I’ve been at this too long…excuse me while I go and hit the prozac, ;)

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Usagi stared blankly at the exam paper before her, the words blurring into an incomprehensible mess. Though, for once, her problems were not the direct result of her own incompetence, or more realistically, or lack of study. She had other things on her mind.

Minako-chan, for one. The pretty blonde Senshi, usually so vibrant, so very alive, had become cocooned in a strange little world of her own grief and pain. For reasons Usagi didn’t understand, the "death" of Phoebe Loxley had hit the child of Venus the hardest. It was almost as if she had lost a piece of herself.

Usagi ached within herself as she thought of what she knew, that which she had to keep a secret from her comrades. It was a promise she intended to honour, a promise made to Phenakite on the night of the accident.

Something got in her eyes – Mamo-chan. She had to visit him after school, at his apartment. He had been discharged relatively quickly – his injuries were semi-serious, but not lethal.

Minako, however, was another matter.

______________________________________________________________________ ________________

Ami was waiting for Usagi outside detention, and as per usual, she was making the most of her time. She leaned against the wall, a heavy textbook in her hands. She appeared enthralled by it, and Usagi made a face as she caught sight of the title. "The principles of advanced physics? Ami-chan, can’t you ever just stop studying?"

"I’m just making up for people like you, Usagi, who never study," replied Ami, slamming the text closed. But it was in a friendly tone that her words were spoken. Her eyes, however, belied another story.

"Is there something wrong, Ami-chan?" she asked tentatively, though she knew it was a stupid question.

Shoulders sagging, she agreed with a heavy nod of her head. "Yes…it’s about Minako…she’s still not going to school, or even leaving her house. I went over to see her, I skipped computer class to do it-"

"Whoa," interrupted Usagi, blue eyes even wider than usual. "You skipped class?"

"Usagi-chan, please," Ami spoke in a voice that betrayed her emotions tenfold. Usagi could see that this mystery was tearing her apart. "I don’t know how to help her, because I don’t know what’s wrong…I don’t understand what Phoebe was to her."

Usagi thought back to her final conversation with Phoebe, then Phenakite, and wondered, too. Why would the death of Phoebe hit Minako so hard, and with such a passionate impact? Emotions were apt to run wild with the death of any friend, but Minako and Phoebe hadn’t been that good friends. Or had they?

"She kinda caused a scene at the funeral, huh?" she said in a low voice, looking at the uncarpeted floor, instead of Ami. She could tell without looking that Ami was flicking through the pages of her book, out of nervousness. She was helpless, they all were. Only Usagi knew the truth behind Phoebe, and it crossed her mind that maybe, possibly Minako had known about her…but that was silly. She wished fervently she could tell Ami-chan about Phenakite, but a promise made should be a promise kept.

"I don’t understand it," said Ami thickly, obviously not far from tears. The Senshi were like blood kin – when one hurt, they all hurt. And Minako was in deep pain.

"Neither do I," added Usagi softly, without raising her eyes to meet Ami’s. They would have betrayed her delicate knowledge otherwise.

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"I was never given a chance to live."

"I can’t stay here, both you and I know it."

"This isn’t my home."

"This isn’t me."

"Why do I have to stay here?"

"An angel trapped in a hellish prison?"

"What did I ever do to you?"

"Except live?"

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Usagi screamed as she bolted out of her dream, and sat up, as stiff as a metal rod, in her messy bed. The covers were tangled around her waist, her pajamas askew, and damp with sweat.

The nightmare had been so vivid…faces, faces she knew, a voice she knew, speaking with such helplessness, an incredible pain, and tears, a river of tears that couldn’t wash away the patterns of suffering wrapped into the fabric of the world from which she had spoken.

Phoebe had spoken to her. From where ever she now was.

"Usagi-chan, are you all right?" came her mother’s voice from her open bedroom door. Her father stood beside her, and they both looked concerned. "A nightmare?"

"Yeah, mama. Just a nightmare," Usagi breathed heavily, running her hand through the crazy tangle that was her hair. She knew she must look like a total witch.

"Just…a dream." She wished she could swallow the words that sounded so shallow and weak to her own ears, that her parents bought without question. She knew there was more to this than she would ever really know. But she intended to find out.

Luna sat and watched her parents leave the room, and when she was convinced they were really out of earshot, she turned on Usagi rapidly, her eyes wide. "What the hell was that all about, Usagi-chan? And don’t even try to lie to me – I heard you screaming in your sleep. About Phenakite…"

"Yeah…" she murmured quietly, her mind in turmoil as she tried to fit together the confused fragments she had been given through the surreal link. Nothing came to her.

At least, nothing she could use.

______________________________________________________________________ ________________

Pounding the pavement like a gazelle on steroids, Usagi whined in her most annoying, high pitched voice, "I’m SOOOOOOO late! Luna, why didn’ t you wake me?"

"You ask me this every morning, and it’s always the same answer!" snapped back the little black cat, looking at Usagi with a degree of genuine annoyance. "I told you to get up, and you ignored me!"

"Then why didn’t you try harder?!"

"It was too early in the morning for your decibel-breaking wailing!"

A really smart retort was smothered when Usagi splattered herself on the pavement, having not noticed the upraised crack in the pavement. Sitting on her bruised knees, she instantly launched into her wailing mode, while Luna sat away, her expression dark.

"And this is my moon princess…for god’s sake, Usagi-chan, would you quit that racket? It’s enough to wake the dead!"

"Are you okay, odango atama?" came a concerned voice from behind the cat, and she was abruptly startled out of her sobbing, with a mighty hiccup. Mamoru shook his head, though his features were soft. "Why can ’t you ever stay on two feet for more than a hundred metres?"

"Shove it, Mamo-chan!" snapped Usagi, but she, too, held no rancour in her voice. She smiled benignly at the dark haired young man, dressed in complete black, except for a white sling on his injured right arm. "How are you, anyway?"

Shrugging, Mamoru’s unspoken words were interrupted when he caught sight of something that obviously boggled his mind.

"What is it?"

"It’s that Sanjouin mansion…where Phoebe lived. It looks like her parents are selling it."

A tremble pulsed through her body as she heard the girl’s name spoken aloud, and she had to work furiously to keep the same from entering her voice. "Really…" she gasped as she saw the sign before her, in front of the driveway. The house itself was darkly shadowed by tall trees, little illumination reached the mausoleum-like structure.

Mamoru uncharacteristically shuddered as he observed the building. "I can’t imagine how anyone could live in that, that…tomb. Even though…he ’s long gone, there still must be dark energy infiltrating every inch of that place."

Usagi looked concerned, and Mamoru caught the expression quite easily, though he didn’t understand it. "Is there something wrong, Usa-chan?"

"I’m not sure…I kind of miss Phoebe, that’s all. I didn’t know her, not like the other Senshi, but there was an aura about her – she was special, somehow."

Mamoru looked at the ground, and Usagi knew what emotion was tugging at the back of his mind. Guilt.

"See you, Usagi-chan," he said suddenly, and turned violently on one heel, practically running from her. Shocked, and baffled, Usagi wasted precious moments watching Mamoru leave. Then…

"SHIT!" she cursed, completely out of character. Luna scowled, and looked at the sky.

"I asked it once, and I’ll ask again – this is my moon princess?!"

______________________________________________________________________ ________________

"I still don’t understand why you’re doing this, Usagi-chan," grumbled Luna, as the pair hid outside the gates to the Sanjouin mansion. "I promised Artemis I’d try to talk some sense into Minako-chan, or at least, get some out of her, but instead, I’m here, with you, wasting time!"

"Put a sock in it, Luna," hissed Usagi, but for once, she didn’t mind Luna’s criticism, for she knew she was right. Minako honestly needed her help right now, and she was wasting time outside the house of a dead king. "I have an idea."

"I’m afraid to ask," moaned Luna, burying her face in her paws.

With a giggle, Usagi whipped out the Luna pen, and Luna groaned. "I’ve told you a million times, Usagi – the Luna Pen is for Senshi business only!"

"This is Senshi business!" Dressed still in her school uniform, though now the time was at least five in the afternoon, Usagi thrust the fat pink pen into the air, and shouted "Disguise power! Turn me into a totally babed-out business woman!"

Luna sighed and closed her eyes against the flashing lights of the transformation, and when she opened them, instead of Tsukino Usagi, klutzoid of the century, she saw a trim, well dressed blonde woman, wearing a smart violet business suit, her hair pulled neatly off her face in a tight French plait.

"How do I look?" she squealed as she jumped up and down in excitement, the action and words totally clashing with her new persona.

"And the point of this is?" asked Luna dryly, her mind still on Minako.

"I arranged an appointment with the real estate agent," Usagi confided quietly, kneeling beside Luna in the shadowy depths of the forest-like garden. "I’m going to have a snoop around this place – after all, Phenakite did live here for awhile before she left."

"She’s gone, Usagi – and I doubt she’d be dumb enough to leave her things just lying around where someone like you could find them. It’d be too easy."

"Hmph," snorted Usagi, and took off down the winding driveway. Presently, the silent house loomed ominously before her prone figure. She hadn’t realised it would be so intimidating once you got right up to it.

"Miss Tsukino, I presume?" came a voice, and she turned, startled, to face a young man in his early twenties, obviously the assigned agent. "Come, I have a lot to show you. This is truly a remarkable house, once owned by Masato Sanjouin. It was once a simple rectory, and there is a cathedral built onto the house, and Mr Sanjouin himself added to the house..."

As the young man droned on with his well-known speech, Usagi let her gaze wander. The house was even darker inside – what was wrong, had Nephrite been window-phobic? It certainly seemed that way. All the rooms contained antiques, dark mahogany furniture, and deep-woven tapestries of dark shades.

The one room that really caught her attention, however, was The Hall.

"This room has always stood empty since the cathedral was hut down and abandoned – or so I understand, at any rate. It was once the main chamber of the cathedral, though the furniture has been removed. It has a certain atmosphere to it, don’t you agree?"

Trembling, Usagi nodded. The real estate agent appeared perplexed as to the nature of the feelings this place evoked, but Usagi knew them well. This room was reeking with negative energy.

"May I see the bedrooms now?" she asked sweetly, playing her part for all she was worth. It wouldn’t do to let the man see how badly this place was toying with her mind. It seemed she could hear voices in the musty air, see spectres in the shadowy corners, and feel emotions she wouldn’t have believed possible.

"This was Mr Sanjouin’s room," he said quietly, allowing her into the room. She had to gasp, despite her determination to retain a cool, elegant poise.

The room was truly regal, with thick carpeting that cushioned her ankles as her feet sank into its deep wool, huge velvet curtains, matching the heavy duvet on the large, four poster bed. Mahogany furniture, obviously part of the scheme of the entire house, made up the majority of furniture throughout the spacious room.

"All his things have been taken away," said the real estate agent, and Usagi jumped. It was almost as if the man had read her mind.

He let her explore for a few minutes on her own after that. Usagi peered into a get deal of rooms, most of them had an abandoned, unused feel. She doubted that either Nephrite or Phenakite had actually used any of rooms in the western wing. Or even the east wing.

Except one room.

Tiny, it housed but one slender bed, on which was draped a midnight blue coverlet, neatly made as if the sleeper would soon return. The desk was tidy, but on it, were pens, paper, and all those kind of office things.

Phoebe’s room! screamed a voice in her head. This was Phoebe’s room!

Moving quickly, she pulled open the drawers, sifting through the contents, To her immense disappointment, she found nothing. She felt in her heart somewhere that she was meant to find something, but goddamn if she knew what it was!

"Usagi-chan!" hissed a voice from near the floor, and Usagi had to stifle a scream. She instead settled for falling flat on her butt.

"Kso…you scared the crap out of me , Luna!" hissed Usagi once she had enough breath to gasp out her anger. "What the hell are you doing?"

Luna’s eyes were big and dark, and Usagi’s anger softened when she saw the sadness in her eyes. "Usagi-chan, I know that you want to find out the truth behind Phoebe, but really…it’s Minako-chan who needs you now. Where ever Phenakite is, she’s okay…I have a feeling that that girl knows what she’s doing."

"I know, Luna…but it was those dreams, like I had last night. I have to find out what they mean."

"Then I don’t know why you’re here, Usagi-chan. There is no possible way Phenakite would leave anything of any use to anyone just lying around her old house. And Nephrite…I’m sure one of his youma would have cleaned up after he died. Or maybe Zoisite or even Kunzite did it."

"I guess you’re right…I suppose we could go over to Minako’s now. Are the other Senshi there, do you know?"

"Ami-chan told me she was going over there, and Rei-chan won’t be, she has work as per usual. Mako-chan will probably be there, and Artemis hasn’t left her side since the funeral."

The agent came upon his potential buyer, kneeling on the floor of the room that had belonged to the dead daughter of the previous owners. A dark cat sat before her. If he hadn’t known better, he would have believed that Tsukino-san was talking to it.

"Oh, hello," Usagi said in surprise, looking up. "Is it time for me to go?"

"If you’re finished looking around," he said carefully, ignoring the cat.

"There’s just one more thing," said Usagi firmly, not knowing where the words were coming from. She had the uneasy feeling that someone was speaking through her. "In the garden."

______________________________________________________________________ ________________

Minako was staring blankly out the window, while Artemis sat at her side, concern deeply etched into his feline features. Makoto and Ami sat cross legged on the floor, not really knowing what to say to Minako. Her silence was unnerving, her pain almost tangible.

"You guys…" she said quietly, finally turning to the group. They snapped to attention, eyes lighting up. Artemis had warned them not to upset her by making the first move, so it was a relief that Minako had decided to bring it up herself.

"I know you don’t understand what’s happening to me…and I don’t either. But there is one thing I do know," she tacked on the end, almost as if it were an afterthought.

"What?" asked Ami, her voice light as she tried not to sound too desperate for answers.

"The Dark Kingdom is not dead – it’s only sleeping. And I think it’s ready to wake up."

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"We’re wasting time," hissed Luna as the man led them on a tour of the gardens. "Why are we out here?"

"I’m not sure," Usagi whispered back, not looking at her guardian. Instead, her big blue eyes were enthralled by the darkness of the tall trees, and the bright flowers poking out of the dirt, their colours almost garish against the darkness of the foliage. She hadn’t known it could be so dark this time of day.

She was sure soon, though. The voice that had spoken through her earlier had surely been someone else’s – someone who knew the score.

"I hadn’t realised this was here!" gasped the man, as the three gazed, awestruck, into the huge clearing. It was dominated by a huge gazebo, painted in a startling white, with warm green vines dripping off it in all directions, lightly patterned with pink blossoms that both Usagi and Luna recognised.

Letting them fall harmlessly through trembling fingers, Usagi could remember all too well when these blossoms had caused pain.

Enchanted by this unexpected sight, the man wandered around the immense structure, absolutely struck dumb. Usagi used the opportunity to duck inside.

It was almost empty, all but for a glass on the far side, on the chair against the wall. Sniffing it, Usagi realised it was wine – although it had been sitting here for quite some time. Putting it down gently, for the glass looked horrendously expensive, and Usagi knew what a klutz she could be, she noticed for the first time the gold-bound book beside the chair, free of dust or grime. She knew instantly it must have belonged to Phoebe, for anything of Nephrite’s wouldn’t be here.

Putting it into her handbag furtively, she hoped that the man hadn’t seen her do it. Luna’s sharp eyes, of course, missed nothing.

______________________________________________________________________ ________________

"It’s a diary!" gasped Usagi, sitting on the floor of her room, clothes and restored to normal. She wanted to get into it right away, but the restless pacing of Luna quelled her enthusiasm. "Oh, right. Minako-chan."

Sighing, Luna shook her head. "It’s not just that, Usagi-chan. It’s this whole Phenakite thing – you’re just going to dredge up a whole mess of old demons. Why can’t you just leave it? Phenakite may have been a nicer person than the four kings, but that doesn’t make her an angel who needs avenged. Just let her be."

"Damare!" snapped Usagi, opening the diary in defiance. "Would you just shut up already?"

"And least she didn’t wail," said Luna to herself, but Usagi caught it, and familiar tears pricked her eyelids.

"Why are you always so mean…" she started wailing, and Luna cringed. Now she’d done it.

Leaping over to the window, Luna cast one long look back at the wailing Usagi. "I’ll be back later tonight – and I’ll tell the other Senshi that I had managed to convince you to do your homework for once, and I didn’t want to interrupt you."

Abruptly, Usagi stopped. "And you think they’ll believe you?"

"No," said Luna, almost apathetically. "But anything’s possible, I guess. But Usagi-chan, don’t say I didn’t warn you. The Dark Kingdom is much different to our universe, and you won’t understand them."

"I’ll make my own mistakes," Usagi said in a decidedly uncharacteristic manner, and looked away from Luna. She hated disobeying her, but some things had to be done.

______________________________________________________________________ ________________

The diary was written in Japanese, a complete surprise to Usagi. Then she decided it wasn’t, not really. The diary began on the day that Phenakite had obviously first arrived in Tokyo. She had only been trying to adapt to her new, alien surroundings, and it made sense. She spoke briefly about her first day at Minako’s school, and to Usagi’s surprise, she mentioned Minako numerous times. Mostly about how she seemed to have an unusual aura about her. And her constant shadow, the little white cat.

Skipping down the page, she was a little disappointed not to see the names of any of the kings – actually, there was no mention of the kings at all.

It was more than made up for on the next page. In what sounded like a hysterical raving mood, Phenakite had poured her heart out onto the page, mainly about how her heart was falling to pieces in her chest, and how much she despised Zoisite – then, contradicting herself, she went on to say how much she respected and admired Zoisite.

As I stand beneath the emptiness of forgotten skies, I want for nothing - except tears. A river of tears, however, couldn’t heal these wounds.

Maybe I should sleep, drown in a sea of unknowingness. Reality, surrealism...which side are the dreams really on? If I sleep, will I ever wake up?

I can feel the cool breeze on my limbs, my skirts fan gently about my legs. My hair falls into my upturned eyes, watching the sky. Yes, I have been wronged in my angel life.

In a desperate moment of loneliness, I wrap my arms about myself, holding my heart in my chest. If no one else will do it for me, I will. I will believe in me - and then, I will survive. Underneath a sky that was once blue.

I feel him approach, his usually confident steps faltering. Walking in paths that were once beautiful, he stands with me, looking out over the cliff’s edge, at the city of lost angels, crumbled in its foundations.

Like the ancient, human city of Atlantis.

Reading the passage that was obviously a memory, she knew who the ‘he’ was. Kunzite. This must have been just before she left the Dark Kingdom, and descended to earth. It seemed her love was much stronger than Usagi had first believed.

I speak now in riddles that even I do not understand, and if I try to make sense of it, I fear I would not even want to know. I am not human, I never was, and never will be. No one, except maybe him, understands anything about me. Though they pretend. Lies, the foundation of our so-called evil society. I’ll pretend, too. To know that there’s an end to this beginning - and that maybe I’ll be forgiven.

I have killed, but does that alone make me a murderer? Some say yes, the ones who have to point self-righteous fingers our way just to be real, to feel something. But that was our very inclination, what forced us to be less than what we should have been. We are more that we have become, but nobody cares. Now we are nobodies.

They call it the circle of life; they use it to justify all that they do. However, when we use it in our own defence, we are brushed off, belittled, told to stop our lying. We know what we are; we aren’t denying the truth. We are denying how it has been twisted to make us seem monsters.

Shuddering as she read the words, she realised that this had been written in the Dark Kingdom – Phenakite had returned. She hadn’t told Usagi that! Maybe it didn’t mean much…but she had seen Kunzite one more time than she had lead Usagi to believe.

After that, the diaries fell out of their melancholy surrealism, and into a sarcastic parody of human life. Usagi found Phenakite’s snide comments about humans a tad irritating, seeing as Phoebe had been such a nice person, but she knew deep down somewhere, that Phenakite didn’t really mean most of it. She was just hurting, for what had she lost. Her old home, her new home, her love, and her heritage. She had every right to be pissed.

Usagi’s jaw dropped when she saw the drawings on the next pages. A beautiful hourglass, made of delicate glass, and dark, shiny wood, was sketched into the page, and even though it was just a picture, it seemed to jump out of the page at her.

Her brow furrowed when she tried to read the swirling, twisting hieroglyphics that made up the writings beside the pictures. She guessed, accurately, that this was part of her old home, the one Queen Beryl had destroyed. She had never seen the alphabet the Dark Kingdom denizens used, but instinctively, she knew it wasn’t their language. It was too bright, too proud and noble to be that of Metallia’s people.

It was also completely unreadable! To Usagi, at least. In vain, she searched the entries near the pages, yet not one even came close to mentioning them.

Reading the words, she quickly tired of the monotonous writings of Phenakite’s human life. Mentionings of the Dark Kingdom and its inhabitants were sparse and far-between and it seemed to Usagi that Phenakite really was trying to forget her love for Kunzite, and her homes.

Her eyes widened as she reached the pages were the words were beginning to run out of steam. The final meanderings of her handwriting were written on the night she had told Usagi the truth…after she had told Usagi the truth!

Fascinated, Usagi was also afraid. She knew with a sudden rush of intuition that this was what that voice had wanted her to find.

…I am alone. And so afraid…I am known, I AM KNOWN! I guess I never had to tell her, but…something made me, something made me! Oh god…I have just been expelled once more, just when I was truly happy again. In a manner of speaking.

Though the time is right, I suppose. The stars have given me one last point in the direction. Who would have believed that they had the hourglass of eternal spirits, all this time…and they never told me!

Well, I think I know why, ha ha. Bakayo! This was an even worse time to give it to me…because of what just happened. It’s given me strength, a reason to do what I always promised myself I wouldn’t. When he died.

Kibun ga suguremasen…my heart is in shreds again, but I can’t let that stop me. And this time, he won’t stop me from getting to him. He stood in my way once, as my heart was still true, but not twice. Not again.

I’m going home…but first, the Dark Kingdom. Where he lies in wait for me.

"Oh, shit," mumbled Usagi, some ancient part of her knowing that this was not a good thing. "Luna was right…we’re in deep shit."

"You could say that," said a voice dryly, and Usagi turned. Somehow, she was not surprised to see Artemis sitting beside her. "I think you’ d better come to the shrine."

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