... Is there any advice you can give to us and some things we could tell our parents?
note: this advice assumes that you:
1) live with your parents and are under 18
2) have already come to the decision that you want to tell your parents.
3) your parents are not abusive. (if they are, you should seek help)
Please keep in mind that this is only my advice, based on my experience. I am not qualified in pyschology or family counseling in any way.
Hmmm.. Thats a pretty good question, one which I haven't really had to address myself. Since
my parents are largely accepting of the things I do I've had an easy time of it, I've told
them, they know, and they don't have a problem with it. I guess this may have something to
do with my age however. Since I was 21 at the time I started seriously practicing, my parents
really only had an advisory relationship to me, instead of an authoritarian one.
I encourage you to share this e-mail with your parents, as I spent some time relating to both
sides of the issue, it may help them relate to your needs, as it (hopefully) helps you
relate to theirs.
The first problem, which you are likely to meet no matter how open-minded your parents are,
is balancing your privacy. On one hand, your parents are your parents, and as such have a
right, and an obligation, to keep an eye on what you are doing and make sure you stay out of
trouble. On the other hand, you are exploring a very personal aspect of your life and self,
and will want your privacy respected. I strongly urge you to speak with your parents, and
come to a reasonable agreement about your privacy. Keep in mind that you probably will not
be able to just tell your parents "I'm wiccan, and want to hold rituals in the basement, so
please don't bother us". Your parents are going to want to know what is going on. I suggest
that you share your collection of books, web-pages, and my e-mail address if you wish, so
that they may use them to get the basic facts about Wicca.
A good parent will seek to know and understand your choice of religion. The informed parent can let you
explore your religious beliefs, without being concerned and confused about what you are
doing. If all goes well, they can keep an eye out for "warning signs" (such as abuse of
shock value to get attention, disruptive behavior, or control of others) and not hassle you
too much unless you start getting out of hand.
The other serious issue you might run into is total lack of acceptance. Some people do not
accept any religions outside their own as having any validity. If your parents actualy
belong to this category, there isn't much you can do. You can try to educate them, lend
them books, copies of articles, etc, but if they truly accept nothing outside their path,
you may be speaking to deaf ears. In this case, do your best, and pray for guidance... it's
the best anyone can do.
To Parents reading this:
Blessed be.
Matthew Kettler
I've written quite a bit in the hopes of getting your child to see your end of this situation.
I encourage you to take a moment and try to see things from theirs. Hopefuly you can work
together to create an arangement that works for both of you. One where you can parent responsibly,
and they can grow safely under your watch.
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