Everything is happening again...I am reliving the last six months of my life over again. I didn't like the last six months of my life. I don't like boys. I keep trying to understand them, and get confused. THEN I realize that all this time I've been looking too deep and what I see on the surface is what I get. Then they do something really strange... and I realize that I don't get them at all and I'm back where I started, really, really confused. Sigh. So where was I? Circles. I'm stuck in one. I was sitting in my english class and we had a sub, who read Act 3 of King Lear (an incredible play!!!) with us. When we read Lear, what we do is people volunteer to play different parts, and that's what we did with the sub. When my teacher came back, she didn't like the lack of depth in which the substitute had gone over the play and so she decided to read it again. THIS is my life. The second time we read it, we had different people reading the parts, so they gave a slightly different spin to the events, but the plot and events remained the same... just like my life!!! Sigh. I just have this feeling that I'm being given a second chance, to change all the things I did wrong the first time around, the only thing is that I never thought I was doing anything wrong the first time.

I hate people. It's funny, the things I thought I'd done right, I'm getting a chance to change, but the things I actually want to change, I know I'll never get a chance to. Is any of this making sense to you? No, I didn't think so. Anyway, I've discovered a new love. Pottery. I LOVE throwing on the wheel. It's very comforting, feeling the clay slide through your fingers, and the satisfaction of know you made something...I just hate it when you want something to turn out blue, but it turns out brown instead...sigh. Perhaps deep down inside I'm the kind of person who's tossing two-sided coins... but if you want to get to know me, dearest, you'll have to swallow a world. I wonder why I want to go to a school where the mascot is a hen... and I wonder why my head itches...and I wonder why I'm sitting here taking up space and time. Have you ever pretended to be gay out of fear that a rapist will ask you out? Laughter. Mm. Robert Smith is very cool, no matter what anyone will say, my hair idolizes him... which is a comment you only understand if you know me... Laughter. You'll never guess, I'm bored now...

Bye.