know you remember me."

He looked at the "king" with his green eyes, the emerald depths already becoming diseased, twisted. "Do the others know?"

Nephrite smiled ever wider, the general’s uniform becoming grey wool material lined in yellow, ruby epaulettes at his shoulders. He smiled, taking Orpheus’s bare hand in his gloved one. As he watched, the uniform became one similar to his new garb, instead lined in green, minus the shoulder adornments. "Don’t you mean does Kunzite know? After all, you and he always did have a rather…special relationship."

Zoisite smiled sarcastically. "Yeah, we did, huh? Though it seems that he’s become rather attached to that…Venusian woman…"

"And what about you and Ms. Mercury?" added Nephrite with a smirk. "Strictly platonic? I think not…"

Zoisite tossed his head in annoyance. "I’m not like that," he snapped in reply. "I don’t screw women – unlike you, who seems to screw everything in sight – myself included."

Nephrite smiled at that. "You were wonderful, darling," he mocked him slightly, and Zoisite raised a languid eyebrow.

"Do you love me?" he asked with a strange glint in his eyes.

Nephrite snorted. "I love what you do for me."

The other king rolled his verdant eyes, and looked around, seemingly a little lost. Nephrite caught this indecision, and said to him "You need to go back."

Zoisite gave him a strange look. "Excuse me?"

"The light has corrupted you," said Nephrite sharply, and before Zoisite knew he was doing it, Nephrite had pulled a huge gateway open. A note of unease twanged in his head as he looked at it. It was exactly like the ones…

Exactly like the ones the youma had entered the earth realm through.

A memory struck him with the force of a freight train. He recalled the day he had almost died, during the fierce beginnings of what became one of the most violent storms in recent history. The woman whom had touched his forehead…it was the same woman as in his dreams! Just…older, darker…not as innocently beautiful. This was…Queen Beryl.

"You need to come back to the Dark Kingdom," he said quietly. "And we must go now…the time space continuums are moving out of phase. It will be several weeks before they will be in line again…and a week after that, they will be sufficiently aligned, so Beryl can reopen the Great Portal."

"The Great Portal?" asked Zoisite, almost dazedly. He was beginning to feel like he was going to faint, and the music…he could hear piano music, violin…Orpheus? Who was he? Orpheus or Zoisite?

"Yes," said Nephrite, dragging the youngest of the kings to his wavering feet. "The Great Portal can only be opened at three times during an earthen year…and two and a half months ago, she tested the theory by letting the youma have an all-out party in Aragain. In another month and two weeks, we can bring them through again…and this time, we will be triumphant. Two of her kings have returned to lead to the Tides of Darkness to victory…"

"What…what about Kunzite and Jadeite?" asked Zoisite faintly, the negative energy seeming to poison his body. "I don’t like this…"

"You’re just not used to it again," snapped Nephrite impatiently. "But don’t worry, you will be. As for Jadeite and your beloved Kunzite…they can’t come, not now. They are too filled with light…and the gates will be unable to be transversed in a few minutes time. I was worried that you wouldn’t make it…so, let’s get moving. Before we can’t leave this heavenly hell-hole."

Zoisite nodded, and followed Nephrite without protest into the blackness of the abyss.


Heeheehee…what do you think? Confused yet? I am…I’m just going to point up that beryl is lying, they have never been to the Dark Kingdom before. It’s just a ploy…lying sack of sh-

Hey hey, kiddies! Want to email me? Then DO IT! "Don’t care how you look it’s just how you feel" – oh god NO! Spice Girls! Eek!

Oops. I’m out of control. No, I TAKE control…oops, I think I’ve just lost whatever sanity I once had…


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