My Minnie Mouse
S.C.Jones
Friday's porch sit with Ira
Well, it seems to me a fine day to sit a spell Ira. You ever have women
problems? No, not that kind...I mean understanding em. You talk about
Texas women and all, and I know the gals here are a rare breed. Ain't
no one I knows who can drive faster than your lady, Ira. My Judy is a
turtle compared to her...drives the speed limit all the way. Drives me
crazy.
She is a runaway with conversation however. I've heard tell that we
Minnesotan's talk fast. May be so, but Judy just talks. I'm reminded
of the time Peewee Herman jumped off the train when sitting next to the
'non-stop hobo'. I haven't yet jumped out of the car, Ira, but have
thought about it. Can't be much worse than crashin in Nam.
Now I wouldn't mind it so much if it made sense even...but it don't.
And she changes subject so often that your never too sure if your on the
same planet. Her mother is like that too. You get Judy and her mother
is the same room and you can forget about whatever it was you was
thinkin about...you can forget about thinkin. Ain't no use.
I've adapted a little Ira, but every now and then Judy will throw me a
curve ball. I had long ago given up on trying to talk about the serious
things in life with her, so when she brought up a serious subject to me
in the car not long ago, I was jarred into consciousness.
I was driving through town and she had extra thinkin time and so I
figured she was being deep and philosophical when she asked me, "If you
could be anything in the World, what would you be?" (Wow...this came
from Judy?) "Anything?" "Yea, ANYthing...I've already thought of what
I want to be. What would You be?"
(Oh, my god...SHE has already Thought about this...I will have to think
hard now and come up with the correct thing.) "Any thing...well, let me
think..." ...miles go by and I'm still deep in thought. I wouldn't
mind being a bird, flying high in the ski, but they have to sleep out in
the rain. Maybe a tortoise living old and taking things easy and slow.
No, that wouldn't work too well. I'd be low to the ground and I don't
swim too swell...I suppose I'd have a hundred years to learn. Now, a
dog has a good life and gets treated right by most...maybe a dog. What
type of dog? ..."Steve, are you ever going to make up your mind? What
can be so hard about the question? It didn't take me that long to
know."
"OK, ok...I've almost got it...you thought about it so give me a chance,
OK?"
(Geez, this could be the start of finally having serious conversations.
This could lead into more purtinate things. Maybe we could talk about
woodworking next, or discuss the planets and outer space. We could talk
about why it's important for her to change her own oil in the car...)
"Ok, dear, I've almost got it...I just want to narrow it down a little"
more miles go by...(Spaniel or Lab; Great Dane or Chesapeake?.....OH, I
know...We had Spaniels...she'll like that answer)
"Ok...I've got it!...I'd like to be a Brittany Spaniel!" pause........
"That's dumb...I didn't mean something serious...anyone can be a
Brittany...Don't you have any imagination?" "What do you mean? What's
wrong with a Brittany? You liked our dogs..." "Of course I liked our
dogs. What's that got to do with this? Your suppose to use some
imagination!" "I DID use imagination...What do you think I've been
doing the past 15 minutes? If your so imaginative, what do You plan on
being?"
"Well, I certainly would have picked something a little more
creative...I would be Minnie Mouse, and if I had two choices I would be
Pluto as choice number two...."
(good god. who have I got in the car today?) "Minnie Mouse?" "Yea,
Minnie Mouse"
(so we don't talk about oil changes. we don't talk about the moon and
the stars and we don't talk about wood working...) "Minnie
mouse...yea, ok, ok...I guess I just wasn't very imaginative...I'll
have to do better next time..." "I should say so dearie...you could
have at least said something like a turtle...at least that would have
used a little imagination." (right...)
You know Ira, sometimes she almost makes sense. Either that or I've
lost the meaning of true sense anymore. I mean, she seems to always
make the connection of what she wants done and how I should do it, yet
somewhere in my doing it she changes the plans. Take our home for
example. We discussed every aspect in the most minuet detail. In
building it I put everything in the proper area for use; our kitchen
laid out to perfection.
Wiring the outlet for the refridge one morning a few years ago, she
walks in and says, "That's a funny place to put an outlet. Why are you
putting an outlet in the back of where our cabinet goes?" (hmm?) "I
don't know anyone with an outlet in the back of their kitchen cabinet
like that." (?????) "Judy! You want a refrigerator in the kitchen
don't you?" "What are you talking about, Steve? Of course I want a
fridgerator...over There..." (?????) "Judy, you told me you wanted it
HERE. I cut out the hole and ran the wire to put it HERE." "Steve,
don't you ever listen to anything I say? I told you on the way up in
the car a month ago, that I was thinking of putting the refrigerator on
That wall..." (in the car...a month ago...listen?) "I don't
remember...why didn't you remind me again?" "I figured I didn't have to
Steve. Your not That dumb..."
So I patched the hole and moved the outlet. Change number 4,621.
Ira, why is it a woman can't be like a man. A man wants something done
he does it, and it is done the way it should be done. Why can't a woman
be less imaginative, less talkative, and more positive in their doing
and thinking...and why can't a woman change her own oil?
Well, this chat helped me some Ira,.but now I must go again. I'm
suppose to redo a bathroom wall and it seems there was something about a
phone jack behind a toilet. Remind me sometime to tell you about the
boat garage, which near killed me to build, and why the boat now sits
out in the snow. Best to you good friend. See you next week, Ira.
My Minnie Mouse
Revised: March 21, 1997
Comments welcome.
All contents copyright (C) 1997, S.C.Jones
All rights reserved.
URL: http://www.oocities.org/Athens/Acropolis/1915
