Sailor Moon, the Sailor Senshi, their guardians and friends, the Dark Kingdom and its inhabitants are all property of Naoko Takeuchi.

Avalon, Oberon, Titania, Puck, the Weird Sisters, Owen Burnett, Goliath, David, Fox and Alexander Xanatose and the Phoenix gate are property of Buena Vista television. (as far as I know)

Kryten, David Lister, Arnold Rimmer, Cat, Holly and the theory of the Omni-zone are all property of Doug Naylor and Rob Grant.

Yoda and Luke…think y’all know already…

The lyrics to "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" (part one) and "Farewell and Goodnight" (part four) are property of the Smashing Pumpkins, written by Billy Corgan and James Iha. (Also, in part three, there is a reference to the song "in the arms of sleep.")

The lyrics to "I Shall Believe" (part two) were penned by Sheryl Crow and Bill Botrell.

Roma Ryan wrote the lyrics to the verse at the beginning of part three, part of an Enya song entitled "Evening Falls."

As for the characters of (this is a LONG list, unfortunately) Morganite/Morgan Shepherd/Éowyn, Lucien Goodchild/Leucite, Phoebe Loxeriam/Phenakite, Celestine/the Grand Inquisitor/Celeste Pendragon, Nepheline Syenite/Lena Quinn, Andradite/Andrea Rutherford-Troubetzkoy, Alexandrite/Alexander Rutherford, Zoya Troubetzkoy, Karl Rutherford and Jonathan Troubetzkoy, and Breccia, the force of Angelikarma, and the realm of Nemesis, are all of my own invention, though some are twisted versions/personalities of characters created by other people. Thus, you can’t have them without permission, ‘kay? Okay then…on with my ramblings…

-Claire, the unfortunate girl who got Celestine for a muse. (e-mail at luna_dreamscape@hotmail.com)

P.S. This part is BEFORE the attacks on Tokyo by the Dark Kingdom. I am screwing around with the emotions of the characters ‘cos it’s fun.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Phenakite wept bitterly into her hands, alone in the dark tower of shadows, the only place she could find the reviving power of solitude. Peace was unreachable, but a dull apathy was a comfort to the fallen princess. Beside her lay a book. A Bible. The story of Lucifer’s descent into hell made her wounds fresh – for she felt she had been wronged. Once a radiant angel, kicked out of heaven, and into a hellish prison. The Dark Kingdom.

"But what did I do?" sobbed the once-regal figure, sprawled ungainly on the cobblestone floor, columns of marble reaching dizzying heights around her diminutive form.

A surrealist work, that was what the tower of shadows was. Near the entrance to the Omni-zone it stood, and from her pinnacle, Phenakite could observe Beryl’s Palace, and to the north…the entrance to her home. Nemesis. Her home’s empty region.

The darkness of the confused realm she now stood in, where space was as pliable as putty, wrapped cold fingers around her heart, Nemesis was kinjareta, forbidden. Tapu.

"Screw you," she whispered, but the would-be messiah held no conviction in her sagging stance, fading voice. She still fought the evil that desired to consume her soul, as it had done to the others…Kunzite, Morganite, Nephrite, Jadeite, Zoisite…all Beryl’s other world flunkies, now completely brainwashed, like the others. Except her and Leucite. And even Nepheline…

"Where are you?" she whispered, fatigue slipping into her mind, then weaving into every inch of her body. She grew tired, oh so tired, and only Leucite had understood. He had never directly told her the truth behind his heritage, his lineage, and she had never seen any physical proof of what she believed, but she knew in her heart that she was right.

She wanted to set her people free, overthrow Beryl and then Metallia, she wanted to be the one who could release them, but she knew if…

"It would destroy me." She knew it to be true. "I would start out good…everyone always begins with the best intentions…but I would be corrupted by the blood on my hands. I can hardly hold evil off now…if I let blood flow now, it wouldn’t stop."

"Yeah," agreed a soft voice, a youthful, mischievous tinge to the words spoken by a tall young man regarding the princess.

She leapt to her feet, and without thinking, threw her arms around the heavily cloaked figure. He reminded her so much of her dead brother…it was like having him back again.

He made no move to embrace her in return, but neither did he try to move away from her. He chuckled, and she regarded him sadly, with an odd degree of sadness. "Where have you been?"

He looked at her with no small annoyance, but his tone was gentle. "Phoebe, what are you doing in here? Not only does the Tower of Shadows have a totally cliched name, it has a reputation to match. You may think you’re safe from the darkness here, but in truth, it lurks here more than anywhere else."

"Why do you insist on calling me Phoebe, Leucite? That…that name has no meaning anymore."

He rolled his blue eyes, and said in a voice full of command and resolve "Phoebe, Phenakite does not exist. Don’t EVER let yourself become Phenakite in your own mind. For the name is a vessel for the evil Beryl is trying to instil in you. If you reject the name, it will help you reject the evil. And that’s another thing – watch your emotions. Jealousy, resentment, vengefulness…all these lead to darkness."

"Thank you Yoda. Feel the force, Luke."

Leucite smiled uneasily. "Human movies again, huh? I didn’t realise cinema had anything to do with biochemistry. ‘Cos that is what you’re supposed to be studying, isn’t it?"

"You’re the one who introduced me to sci-fi!" accused Phenakite with a laugh, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She wore a long green robe, trimmed in gold, a delicately crocheted shawl of gold thread worn loosely over her shoulders. Leucite smiled to see her like this, it was so much better than her Dark Kingdom self. He thanked some ungodly force that Phoebe hadn’t fallen any deeper during his absence. He hadn’t wanted to leave, and he didn’t want to leave her again, but The Gathering was reaching its opening phases. He had to deal with the whole mortal/immortal child problem…and his own pardon. He needed a free pass.

"Listen, Phoebe – I have to return to the other dimension, I have…unfinished business there. But I will be back, soon, hopefully. Depends on what mood big daddy is in."

"Excuse me?" Her eyes clouded over in confusion, and sudden panic leapt into her eyes. "You’re leaving?"

He grimaced. "I have to. I’m just glad Beryl isn’t the possessive type – then I’d really have a problem."

Her eyes narrowed, and she regarded Leucite oddly. "There’s a question, Leucite…why does Beryl let you do what you want? If any of her kings show the slightest individuality…"

Leucite’s eyes glowed brightly, a childish mischief entering their cerulean depths. "For much the same reason she lets you do as you desire, Phoebe. I have uses that require my unrestricted movement through dimensions." Leucite ran a long fingered hand through his tidy dark brown hair, and quirked a smile in her direction. "Besides, I’m not one of her Kings. Just a hanger on." Moving toward the portal he opened with a flick of his wrist, he looked like a reluctant prince leaving his duties. "Phoebe, look. It will be okay – if you obey the whole Yoda thing. The dark side will take you, but only if you let it. You’re confused, you want him – but Kunzite loves Zoisite. He always will."

"Not unless…"

His cerulean eyes darkened, and he shot out a hand from under the cloak, grabbing hers, holding it so tightly it hurt. But he wasn’t doing it to be forceful – he simply wanted to protect Phoebe from Phenakite. "Promise me you won’t! If you work with Beryl and Metallia to destroy Zoisite, you’ll end up as one of them – the queerest of the queer. God, Phoebe, can’t you see? This is Beryl’s plan, you idiot! She’s trying to destroy the good in you that you need to keep." He looked about, almost fearfully, to see if anyone was listening. The Tower of Shadows, however, was a darkly holy place. No youma came here.

Phenakite wondered why he was worried, anyway. She knew he had the power to dethrone Beryl, just as she had. If either chose to use it.

"Behave yourself," he said darkly, and stepped through the portal.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Beryl tapped her fingers on the ball, thinking idly to herself. Things were proceeding well, Phoebe was approaching blow out. Soon she would be unable to stand it any longer, and she would destroy Zoisite, therefore giving herself up to the dark side.

Though, it seemed Metallia was not happy about the way Beryl was doing things. For some reason she did not divulge, she was insisting that the four kings not be separated again. Beryl snorted at this – it had been Metallia who had insisted Zoisite be kept out of the hierarchy, even though he had been one of Endymion’s original generals. Metallia had insisted he be sent to the Far Side of the Dark Kingdom, and kept from his brother and the two other kings who would later become his teachers, then his enemy and his lover.

Now, though, she still wanted Zoisite as the fourth king, and she wanted Phoebe as the High Priestess of Galadriel, a strange spirit warped by the negative space of the Dark Kingdom. Then, Phoebe’s physical form could be heightened to such a level that she could take Metallia into herself. Phoebe herself was too pure of heart to have Metallia in her, but once corrupted by Galadriel, she would be ready.

Beryl had protested – if the ‘goodness’ in Phoebe’s heart was to be destroyed, the best way to do it would be through her growing enmity towards Zoisite – her rival for Kunzite’s affections.

A nice little homicide should be enough to drive Phoebe to become Phenakite in spirit as well as name.

But Metallia said she needed Zoisite alive. And what Metallia said…

Beryl warped to the chamber, and knelt before the strange, pulsing purple mass in the red structure. "There is another way," she hissed to Beryl. "If you cannot infect her through hatred, destroy her through her love."

"How?" Beryl asked simply.

"Kunzite, you fool. That King of yours is her knight on a golden pedestal. She loves him blindly…she will go to him, if he calls. And he is cold, as cold as night. If they were to become lovers, he would bleed his darkness into her. This process of changing is essentially sexual – if these two join, she will yield to him. Not because his power is stronger – for even Kunzite is still slightly human inside – but because she will do whatever it takes to be by his side. If she becomes his lover, his evil will become their evil. This bonding could prove fatal in the end, for Kunzite anyway, but it will bring Phenakite to the fore. Separating them once they are one will prove difficult, but it can be done. A Priestess, after all, must remain celibate. I think my only problem now is Leucite – but his parents should keep him entertained while I do her."

"But…my queen, what of Zoisite?"

Metallia sounded both bored and annoyed. "What of Zoisite? I will not allow her to be killed, she is needed. If you want Endymion in your bed, I suggest you keep his honour guard intact – AND OBEY MY ORDERS!"

"I am meaning…Kunzite and Zoisite. I believe their relationship extends deeper than mere bedroom sport. I almost believe they…love each other."

"Ha! I can fix that. Do you not recall Kunzite’s phobia? Of homosexuals? He’s never been fond of the division."

"What are you implying?"

"You made Zoisite female so that she could act on her attraction to Kunzite without fear of rejection, in order to awaken Phoebe’s jealousy. It hasn’t worked – because of that meddling changeling – but this will. This will separate Kunzite and Zoisite, and bring together Kunzite and Phenakite, and then she shall be my implementor. I will devise a way later to keep Kunzite alive during the separation.

"This change in plan wouldn’t have been necessary if Zoisite was as expendable as I had first believed. But these four are a nexus more powerful than I first thought. Leucite may or may not be a problem…but I think daddy is quite irate with him. It should be fine."

Beryl smiled, her eyes glinting with malicious enjoyment. She knew what to do.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Zoisite snuggled closer into his arms, letting one arm drift slowly down her lover’s side, running gentle, long fingers down the smooth skin, feeling the taut muscles beneath. His bed was a marvellous construction, a beautiful shell-shaped bed that was eight feet in diameter, soft as silk and more comfortable than a cloud. It was surrounded by soft, gauzy silk curtains, and heavier velvet could also be pulled around it. Needless to say, they spent a lot of time there.

"I love you, Kunzaito-sama," she whispered into his ear, and he moved beside her, awakening slowly. "Zoi..?"

"Who else, my love, my koibito?" she murmured, planting a kiss on his forehead. "Where would I be without you? I can’t live without you…you’re a part of me. Every part of me."

Sleepily, he pulled the younger woman into his strong arms, and she laid her head against his chest, coppery hair falling about him like a golden river at dawn. His heart felt near bursting point, with his love so near, so tangible, such a part of him.

"I love you too," he whispered back, entwining his bare fingers in her vast hair. "Forever."

They were both startled out of their comfortable reverie when Beryl screamed in their minds ‘KUNZITE! ZOISITE! THRONE ROOM NOW!’

"Oi, that hurt," groaned Zoisite as the pair sat bolt up right in the bed, the blankets falling from both their bare torsos. Kunzite smiled wickedly.

"I do suggest, little seito, that you put on some clothes – otherwise, I can’t be held responsible for my actions."

She waggled a playful finger at him. "Oh, but you are a naughty boy." She batted his head as they got up, and he had to fight to keep from taking her again right there. They quickly dressed, and teleported to the throne room – separately.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Zoisite appeared seconds after Kunzite – and found the throne room empty, save for she, Beryl and Kunzite. No other King, no other commander, no other youma was present. Unusual.

"I suppose you’re wondering why I have summoned you here," she hissed in a low voice, unmistakable glee in her voice. It made Zoisite shift uncomfortably. Beryl happy meant one of three things – anarchy, bedlam or chaos. The third sounded highly likely.

"I have been thinking, and I have decided to make a few changes around here."

Zoisite stiffened – she couldn’t mean…she was taking her out of the four kings! She was giving someone else her place, because she and Kunzite hadn’t heeded her warnings…oh god, who was it?

"Zoisite, my love," said Beryl cruelly, causing Zoisite’s emerald eyes to widen in shocked alarm. What was Beryl talking about? "You are very pretty…but not quite my type. Not now, anyway. But…things change."

The hot energy flowed through her body without warning, and with a cry, he sank to the floor in a heap, Kunzite leaping to his side with an anguished cry of "Zoisite?!"

"Relax," snickered Beryl, impressed by her own handiwork. "Take him away, if you please, Kunzite."

His platinum eyes had gone stark, bleak.

His koibito, his wonderful radiant angel of darkness was…a man.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Zoisite first became aware of pain. Pain that filled the world. She didn’t want to wake up, but she soon discovered that with each inch of consciousness gained, a little bit of that pain went away. Just enough to make her feel that waking up was a good thing to be doing.

Kunzite sat in a velvet armchair at the side of her bed – they were in her chambers. Strange. Generally they preferred his more opulent chambers in his citadel, to Zoisite’s grand suite of rooms in the house of residence near Beryl’s palace. But…as long as her was here, what else mattered?

But he sat so silently, eyes so emotionless, far away in both thought and physical means.

"Kunzaito-sama…koibito," she murmured, and she wondered at his grimace. She reached out delicate fingers to touch his muscular thighs. A cold chill wrapped around her heart as he flinched away, like the gentle touch would poison him.

A sliver of fear poked its way into her heart. "Kunzaito-dono…sensei, what is it? What is wrong?" She struggled into a sitting position, reaching out long arms to touch her mentor, her lover. He moved backward ungainly, with an unusual lack of grace, almost as though she repulsed him.

Zoisite felt…different, somehow. Like her body didn’t fit right. She hadn’t felt this way since…

The loud howl that ripped from his throat woke Kunzite from his trance, where he had stood five feet away from the bed, staring blankly at the smaller man. His eyes darkened, sadness, confusion, distaste moving through them like stones in a kaleidoscope.

Huddled into a ball, Zoisite cowered against the pile of pillows against the mahogany headband. His face was buried in his crossed arms, sobs escaping from his constricted throat at irregular intervals. Pure terror, great sorrow were the emotions emanating from the fallen figure, as he tried to drown out the cruel world by withdrawing into himself, denying reality.

And as his lover fell deeper into his own distraught mind, Kunzite also moved backward, removing himself from the emotional outpouring of chaotic distress. He had never been one for such blatant displays of emotion…

Choking on a sob, Zoisite’s head snapped up, pale cheeks splotched with red, eyes salty with tears. Wounded, emerald eyes gazed upon him reproachfully, like a child that has been wronged, terribly wronged.

"What is…HAPPENING TO ME?" The broken tone of his words tore Kunzite’s heart into shreds. Their time together had given them a bond, something that transcended physical laws, logic, and even reason itself. Through the nexus, Kunzite could sense the loss of Zoisite’s memories…the Silver Millennium was fading from his mind like an overdeveloped photograph, and things changed.

"Hold me," he whimpered, tears spilling down his once again pale cheeks, paler than even the stark whiteness of a hospital. Like a bat out of hell, Zoisite launched himself from his foetal position on the bed, lunging towards Kunzite. With his arms out stretched, he was desperately searching for a friendly port in this horrifying typhoon.

Kunzite involuntarily side-stepped, and Zoisite lost his already delicate balance, falling at his feet. Looking down at Zoisite, he felt…pity? Regret? Disappointment? …love?

Lower lip trembling, Zoisite looked up at the tall, stately figure, so simple and distinguished in his glacial good looks. Never before had Kunzite seen such betrayal, such utter pain in someone’s eyes. Absolute agony was in his emerald gaze, as he looked at the man who had just rejected him, thrown away everything that they had ever shared.

"Koibito?" Such longing, such confusion. Zoisite was hurt beyond the surface, now an ice crystal of fear was slowly, but surely, impaling his already delicate heart.

Unable to speak, Kunzite could only gaze, detached, at his student. Emotions flickered in his heart – he wanted to take the man into his arms, feel his body against his, revel in the love that they could bring about…but the same old revulsion had returned.

But you love him, said a low voice in his deadened mind. Love transcends silly preferences…don’t let Beryl take it away from you! You love him, and you can’t change who you love and who you don’t!

"Cry, cry, cry for me," wept Zoisite into his hands, staining his gloves with salty tears. Kunzite only watched, listening to his near hysterical student, who now seemed to believe he was trapped in a dream and not the truth. He murmured softly to himself, talking to himself, almost forgetting the presence of his sensei. For a moment.

He looked up at Kunzite with sightless eyes. "If you no longer…why did you come here?" His voice was steady, but pained as he looked desperately for the answer that could fuel his hope.

Why did you come? taunted an inner voice. I think you know. He pushed it aside, and said emotionlessly, "I thought I owed you at least that much."

He could have slapped Zoisite, ripped out his heart and stomped on it – it would have had the same effect as his words. Zoisite let out a strangled cry, face falling, eyes streaming tears as he threw himself to the floor, and began weeping uncontrollably.

Roses – why did he think of roses? Why did the heaped form of his former lover make him think of roses?

______________________________________________________________________________________

His lounge room in the east wing was dark, as he liked it. Darkness would wrap welcome fingers around his mind, drag him away to oblivion. It wouldn’t judge, it wouldn’t condone. It was his faith, his escape. From the hurt he didn’t believe existed in himself. The pain that separation from Zoisite had brought.

And the rose. One of his roses, from that goddamn garden, where they had walked, talked, made love…a garden of shadows. He thought then of a human song he had once heard…the last words. ‘Suffer my desire, suffer my desire, suffer my desire…for you. For you. For you…’

He couldn’t want him now! It was impossible, he didn’t love Zoisite. He had loved the female Zoisite…she was different, more alive somehow. She had changed the famous "Ice King"…it was with her, and only her, that he had been able to show pure, true emotion. Memories could do so much…

"BAKA!" shrieked a voice from the darkness, and he felt strong hands shake him from his stupor. Where he had sat alone in his chair.

Opening his eyes warily, he found himself staring into the fury of Phenakite. Without warning, she drew back a slight hand, and delivered a stinging slap to his cheek. Without thought, he automatically retaliated by dragging her into a headlock.

She simply elbowed him in the groin – enough to make even the strongest of men falter. Groaning, doubling over in agony, he released Phenakite, who sounded as if she was choking.

However, adrenaline had kicked in, and breathlessness wasn’t going to slow her down any. She threw herself at him, propelling him towards his couch, where he collapsed. She stood over him, eyes wide in fury.

"What in the hell are you doing, Kunzite?!" she screamed, the red marks from his fingers standing out against her pale throat.

"Phenakite?" he gasped, still in pain. "What are YOU doing? Get a grip!"

All the anger suddenly drained from her face, and she looked lost, alone…innocent, like she hadn’t understood what had happened to her. She threw herself down beside Kunzite, looking like she might begin to weep at any second. Then the anger came back.

"Oh, Kunzite, how could you do that to him?" she asked, eyes flashing. Kunzite groaned in pain as he stood, moving over to the tall cupboard, pulling out a crystal decanter, filled with a red liquid. He poured it into a shot glass, and downed it in one, pouring another. Phenakite stood, and took the decanter from him. Without warning, she smashed it on the floor. "Damn you, listen to me when I’m talking to you!"

He stared at the glass, and put it down with a sigh. "Why are you here?"

"I have been at the hall of residence, Yasborough."

He shuddered. "What were you doing there, Phenakite-hime? Your chambers are in the palace."

"I visited Zoisite – and after a lot of searching, found him crouching in a corner of his third walk-in wardrobe, almost comatose. He was so distressed, it wouldn’t speak, wouldn’t listen to me…until I asked where you were. The he started wailing, crying, and I had to sit with him for the next hour, listening to his tales of betrayal, before I could finally get him to go to sleep."

"And why do I care, Phenakite? Leave me be."

"You reject my help? Kunzite, what is wrong with you? Can’t you see? He loves you! And no matter how far you try to run from it, you still love Zoisite, and you always will."

"How do you know this, Phenakite? Remember what you told me? Things change…always they change. You are the fool."

Her face became a mask of sorrow. "Turn me away if you must, Kunzite. I can accept defeat. But Zoisite needs you, loves you. Now he may be drowning in his sorrow, but soon, he will be filled with a lust for vengeance…for absolution. He will kill you in his rage, then he will kill himself in his grief."

"I hardly think Zoisite would ever get the better of me in battle."

"But I would," she said in a low voice. "Oh, maybe I am a fool. I could destroy Beryl, but I never will, because…of…" he voice faltered, then gathered strength. "You know in your heart you still love him. Why can’t you put this pride aside, and take him back? You told him you loved him…in this lifetime and the last! Kunzite, don’t hide from him! You will never escape him! Morganite was different – you could recover from that. But if you continue to push him away, you both will perish! Do not persist in this foolish pride! It will only destroy you."

He bowed his head. "I am already destroyed, Phenakite. I died a thousand years ago. Don’t get involved in things you don’t understand."

She laughed lightly. "The Dark Kingdom flunky is telling me I don’t understand love? Don’t make me laugh."

Kunzite sighed heavily, and sat down on his couch. "Phenakite, I can’t do it." He sounded so small, so vulnerable. Phenakite suddenly wondered why she was doing this – this was her opportunity to take him, make him her own.

Two faces stopped her - the heartbroken visage of Zoisite, and the concerned face of Leucite. Somehow, she knew that if she took him, she would fall, and not get up.

She would cease to be. And then Nemesis really would be lost forever.

"Yes you can. You love him, you know you do. And he will always love you. He won’t reject you as you rejected him. He has already forgiven you."

He stood, raising pained eyes to Phenakite. "Gomen nasai, princess. I will try…for what we once had. For my precious little seito, my koibito…"

He teleported abruptly, and Phenakite sighed. She knew what she had just done was right…but she still couldn’t let him go. And she wouldn’t continue her plans for destroying Beryl – she had wrongly assumed that Kunzite’s loyalties lay only towards his queen. It was a mistake that would cost her her sanity.

______________________________________________________________________________________

The wards were up in force, but he proceeded through them easily. Zoisite had never been overly concerned about security in his chambers, even with Nephrite loose. They both feared Beryl’s wrath on that topic.

A single light burned in Zoisite’s bedroom, the tall, wide windows looking out over the plains that lay before Beryl’s palace. The room was populated by a vanity table, three full length mirrors, and two closets, and several velvet chairs lined in gold. A large, four poster bed was in the middle of the wall opposite the front door, the curtains drawn back, the dim light casting long shadows.

A tiny, childlike form was sleeping alone there, curled up like he was desperately alone. And he was. His cheeks glimmered as his tears caught the light, murmuring in his fitful sleep…about his loss. His koibito.

"Oh, Zoisite," he said sadly kneeling beside the bed, reaching out with a shaking hand to touch his hair with a feathery light finger.

This slight touch broke Zoisite out of his nightmare as if Kunzite had hit him. His eyes flew open, and he sat up in amazement, the ice crystal dissipating as he recognised his midnight visitor. "Kunzaito-sama…"

"Only I, Zoiseito-chan, my little seito, my koibito…I love you," he whispered, shaking like a leaf, his emotions so intense he felt as if he might pass out. It was certainly a change from his usual calm. But this was not a normal situation.

He looked at him sadly, the blankets wrapped about his waist as he regarded him with pained eyes. "How can I believe you, sensei? After all you have done to me? You broke my heart." His eyes filled with tears. "You left me alone with my pain, my hurt, and a part of me died, Kunzaito-sama. But even though I know it will only destroy me, I still love you…oh, gods how I love you…but I can’t stay with you if all you are going to do is hurt me. I may be stupid, I may be blind, but I am not going to be walked over by you. Even if I would throw away my life for you."

"So – it is over. You love me, but push me away. Zoiseito-chan…why? I still love you, and I’m sorry…"

"Sometimes, sorry isn’t good enough. Sometimes, I do make the right decisions. I will not be hurt anymore."

"I don’t want to hurt you," he whispered, and he finally let the tears he had in his own eyes spill down his cheeks. Zoisite looked at him from his position on the bed, and against his better judgement, moved over to his former lover. He ran a finger down his cheek, and tasted the tear. "Why are you crying?"

"I don’t know," he said hoarsely, still kneeling at his beside, admiring the younger man’s muscular chest in the dim golden light. "Oh, but I have been a fool…"

"You told me crying was weak, was pointless," he said, confused. "How could I hurt you? You are an ice king, you need no one. You feel no pain."

"How can you say that?! Do you think I wanted to leave you? I just did…I love you, but something made me leave!"

"Maybe it was right to make you, Kunzite." He turned away, and snuggled down into his pillows, his own tears streaming down pale cheeks. "Just go away. We were never meant to be. The Dark Kingdom is no place for love – look at you and Morganite."

"This has nothing to do with her – this is between me and you."

"What you and I? We are finished, complete. It had to happen, there’s no sense in dragging it all out. Go away, find some one else who wants you – for I surely don’t."

"That’s not true."

"It isn’t?" Zoisite looked up, and turned back to him. He was still weeping silently, and Zoisite too, had tears on his cheeks. "You are right, sensei, as you always are. I still love you, want you, need you. But I am no good for you."

"What do you mean?"

"Look at me," he said simply. "I am a man, Kunzite. A man. Do you seriously believe that I can give you children in this form? And I can never be female again – only Beryl holds that power in her hands. I am like this – forever."

"And I am yours – forever," he murmured, standing slowly. "I don’t care about that – I want you, I’ve always wanted you! Zoisite, please, don’t turn me away now."

He burst into fresh sobs. "Go away, Kunzite! What do you think I am, a saint? I can’t resist you, it hurts me! I can’t keep on resisting you for much longer, just go away…leave me be, just…"

"I will never leave you again, koibito," he murmured, and he took the younger man back into his arms, and held him tightly.

"You are a fool to think it will work," he said, the words an echo from what seemed like another time.

Kunzite laughed, choking back his own tears. "I told you that – and I was wrong. Now it’s your turn to be wrong."

"Oh, sensei," he moaned, falling against his chest, continuing to weep. "I…I thought I had lost you."

"Never." He kissed him long and deep, and their relieved tears mingled as they lay back down. After the kiss ended, Zoisite slipped back into the crook of the other man’s arm, and fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

Kunzite smiled sleepily, and pulled the other closer, murmuring as he did so, "Oh koibito, I love you more than life itself…where would I be without you?"

"Mmm?" stirred the king. "What is it, sempai?"

"I wanted to give you this," he said softly, and handed him a pretty pink rose.

"Oh sensei, it’s so beautiful…" he said, barely audible in his half sleep. Kunzite smiled, and let the man go back to sleep, his childlike features finally peaceful once more.

He had to admit, that sometimes, things did work out after all. And maybe one day, they could find the absolution they had always desired since that terrible day a thousand years ago. Then, and only then, would they truly be together.

Forever.

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