SEKI'S ARCHIVES

NOTE:

This page is strictly by and for cats. If you are a human or a (yuck!) DOG, please do not read any further!

I wouldn't want to think that any cat had missed any of my wisdom, but I can't leave all my ideas on my main page forever. So, to make sure my meowings are available to posterity I have created this archive file. If you missed something the first time, you now have another chance to become enlightened.

Rules for Cats Who Adopt a Human

  1. The first and most important rule is to remember that YOU ARE THE BOSS! Humans are stubborn and would like to order cats around. Don't let them get away with it!
  2. Humans have a great attachment to the word "No", so you need to be familiar with this term. It means "Not while I'm looking".
  3. Retain your dignity at all times. If you are ever caught making a foolish mistake, pretend that was exactly what you intended to do.
  4. You must feed your pet. A dead mouse left at the door in the morning will be greatly appreciated by your human.
  5. Humans can, and must, be trained. This is best started early. Some humans are easily controlled by the "cute kitty" act, while others require serious meowing. You will quickly learn what works best with your human.
  6. Humans have a very poor sense of time, so you will generally have to wake them up for breakfast. You should always do this before the "alarm clock" goes off, so that it doesn't disturb them.
  7. The best ways to wake a sleeping human are by meowing directly into their ear, or by licking their eyelids with your rough tongue.
  8. Humans only close doors when there is something of interest to a cat behind them. Therefore, whichever side of the door you are on, you must always meow to be let through to the other side.

I hope that these rules will make your time with your new pet human enjoyable for both of you. Good luck!

As we all know, catnaps are vital for our continued health and beauty. Many cats, however, do not give sufficient consideration to the details that can make a mere everyday catnap into a purrrrfectly wonderful experience. Here are some suggestions:

Important Considerations for Catnapping

1. The first thing that must be given careful thought is where to have your nap. You will get your best sleep in a warm dark place where you will not be disturbed. Your person's bed may do, but you will find that your person him/herself is much warmer! Some cats find heat more important than being left in peace. I, for instance, curl up on Karen's computer monitor because it is so cozy, even though I know she will throw me off when she catches me.

2. A second consideration for napping is the best time. The answer to that is simple. Any time is a good time for a nap.

3. Some cats worry about the best position in which to nap. Curling into a ball provides for the most warmth, while stretching out to your full length gives you the most petting surface. It is a personal choice, and many cats alternate. Who says we can't have the best of both worlds? After all, we're CATS!

4. How long to sleep? A general rule is to sleep until something more interesting, such as food, comes along. You may want to stand and stretch occasionally, though, so you don't get stiff.

5. Finally, what should you nap with? Contrary to what some macho cats would have you believe, it is not wimpy to sleep with a Teddy Bear! For those of you who have a pet human, they are warm and cuddly to sleep with. A dog is quite good for this purpose, as well (although that's all they are good for).

Enjoy your nap!

If you want to meow to me just click your mouse (yum!) on the paw. [Paw. mailto:kmillard@idirect.com]

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