September
September 15, 1999
well here it is, um 25 days later I think. and I've finally decided to ramble again. I'm not entirely sure why. It's just a thing I do sometimes. I think the reason I've been slacking off on rambles is I've been keeping an actual journal type thing. Which is good, I don't have to be careful about what I say. Although I'm usually pretty obvioius and direct in these rambles. Anyway, I've been thinkg a lot about different things lately. One of them that pops into my head really quickly is art. there are lots of times I wish I was an artist. A lot of times I'm sitting and thinking to myself and I'll look over at someone (usually a girl) and see half of her face. her hair covering part of it as she has her head turned to the side. in fact I can remember almost exactly the last time I thought that and the face. Anyway the point of this is I wish I could paint such things because they always seem so beautiful to me. even if I never thought the person was attractive before that certain view of their face is always appealing to me. I want to capture these moments in time thru painting. I've even contemplated carrying around a camera everywhere and just taking pictures of these things. but 1) people would think I was a freak 2) pictures don't seem as real to me as paintings, they lack I guess a certain personal touch that a painting can offer. I don't know if that made any sense but I've gone and said it now, and it was something to ramble about. Grrr that's not nearly long enough. well let's see what else is there to ramble about. oh yes, apparently college is somewhat good, as I have become more comfortable in talking to people. for once I hung out with rachie and I had things to say other than making stuff up like she has control of the sun. I think I'm beginning to realize that I am not dorky and worthless and that the things I have to say are important. well not really important but relevant and meaningful. Which is slightly different from important. but I'm done now.
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