A Day in the Life of Me
"We all love the cartoon Spider Man, don't we?" The children all responded with a triumphant "yes!" "But what if I were to tell you a story, a story that proves that Spider Man was a plagarized idea from Native American culture?"
"Please tell us wise man," one child responded.
"Very well. Once, long ago, in a land called the blue world..."
"Was it blue there, oh wise one?" Said one impudent brat.
"Yes yes, now shut up or I shall kill you and feed your entrails to my pet jackal. Now, back to the story. . . In the blue world there lived a goddess called Spiderwoman. She was a great being who fought evil super-villain gods at every turn, and because of this she was a widely worshipped goddess. But one day a white man overheard some of these legends and stories and decided to steal them and turn her into a mutant man who fought crime and spouted defiance to Spiderwoman, and went on and on about his stupid spider senses."
"What did spiderwoman do, oh wise one?" Interrupted an ankle biter.
"Well Spiderwoman became seriously p.o.ed and came down to earth in an evil, vile form; we know her human form as Bill Clinton. In her human form Spiderwoman has the ability to seduce many women, and also has the ability to never get caught. Every time she gets a woman stuck in her webbed bed sheets, she takes away her ability to weave. Soon the ability to weave will be totally gone from the face of the earth, and we will all be stark naked.
Day Two
"In the beginning we ate from the earth, we lived by means of the earth, and we "relieved" ourselves on the earth. But now the vile Europeans bring us this new invention called a toilette. This hellatious monstrosity steals your soul every time you flush it. When we went on the ground we were not degrading ourselves we were only becoming one with the earth and our excrements."
"Oh wise one, should we destroy this invention?" Asked one child.
"Yes," responded the wise one.
"Shall we eviscerate our white crapping oppressors?" Asked another.
"Yessss," responded the wise one.
"I had a dream," said the wise one. "a dream that one day we will crap side by side, native America, white man, and all colored skin alike."
That night the white-man swirling mob came and swirlied the wise man to death, he was found the next morning with his head in the toilet.
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