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[Adventure,
time-travel, humor, amazons, mystery]

DAMSEL IN THE ROUGH at Barnes & Nobles

Also at Amazon.com

The era is Ancient Greece during the start of the Roman Empire. Amazon warriors travel in secret tribes, not always getting alone with each other. The world is a deadly, changing place afflicted by the superior technology of gods. Damsel in the Rough is Tasha Malone Fidelli, a resourceful co-ed and unwitting time-traveler from Brooklyn, New York. Excellent Sci-fi, active, packed with valid survival techniques, unique questions about prehistory events, and mostly adventure with rampant humor mixed in the lore of mythological fancy.

SAMPLE TEXT: This is Chapter 4 split into small pages, no frames, and much kinder to WEBTV browsers.

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JOKES and ONE LINERS


14,000 Quips and Quotes
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What's In A Name?--Rodney Dangerfield (audio)
Hello Dummy--Don Rickles! (audio)
A WILD AND CRAZY GUY--Steve Martin (audio)
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Big Little Book of Irish Wit and Wisdom
The Enyclopedia of Humor
The Greatest Joke Book Ever
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Golf Shorts
Football Shorts

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurt, everything else felt great.

Stupidity got us into this mess -- why can't it get us out?

Even on the right track you'll surely get run over if you just sit there.

An optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist knows it.

"People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them somebody famous said them first." - Benjamin Franklin

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

I don't mind going nowhere, as long as it's an interesting path.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.

I *am* in shape--Round.

Practice safe eating -- use a condiment.

I'm a kleptomanic. What can I take for it?

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask the questions.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should be changed regularly and for the same reason.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

Q. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A. A cherry float.

Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A. Beat it -- we're closed.

Q. Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A. To find a tight seal.

Q. What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A. Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q. What's the difference between sin and shame?
A. It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Q. What's the speed limit of sex?
A. 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q. What's the ultimate rejection?
A. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Q. Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A. She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

Q. Why is air a lot like sex?
A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Q. If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A. K9-P.
Q. What's another name for pickled bread?
A. Dill-dough

Q. Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
A. He heard the snowblower coming.

SLOGANS FOR WOMEN'S T-SHIRTS



So many men, so few who can afford me.

If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.
Seen it all, done it all, heard it all...just can't remember it all.
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.
Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.
Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
I'm out of estrogen-and I have a gun.
Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?
Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
I hate everybody...and you're next.
And your point is...?
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.
Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

++++

PIZZA TIP

After the college boy delivered the pizza to Amanpreet's trailer house, Amanpreet asked,"What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "This is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."

"Is that so?" snorted Preet. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."

"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."
"What are you studying?" asked Preet.
The lad smiled and replied, "Applied psychology."

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