ALL THE REST –    April 3

Today's Quotations – Laughter
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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

—  e. e. cummings  

quote

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.

— Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. 

 

 
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He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.

— Bessie Stanley
quoteA thing derided is a thing dead; a laughing man is stronger than a suffering man.

— Gustave Flaubert 

 
quote
Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused.

—  Unknown

 

Today's Short Words of  Wisdom



"You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 

Abraham Lincoln

 

word puzzle
  Today's Word – AUDACIOUS
   

 


au·da·cious

 adjective 1. Fearlessly, often recklessly daring; bold.  Synonym adventurous, brave. 2. Unrestrained by 
convention or propriety; insolent. 3. Spirited and original: an audacious interpretation of two Jacobean dramas.

'I don't know. He left here,' said Traddles, 'with his mother, who had been clamoring, and beseeching, and disclosing, the whole time.  They went away by one of the London night coaches, and I know no more  about him; except that his malevolence to me at parting was audacious. He seemed to consider himself hardly less indebted to me, than to Mr.Micawber; which I consider (as I told him) quite a compliment.'

DAVID COPPERFIELD
Charles Dickens
Definitions from American Heritage Dictionary

 

Today's Fact

 

  
 


Alcoholic
Beverages

  

 

Distillation

The process of fermentation is a natural one. The two ingredient necessary for fermentation are a source of sugar and the ever present organism yeast. Yeast is a vegetative microorganism that lives and multiplies in media containing carbohydrates--particularly simple sugars. It has been found throughout the world, including frozen areas and deserts. Civilizations in nearly all parts of the world developed some sort of alcoholic beverage very early in their history. The normal process of fermentation produces a beverage with the percentage of alcohol between 10 and 14 percent. Most cultures of yeast die when the percent of alcohol reaches about 12% or less. Some specialized yeasts have been isolated that can live in an environment of nearly 14% alcohol. These yeasts are used in some of the wines.

Mankind was not satisfied with this amount of alcohol in his beverages. He desired more of the drug alcohol. Distilled spirits are all alcoholic beverages in which the concentration of ethyl alcohol has been increased above that of the original fermented mixture by a method called distillation. The principle of alcoholic distillation is based upon the different boiling points of alcohol (78.5 C) and water (100 C). If a liquid containing ethyl alcohol is heated to a temperature above 78.5 C but below 100 C and the vapor coming off the liquid is condensed, the condensate will have a higher alcohol concentration, or strength.

The Chinese were the first to encounter liquor. They discovered that distilling beer would yield an alcoholic drink with more of a punch. In 800 BC they were collecting and condensing vapors of boiled rice beer and adding it back to the original brew. They repeated the process until they changed it from the original 10% alcohol to 40% alcohol. The drink was called Arrack.

The Arabs developed a distillation method that was used to produce a distilled beverage from wine. Greek philosophers reported a crude distillation method. The Romans apparently produced distilled beverages, although no references concerning them are found in writings before AD 100. Production of distilled spirits was reported in Britain before the Roman conquest. Spain, France, and the rest of western Europe probably produced distilled spirits at an earlier date, but production was apparently limited until the 8th century, after contact with the Arabs.

Sources:
The Browser's Book of Beginnings and Origins of Everything under, and Including the Sun - Charles Panat | Encyclopaedia Britannica |

 

clown
Today's SMILE

 

A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22 (NIV)

  
   

 

 

"What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."

Joseph Addison

 

A FEW SMILES   

Occupational Hymns

Astronaut - "Nearer My God, to Thee"
Baker - "I Need Thee Every Hour"
Baseball batter - "Seek Thee First"
Builder - "How Firm a Foundation"
Canoeist - "Flow River, Flow"
Dentist - "Crown Him with Many Crowns"
Electrician - "O Joyful Light"
Fisherman - "Shall We Gather at the River?"
Gossip - "It Is No Secret"
IRS - "All to Thee" (I Owe)
Jogger - "The Path of Life"
Lifeguard - "Come to the Water"
Sailboater - "Deep River"
Stonecutter - "Rock of Ages"
Watchman - "Silent Night"
Weatherman - "There Shall Be Showers of Blessings"

(from Nov/Dec "Reminisce" magazine)

Bakery Invention

Did you hear about the inventor of old that came up with a knife that would slice two loaves of bread at the same time?  He sold it to a large bakery. 

He then developed a knife that could slice three loaves of bread at the same time.   He sold that idea, too!

Finally, the ultimate.  He made a huge knife that could cut four loaves of bread at the same time!

  And so, on that day that shall live in all our hearts, was born the world's first four-loaf cleaver.

The Test

The grizzled old sea captain was quizzing a young, tyro naval student. "What steps would you take if a sudden storm came up on the starboard?"

"I'd throw out an anchor, sir."

"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"

"I'd throw out another anchor, sir."

"But what if a third storm sprang up forward?"

"I'd throw out another anchor, captain."

"Just a minute, son. Where in the world are you getting all these anchors?"

"From the same place you're getting all your storms, sir." 

Taxes are Due Soon
A Few Tax Quips

America is a land of untold wealth.
Most of it is untold on the tax forms!

Tax loopholes are just like parking spaces. As soon as you get there, they aren't there anymore.

Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.
There may be a tax on it by then!

There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.

The IRS is like a bad laundry. You keep losing your shirt!

A True Story

Billy Graham was greeting people at a old age retirement  home.  He went up to a woman, shook her hand, and said "Do you know who I am?"  "No," replied the old woman, "but if  you go to the front desk, they'll tell you!"

Zondervan - ZPH

 

The Mix-Up

A new business was opening, and a long-time friend of the owner decided to send flowers for the occasion. He arrived at the "grand opening", accepted a glass of champagne and a warm handshake from his host, then browsed about the room examining the many floral arrangements and potted plants. Finally, he happened upon his own offering, only to find an attached card bearing this sentiment: "Rest in Peace".

Embarrassed and irate at the florist's error, he phoned to lodge a complaint. After venting his anger in a lengthy tirade, he waited for the florist's explanation.

"Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry....imagine this: Somewhere a funeral is taking place today, and they have a lovely floral spray with an attached note saying: 'Congratulations on your new location!'"

THINGS YOU'D RATHER NOT HEAR ON AN AIRLINE P.A...

1 .Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices.

  2 .Hey folks, were going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with
a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

 


Daily Miscellany Comics

 

Have A Great Day

Phillip Bower

 

 

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Copyright Information: Phillip Bower is not the author of the humor, and does not claim to own any copyright privileges to the jokes. Sources of jokes are listed when known. Birthday's and Happenings for the date, and quotations are public knowledge and collected from numerous sources. Quotations are public knowledge and sources are listed when known. Weekendspirations are written by Tim Knappeenberger who has copyright privileges. Cathy Vinson authors Whispers from the Wilderness and owns copyright privileges. Weekendspirations and Whispers from the Wilderness are used with permission by the respective authors. Other devotions are written by Phillip Bower unless otherwise stated. In all cases credit is given when known. The Daily Miscellany is nonprofit. Submissions by readers is welcome.