TOP FIVES (The Silly Stuff!) You need Java to see this applet. NB: These are TOTALLY silly, not meant to be in any way serious, lists! They started off as 'Top Fives' but have become more like top sixes, tens, nines, or whatever! But you get the idea! :-)

Top fifteen reason’s why Mag 7 could never be set in Europe
Prostitution is illegal everywhere but Amsterdam…and the windmills just wouldn’t work Those clothes would get them arrested even in Berlin Ride the distances they do and you’d end up in another country! Mexico isn’t close enough Chris doesn’t have any enemies in Europe…so there’d be no plot! Advanced civilizations…arrrgh, no!! Seven men hanging around together that much would be frowned upon even in Manchester Natural bodily expansion during flight and those tight black jeans? He’d never survive the trip Even Queen Victoria bathed once a year Europe isn’t dusty enough Hearing real Irish accents would shock and confuse them They’d start a war with Ireland before realising they’re not all dodgey bad-guys Seven men that good looking?..…in Europe? They’d be slaughtered! Most of them have never mastered English…what makes you think they can learn French? Riding horses through the streets is pretty much frowned upon and carrying a gun is illegal
Reason’s why CBS never ‘got’ Mag 7
Too many big words Too much talent No women on the executive board No naked women in the first five minutes Michael is the only one of the 'Seven' not to get his kit off so far *EG* Laurie Holden has managed not to get naked No wet t-shirt’s contests It wasn’t filmed on a camcoarder and sent in by viewers It has a script They failed history Seven men bonding and ultimately living together - eeekkkk
Top things they'd never say
CHRIS	VIN
I understand why you killed my family and I just want to help you I am now a buddist and no longer believe in violence Can I have a glass of water with a delicate slice of lemon, please? Ohhh, what a lovely shade of pink I’ve given up black for a light blue as it matches my eyes better Sorry	I feel like a day trip…let’s go to Tuscosa It’s all a matter of arcamedian and euluicadian principals Chris who?
EZRA	BUCK
Please…take it, there’s plenty more money where that came from and I enjoy giving to the needy Oooooh yuck…gambling’s a sin I’ve become a friar and no longer believe in material possessions Let’s rob from the rich and give to the poor Actually that corset was extremely comfortable and the shade did compliment my complexion	I’m trying celibacy Nahhh, beautiful naive young ladies really aren’t my type! Mother Teresa and my own dear ma sure had a lot in common I want a hat like JD’s
JD	JOSIAH
Sod Casey, Mary’s more my type Chris Larabee couldn’t even hit a twenty ton elephant that was happily dancing the hula in front of him! I really came west to write beautiful poetry about the delicate plight of the Native American population I’ve decided that the life of a preacher is far more exciting than that of a gunfighter…so I’m changing professions! You know Vin…you’re really good looking!
NATHAN	MARY
Ezra Standish is the fore-figure for civil rights Elvis, he’s the man Life sure was a whole lot simpler before those Union blokes stuck their ore in!	I wanted to be a washer woman Buck, you’re everything I ever wanted in a man
Top five Chat-up lines we pray they never use!
CHRIS	VIN
My gun’s bigger than yours Want to come upstairs and see my battle scars I have a bad reputation…care to see how I earnt it? 5 dollars…upstairs now There’s a reason these jeans are so tight	Come back with me and see my love wagon I’m a wanted man and murder is only part of that story
EZRA	BUCK
Gambling’s not the only thing I’m good at I’m smooth, charming and I understand how suffocating those corsets can be!	*G* you know you want to I didn’t grow up in a whore house and not learn a few things
JD	JOSIAH
Want a trowel? This innocent kid thing is just an act Teach me about the Wild west	Even Adam and Eve were tempted Haven’t you heard…it’s always the quiet ones!
NATHAN	MARY
I have healing hands I’m a doctor…trust me! Come on, let me practice my bedside manner	My husband died several years ago…I’m despearate Can we re-enact that ‘tied to the bed’ scene…this time minus clothes? Your place, my place or on the florr? I’m really a prostitute Forget Billy, you’re the man in my life
Things Chris does when he’s bored!	Reason’s why Mary should marry someone other than Chris!
Play’s with his gun *VEG* (sorry Mike!) Shoots people Watches the prism effects cast by daylight reflecting on empty whisky bottles (please read Yrish’s Reflections) Has rail splitting contests (Yeah..what WAS that one all about *S*) Design’s wanted posters Builds the ensuite for a bidet on his house Fills in the bullets holes on his house	Would you want to go with someone who never seems to take a bath? Vin has the slight edge on that sexy stance Would you want to sleep with someone that sulky? (Oh, ok, this excudes Avril, Helen, the MB list, it’s biehn real…etc *S*) She has NO idea where he’s been No parents, no home town, wears black all the time…there’s a pattern emerging here!
Reason’s why Vin was a virgin before Wagon Train	Reason’s why Chris never was a virgin
His hair (ohh, sorry Eric!) His wagon His cork pulling grin The only women he flirts with are a)Mary (taken?), b)married or c)Old His choice when he finally scores is so bad that he must have been desperately inexperienced He’s so darn polite	He’s an alien - he has no parent’s, no childhood and no scars on his knees (prove us wrong!) He broods and we all love a brooder That grin His tight black jeans (come on!) That walk with the billowing coat He’s just too darn cool!
Reason’s why Chris walks funny	Reason’s why we know Vin can’t read
The clap (only kidding Mike) His jeans (could you move in anything that tight?) Too much action (wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more!) He has the largest horse	Vin never consults a dictionary to understand Ezra Can you see him perusing Dickens? He never quotes Wordsworth If he did, he’d write bad romances We’re told he doesn’t in Achilles