Part 2
Queen Beryl sat in her hall with a foul look on her face, while watching her minions play Monopoly or make a grand attempt to make a battleship game.
"MALACHITE!! ZOISITE!!" Queen Beryl screamed. There was no answer.
"NEPHLYTE!!" She screamed again. There was still no answer. She was getting pissed.
"Where is everyone?" She snarled. 'Nephlyte is gone, Malachite is gone, even Zoisite is gone! There is only one more person she could count on.' She thought. Laughing maniacally she stood and started to accumulate a large amount of energy.
Jadeite watched the large amount of game piece people cheer as the giant war machine set sail to Electronic Battleship world. He looked around himself and gave a crazy scream, but this time it was drowned out by the yelling of the crowd and the various Negaverse minions strapped to the board.
"Tee-hee hee… we're going to die!" Jadeite giggled maniacally.
"Will you shut up!" Lyonite yelled.
"Why should I? Not like it matters, we're all going to be dead in an hour or so!"
"I would like to die with my hearing intact!"
"WHY??!!!" Jadeite yelled in his ear.
"If we actually somehow get out of this I swear I'm going to kill you!" Lyonite threatened, his silver eyes glowing.
"Tee-hee hee…" Jadeite giggled again. Lyonite struggled and thrashed about with all his might but couldn't seem to break the bonds that held him.
"AAARRRGGGHHHH!!! You Maniacs! Let me go!" Lyonite pleaded, "I don't care what you do to me as long as I don't die next to J8!"
"I resent that!"
"Oh hell, I give up! You win Beryl, I snapped before you did!" Lyonite yelled up at the sky. With the two of them staring up at it something strange happened, something unusual happened, a giant hand appeared out of the sky and grabbed Jadeite up leaving Lyonite cussing like a sailor.
Nephlyte meandered down the street looking about himself with pleasure. 'It's such a nice day; the suns shining, the flowers are out, it smell nice despite the smog, puny mortals go about their tasks happily, what more could a general want?' He wondered smiling at a few pedestrians who returned the courtesy with a dirty look. 'I wonder what Molly is doing?' He thought as he passed by OSA P Jewelry store.
Noticing a phone booth he ducked in, shoving a man aside and changed into Maxfield Stanton. He stepped out and called forth his red ferarri and parked it obscurely in a parking space, knocking over a parking meter. Jamming his hands in his pockets he waltzed into the store trying to look expensive and looked around. There were a number of old ladies buying expensive diamonds and gaudy jewelry, while a kleptomaniac stole a phone, some brochures, and other assorted items. 'Maybe they sell battleship here.' Nephlyte briefly thought before being interrupted by a sales person.
"Like may I help you?" She squealed.
"Ne?"
"May I help you?"
"Oh yes," He cleared his throat. "I am Maxfield Stanton."
"Who?" She asked. "I'm Tiffany!"
"You know Maxfield Stanton, the millionaire."
"Girl Power!" She screamed in his face.
"Do you-" He began.
"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. Making loves' forever, the friendship never ends!"
"Um…SERVICE!" He yelled, ringing the bell like a two year old.
"Hello, I'm Laura. May I help you?" She screamed.
"It could be worse…" He mumbled.
"Pardonnez Moi?
"Er…could you get rid of that!" He snobbed, pointing at Tiffany.
"Oh her. One moment please." She politely said before directing her attention at Tiffany. "Tiffany, calm down. The people in the white jackets are your friends and their coming to get you and take you to a better place!" Laura sang, trying to restrain her.
"Stop right there, thank you very much! I need somebody with a human touch!" Tiffany screamed. Two men dressed in white jackets burst through the doors, grabbed her and dragged her out of the store while she sang 'Say you'll be there'.
"Um...sorry about that." She apologized, looking down at her feet and rubbing her neck.
"Anyway, do you have any battleship games for sale?" He asked cordially.
"Oh, I'm so sorry." She comforted, leaning over the counter and grabbing his shoulders. "But it's all I have to give! With out you I don't think I can live!" She sang loudly. Nephlyte broke free and began ringing the bell like a mad man. Giving up he threw it at Laura knocking her out cold.
"MOLLY!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. "MOOOLLLYYY!"
"Yesss?" She hissed, popping up from behind the counter.
"Eeek!" He screamed. "Hello Molly, maybe you can help me?" He asked.
"Oh, anything for you Maxfield!" She cried, running from around the counter and hugging him around the waist.
"Er…do you sell battleship here?" He asked looking around.
"No, but I can find one for you!" She replied, looking up at him all dreamy eyed.
"Oh, that's okay, I guess, I'm sure Beryl sent out Malachite or that psycho Zoisite. Let's do something fun!"
"Sure. How about going for a chocolate parfait?"
He cocked his head strangely at her. "Sure, I can always start my diet tomorrow." And so the two left the store hand in hand marching towards the nearest ice-cream store while the employee's at OSA P argued over the greatest group of the 90's: The Spice Girls or the Backstreet Boys.
Zoisite floated through the air looking down at the word with disgust. A few North American tourists pointed up at him and took pictures. One person even called him a 'U.F.O' and started running around saying that the truth is out there. He laughed that crazy laugh that he did and floated to the ground, scaring away the pigeons that a bag lady was feeding.
"Foolish mortals!" He laughed. "If only you knew what evil forces were truly at hand!" He laughed again, throwing away the 'Punky Brewster' poster he had been looking at. He held out the crystal in his hand and watched it glow. 'Hmm…it's glowing more to the left, Malachite must be over there.' He thought. Zoisite began walking, looking into the windows of the stores. He stopped. There it was, right there. It had been eluding him for so long but now he could claim it. He could be master of the universe. He ran up to the window and pressed his hands and face against it, his eyes becoming dreamy. Wiping the drool from his face he ran into Dollar Mart to claim the box of 99 cent black crystals.
He shoved past numerous families, homeless people and slightly obeast children eating ice-cream to get at the box displayed in the window. Snatching it up he ran to the cash eagerly, shoving more people aside. He slammed the box down on the counter expecting the cashier to ring it up.
"You want all of that crap?" The middle aged woman asked, puffing at her cigarette.
"Uhh… ya." Zoisite acknowledged, in a 'Valley Girl' tone. The woman sighed looking into the box, and scratched her head.
"There are an awful lot in here, it'll take a while to count."
"Oh come on you can count the crystals, the nice black crystals…perfect hand held size…"
"One, two, three, uhh….five- no four…"
"Fits perfectly in your palm…it's shine powering thousands of solar panels…"
"Five, six, seven…"
"Hey yo! Could you like hurry it up! I have better things to do!" A man growled from behind Zoisite. The man tapped Zoisite on the shoulder, yelling at him again.
"Oh hell!" Zoisite yelled. "You people are sooooo rude! Here's 30 bucks!" He snarled, slamming some loose change and paper money on the counter. He grabbed the box and started to march out of the store.
"Hey Girlie Boy!" The cashier called. "This money only will only work in Mexico! Get back here!"
Sighing, Zoisite walked back and slammed more money onto the counter and walked back towards the door, this time leaving before the woman could yell at him.
"Lovely," She grumbled. "Canadian money, even worse."
Kunzite stood in a small pool of clear liquid. Well actually, it was his drool. Cape o' Rama rose before him, its 25 foot neon letters blinking in the sunny, Tokyo street. Wiping the drool from his face he entered to store and began to cry with joy. Never in all his life had he had the privledge to be in the presence of so many flowing accessories.
"OH-MY-GOD!" A sales person cried running up the Malachite. He comforted him for a moment before examining his mutilated remnants of a cape.
"How do you live like this?" The man asked again, looking up at Malachite.
"C-ca-can you help me?" Malachite asked, a glimmer of hope appearing in his eyes.
"My name is Deeanté. I'm supposed to be going on a break now, but your case is just too important and tragic to let by!" He examined his cape again. "Now how did this happen to such a high quality cape?"
"I had a little brawl."
"You should never brawl while in cape mode."
"But I was brawling to uphold the sanctity and pride of my capes' superiority!"
"Oh…Well you can't go parading around in this torn and drab accessory." Deeanté ordered. He then yanked off Malachite's cape and tossed it to his silent assistant before Malachite could protest.
"Now let's look at the most expensive capes in the store. For you I'll give 50% off!" He led Malachite to a large rack with shiny, smooth, loud and plain capes alike.
"You pick a few. Take awhile, enjoy the atmosphere!" Deeanté cried before he sat down on an expensive upholstered chair and crossed his spandex covered legs.
Malachite looked dreamy eyed at all the beautiful capes. There were so many to choose from…but then his eyes fell on the cape of his dreams. Grinning evilly he attached it to his uniform and blasted Deeanté before he could protest to that fact that Malachite didn't pay. He laughed maniacally. 'This is too easy,' He thought. 'All I need is a stupid board game and my life will be perfect!'
Jadeite hit the ground of Beryl's hall hard, getting a number of battleship pegs and boats embedded in his face. "OW! Dang that hurt!" He yelled rubbing his elbow.
"JADEITE! JADEITTTEEE!!" The Queen screamed (Who was right in front of him).
He screamed.
"Will you get down!" The queen yelled again, looking up at a frightened ex-general clinging to a stony ceiling.
Realizing that facing Beryl wasn't nearly as bad as dying on a giant battleship next to Lyonite, Jadeite let go and floated gracefully down, a few game pieces falling off of his face. The queen eyeballed him intently.
"What the hell happened to your face?" She asked.
Jadeite snarled and wiped the game pieces from his face. A youma belonging to the cleaning staff tried to stifle a giggle with no avail. Snarling again, Jadeite threw the pieces at the youma, sending it rolling with laughter on the floor. Giving up, Jadeite reverted his attention back to Queen Beryl.
"What do you wish of me, my queen?" He chirped.
"Jadeite!" She yelled yet again. "Since all my other generals are preoccupied with impending matters of great importance, I require you to…"
"Hee hee!" The youma giggled. "Man are you in for it Jeddy!"
"Will you shut up!" The Queen roared.
"Anyways…er…Anyway, what is it that you wish of me?" Jadeite asked.
"I require you to-"
"Hee hee!" The youma laughed again. Twisting her face into something incredibly hideous, Queen Beryl sent it at the youma, who promptly dug a hole in the middle of her throne room and died in it.
"Well that out of the way, Jadeite, I need you to reacquire a new Battleship game for me!" The Queen ordered. Jadeite gave a flat look.
"NOW!" She added. Holding his tongue, Jadeite spun around on his heels and stormed out of the hall, but fell short, by stepping in the hole the youma had dug.
"Hey, I'm dying here!" It yelled. Unable to bottle it up any longer, Jadeite let out the most blood curdling scream ever humanly possible, sending youma and floor tiles alike running for cover.
Jadeite laughed maniacally.
Queen Beryl would never have to order him around on such a stupid task again. Before him rose a giant horseshoe magnet with hundreds of thousands of battleship games flying at it. He laughed again. Soon there would be no more in the world and Beryl would have to settle for Yahtzee or Pictionary. He briefly wondered if he could open a gateway to Battleship world and suck it dry with the magnet. Smiling evilly, he turned the magnet off and caused it to collapse in on itself and turn into nothingness. Little did he know that he had fallen short of one owned by a little boy named Timmy.
"Jadeite! Nephlyte! Zoisite! Malachite!" The queen screeched. No answer. She yelled again, this time at such a high decibel to cause part of her hall to fall off. Snarling she stood, clutching her staff. 'If you have to do something right, you have to do it yourself!' She snarled in her mind as she teleported away to a location where she was sure a game would be.
Queen Beryl arrived in a small suburban hamlet type place somewhere in Japan. She looked around and found it odd that the only person that was around was a little boy sitting in a marble pit. Sighing, Beryl marched over to him and demanded his name.
"Timmy." He said childishly.
"Where can I find a game by the name of Battleship!" She demanded.
"I have the only one in the world!" He answered with pride.
"Then give it to me!" She screamed.
"No. We have to play marbles for it!"
"What?"
"Marbles. But you have to have something I can win!"
"Listen kid, I don't have time for stupid games!" She snarled, looking down at his muddy pants, stained shirt and food covered face.
"Those are the rules. You wanna play?" He asked, wiping his chubby arm across his mouth. Hanging her head in shame, she nodded and knelt down next to him.
"You should know I have nothing to bet." She admitted.
"Well, you look really rich, like you own a kingdom or something…" He mentioned.
Almost crying, Beryl produced a deed giving ownership of the Negaverse to whoever won the game. Timmy pulled out the Battleship board and put it next to the deed. Beryl eyed the game. It looked pretty worn out, some of the pieces were missing and it looked partially chocolate coated. Grumbling, she snatched up some marbles and began playing.
Timmy hit his marble first. The two watched it roll but stopped inches away from the hole. The queen laughed maniacally. She hit her marble a little harder. It rolled easily, into the hole but rolled right out and down the street until it fell down the sewer. Grinning, Timmy hit his marble again and this time went into the pot. Queen Beryl began to sob uncontrollably.
Queen Beryl's former hall ringed with laughter and delight as hundreds of little kids ran around laughing and playing stupid childish games that only children would play. Newly repainted and refinished the hall screamed of neon pink and blue. I had a lower ceiling with baby mobiles hanging from it while the floors old, dark and dirty tiles were replaced with Power Ranger ones. King Timmy slept lazily in the oversized throne, as Chief of Cleaning Staff Beryl scrubbed extra hard at the Zordon tile in front of her.
Jadeite stood on a ladder trying to hook up a sound system, while Nephlyte attempted to entertain the children with cheesy magic tricks while being dressed in Tuxedo Nephlyte mode. Zoisite tried to calm down the hyper active children between trying to dust the Play Skool toys with a feather duster and frilly 'French maid' apron. Malachite snarled and blasted the kid he was giving a piggyback ride for pulling his hair.
"This sucks!" Zoisite finally piped in, throwing a feather duster at a sticky kid grabbing at his leg.
"Oh, you think you got it bad!" Beryl spat, dumping extra cleaning fluid on the Blue Ranger.
""I really hate kids!" Malachite declared, blasting a few more kids for poking at his new sequin decked, Elvis style cape. It had the high collar and all.
"Well, it could be worse…" Nephlyte piped in.
"Oh?" They all chimed.
"We could all be wannabe generals." He spoke quietly, motioning to the new 'wannabe' king.
"Got it!" Jadeite yelled from the top of his ladder. The former generals and queen turned to Jadeite.
"I don't hear anything but static!" Malachite grumbled. Jadeite frowned and fumbled with the radio knob before finding a station.
"…Hello, thank you for tuning into Energy 1200, the most energetic station of all! For those who have just tuned in, and our loyal listeners welcome back to the Top 1000 Evil songs of the Millennium! I am you DJ Musicite, for those of you who aren't familiar with me. That was just song number two you just heard, and now, the moment you have been waiting for, the number one evil song of all time!"
A commercial cut in for a moment advertising some stupid live action show about Beryl loosing the marble game. Everyone quieted and listened and the DJ returned, did his little banter thing before the song began. "YO! I'll tell you what it want, what I really want!" "So tell me what you want, what you really, really want?" And so on. As the song progressed four distinct screams could be heard echoing through the neon pink hall.
Well, Ja Ne!
Dalles