COMPUTER TALK LAUGHS
Press < CTRL >-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ...
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
- Bill Gates, 1981
DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE==FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS==OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Excuse me for butting in, but I'm interrupt-driven.
Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Read my chips: No new upgrades!
Hit any user to continue.
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer ?
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming
must be the process of putting them in.
Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of
conversing with inanimate objects.
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it
should be hard to understand.
T-SHIRT COMEDY SAYINGS
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'...till you can find a
rock.
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Do witches run spell checkers?
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because
I hate plants.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their
prejudices.
The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words,
there are 1,322 words
in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the
sale of cabbage
total 26,911 words.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the
streets?
I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is getting better.
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
infant's life, she will
choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are
men on base.
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake
when you make it
again.
On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think
Abraham Lincoln
would be doing if he were alive today?
1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2. Advising the President.
3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
-- David Letterman
Harrisons Ford and Gene Wilder. Yep, a comedy. Gene Wilder takes his most unusual role, a naive 19th-century rabbi sent from his native Poland to the fledgling Jewish community in San Francisco, in this warm-hearted comic adventure. The trusting soul is easy prey for the con men and criminals who prey on the immigrants arriving in the Philadelphia port and
the rabbi, beaten but unbowed, continues his trek West solo: broke, underequipped, and hopelessly lost.
Harrison Ford, fresh from Star Wars, is the roguish outlaw who adopts the determined traveler and the
two become unlikely friends as they make their way through one scrape after another. Wilder makes a
sincere and sympathetic hero, his faith and courage seeing him through one crisis after another, and
fresh-faced Ford makes an endearing scamp of a bank robber.