The Discipleship Disaster

Chapter 2
An abusive discipleship is a group that exerts persuasive coercion through systematic deception.

Specifically the types of coercion and deception found in these discipleships are . . .

• the attitude that we are superior to all other churches, our message is superior as is our understanding of the Bible
  
• a lack of tolerance for disagreement with leadership
  
• squelching of freedom of thought when thinking differs from the leadership's
  
• curtailed freedom of speech when opinions differ from those of the leaders
  
• hidden agendas as evidenced by deliberate withholding of information
  
• instilling a belief that disobeying certain requests (which do not deal with Scripture morals or values) from the discipler is a sin, when it is in fact not sinful.
  Once a disciple has been convinced that disobeying a portion of non-moral advice from the discipler is sinful, the disciple will control himself and of his own volition follow the discipler's suggestions, in order to avoid guilt feelings. In essence this disciple becomes a slave to the discipler's advice.

  Information that the group defines as negative, concerning the leaders, is suppressed by demeaning disciples who speak out. This humiliation frequently is done by...

  • imposing a standard by which disciples are often caused to feel guilty or ashamed. Contrast this to experiencing the grace of God through support & encouragement ..
    
  • relentlessly judging of members' hearts or motives ..
    
  • threatening to rebuke the "offending" disciple, or even public rebuking ..
    
  • arbitrarily dismissing disciples or causing them to want to leave when the disciple merely disagrees with opinions of the leaders ..
    
  When a person can't freely share doubts about an important matter without the threat of expulsion or other negative repercussions, it can cause great inner struggles and leave one emotionally devastated.

  Controlling groups usually withhold their additional meanings of obey and submit. These definitions typically are held back until the leaders see that you trust them enough to assure your acceptance of these new teachings. Controlling groups lower the disciple's defenses by distorting the highly important concepts of commitment and trust. These concepts are twisted by abusive discipleship groups to take on new meanings which the Biblical text doesn't allow. There is one Gospel that can be known by all; leaders don't need to hold some back until newcomers trust enough to swallow all of the (leaders') belief.

  CHAPTER 2 REVIEW
  MANIPULATIVE GROUPS MIGHT...

  • cause you to feel a distancing from family (ask your family if they feel you have cut them off emotionally because you, yourself, may not be able to see this)
    
  • cause your spontaneous decisions to diminish because you want to check with your discipler first
    
  • cause you to abandon normal old hobbies and friends who are not in the group
    
  • cause you to be stilted in your conversations with family about plans
    
  • diminish the closeness to your family & old friends
    
  • cause you to accept a leader's advice so readily that some perceive you as unduly influenced or controlled
    
  • make you think that you have more accountability then most churches when in reality it is more accountability to reporting to a man
    
  • cause you to have an unhealthy submission and an un-Biblical obedience to human leaders
    
  • subtly teach that following all of what leaders request is seen as spiritual growth even when you don't feel right about it
    
  • create unnecessary shame or guilt when your desires don't match the authority
    
  • cause a person to suppress their real personality type or change it
    
  • cause people to lose their personal initiative
    
  • cause burnout problems, serious depression, and a variety of other psychological and spiritual problems after a period of suppressing their own thoughts and desires to follow what their "mature discipler" thinks is better
    
  • cause you to see yourself as going against God when you have thinking independent from the leaders
    
  • cause you to see leaders as better able to hear from God
    
  • cause you to label yourself as rebellious when you are struggling with accepting their advice
    
  • cause you to see yourself as going against God's will when you don't want to accept their advice as more valid than your own ideas
    
  • cause you to deny that your discipleship group could be practicing the "shepherdship error" when it may very well be doing exactly that
    
  • only indoctrinate the leaders and those being groomed for leadership, into the abusive discipleship errors
    
  • allow part of the congregation great freedom but not those whom they are grooming for leadership
    
  • exist within mainline churches
    

  Copyright 1996 Mary Alice Chrnalogar Last revised: Nov. 11/97
  

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