waiting patiently for the note.
The joyous tone that heralds
a start. The start. Starting.
Wait. Crying painful tears.
No tone, no ring, no note.
Disappointment is a heavy burden.
The sadness of life, momentarily lifted,
crashes down again.
Quiet, blissful interludes.
No, no more. Sounds, voices.
I need connection.
I've fallen apart, out of touch
with myself. With others.
Dancing around the room,
I seek to immerse myself
in an occupation, to numb my mind.
To exhaust my body.
In no other way can sleep be obtained.
Silent tears, but all alone.
Loud, wracking sobs, all alone.
The music I fall asleep to.
The disappointment I wake to.
No ringing notes shall break my vigil.
Vain, useless, watching. Waiting.
For nothing because I am nothing.
To everyone, I am just a shadow,
a single solitary shadow,
Dancing around the room.
