From the quill of the writings of Tang Ying:

"Looking for just the right picture for your study? How about a statue for the foyer? Look no further than Kennington Road. MORSE HUDSON'S is the place for you. We're sure you'll be happy with your selection of art. And if you're not, you can smash it right on the counter."

"MISSING: Rakish young worker with a goatee beard. Smokes a clay pipe. Walks with swagger. Tall. Thin. Grey Eyes. Owner of rishing plumbing business. Goes by the name of Escott. Please notify the housemaid at Milverton House, Hampstead of any information pertaining to said gentleman. All is forgiven."

"Statues cheap. Harding Brothers. Two doors from High Street Station."

"Gelder & Co. of Stepney in Church Street. Statues for sale. World leaders our specialty. Monumental masonry"

"Need a medical practitioner? Try DR. BARNICOT. One of the largest practices south of the Thames. Principal consulting room, Kennington Road. Branch surgery and dispensary, Lower Brixton Road. All Bonaparte enthusiasts receive first consultation at half price!"

"For sale: Yoxley Old Place. Location: Down in Kent, 7 miles from Chatham and 3 from the railway line. Vacated by previous owner, an invalid Professor, for health reasons. Three-roomed cottage at end of garden, currently housing gardener. Garden gate 100 yards from main London to Chatham road. Cocoanut matting in hallways. Carpeting in master bedroom is continuous and firmly nailed, dunn coloured. Recess behind bookcase could be a useful storage area or mother-in-law apartment."

"Wanted: Secretary/Assistant to complete analysis of documents found in the Coptic monasteries of Syria and Egypt. Smoker. Must double as a body guard. Must take dictation. Knowledge of reference research necessary. Apply Prof. Coram, General Delivery, Kent"

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"Looking for lodgings which are cockroach-free and have a drunk in charge of the wine cellar? Contact J. Rucastle, The Copper Beeches"
Submitted by : Ye Old Lascar

"Theatrical companies looking for male lead for "Phantom of the Opera" please contact A. Gruner, 16 Godolphin Street. I require absolutely no makeup."
Submitted by : Ye Old Lascar

"ANGELINA--Please, no more letters. It's through with us. It would never work in spite of your beautiful legs. I'm a confirmed bust man. -- BEPPO"
Submitted by : Ye Old Lascar

"MR. HOSMER ANGEL: Have kept word, still waiting. Know will marry when possible. New address Webly Seniors Residences, Rm. 221, Bed B. Faithful forever, Mary"
Submitted by : Sandy Kozinn

"LADY'S MAID seeks oversize padding for special hairstyles. Best prices paid; contact M. Briggs, c/o Sumatran Embassy."

"PLEASE NO MORE REPLIED to previous advert. Have already acquired enough giant rats for Sumatrans. M. Briggs"
Submitted by : Sandy Kozinn

"WANTED: experienced pearl refinisher to restore original lustre to mishandled pearls of unusual color. Respond to Box 221B."
Submitted by : Sandy Kozinn

"NOTICE: Commission available for right man. Looking for fine, manly fellow. Must be hard-working and industrious. Scholarly athlete helpful. Knowledge of rugby and cricket desireable. Experience with hurdles and long jump a must. Apply Rhodesian Police Force, Rhodesia, South Africa.
Post-script: must be an excellent writer with own supply of pencils."
Submitted by : Sandy Kozinn

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